I Love All Women (but this is for the black women)

This is number 7 of my top ten most powerful poem. I will be reblogging 6 more poems after this then I will be moving on for good. I hope you enjoy reading this.

Poetry Blog

As a black man

I love me
a black woman.
Dark chocolate
or caramel
I could tell
most of you
been under appreciated.
I’m here to make
you feel appreciated.
In my world
take the lead
become dominant.
Gain your
independence
and picture my
black penis
as your
Declaration
Of Independence.
Don’t care
what other  men
say
you u are not a bitch.
I just wanna massage
your hips
as I kiss your lips.
Then I come
behind you  still
holding your hips as
I read you this

“Your body is a
work of art.
Look in the mirror
and never be afraid
of you who are.
Of all races
Black women
have it the hardest
but your problems
will be acknowledged
All you need is
a man to listen
and I am here to
listen.
Communication
is important.
So tell me your passion
Tell me favorite poem,
R &B…

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Devil’s Politics

Devils politics

Technology and musical instruments

Artist perform and articulate lyrics

that help build their image

but destroy human population.

Women became thots and bitches

Symbolized as sex images

Sexual conduct is promoted

and girls are idolizing

the artists and videos

on television

and becoming sex objects

A bad bitch, a gangsta bitch

a baby momma and a diva.

We glorify these sexual personas

Gain friends and popularity

through the use of weed smoking.

That loud, that reffer, that purple haze,

orange kush

Different slang name, but it all does the same

damage in the brain.

Cells leaking out the head like semen

which leading women to abortion clinics,

children being neglected and a growth of single parents.

Husband and Wife is conservative

Baby momma and Baby daddy is the alternative

and over the years it became repetitive.

Shit sometimes a life is created out of a situationship

since marriage is damn near facing extinction.

Marriage is the bald eagle

Situationship is the pigeon that shit on relationships like car windows.

Peak inside the window at a isolated area

and you’ll see weed smoke and foggy windows.

Foggy windows could be viewed on porn sites.

The site that turns making love into a foreign concept.

Regular intercourse we overrate for focusing only on the body

instead of the intimacy.

The bonding hormone released at orgasm is released during masturbation ,when no one is present

so the bonding hormone we was all blessed with, stop having it’s effect.

Now privacy and safety is at risk and exposed to children

for falling victims to sexual offenders

and a quarter of teenagers been bullied through the internet or texting

and a select few have participated in sexting.

Devils strategy is to create a false sense of reality.

Schemed demonology mislead the population strategically.

Evil rarely detectable, its defined as a malicious tactic in stealth mode like a fighter plane.

Devils is the president that’s winning

every election

and fallen angles are the corrupted politicans in the house of Congress

utilizing musical instruments and technology.

Comment below if you can think of ways how music and technology affect society?

How To Save Your Marriage Part 3

Please read How To Save Your Marriage? and How To Be A Better Husband for real marriage advice.  Statics shows that 1 out of every 2 marriages end in divorce. I plan on writing a book about saving your marriage and being a better husband. In the bible, it says the man has to listen to his wife and love her. But sometimes we as men lose sight of that so below I will list a few things that can help your marriage prosper.

 

  1. When having sex with your wife, only worry about your own orgasm if you as a man pay the mortgage.
  2.  As a husband, never be the first to apologize.
  3. When your wife tells you I love you, don’t say it back in return because she already knows how you feel.
  4.  If you and your wife get into an argument, if you are paying the mortgage then tell her she has to sleep on the couch.
  5. If your wife won’t have sex with you, then don’t get mad, just watch porn.
  6. If your wife want you to kiss her, tell her no and kiss her on the cheek.
  7. Tell your wife that holding hands is not necessary and that’s only in the dating stage.
  8. Tell your wife that during basketball finals that she can go cheat because during NBA finals you will be only focusing on basketball.
  9. As a man if you have problems obtaining an erection and your wife think you should see help, tell her no and that sex is no longer a priority.
  10. Tell your wife that you love her but your mother comes first since your mother gave you birth.
  11. Tell your wife that celebrating anniversaries are overrated and you rather stay home and save money.
  12. Tell your wife that she don’t have to submit and that you rather have her lead the household.
  13. Tell your wife to not dress to impress you as a husband and recommend her not to wear tight clothing.
  14.  Tell your wife that her father comes 1st not matter what so tell her that if her father needs her, she is more than welcome to attend his needs.
  15. Tell your wife that there is nothing wrong with being addicted to porn and that sex is overrated and it looks better on porn.
  16. Tell your wife that its perfectly normal to check out other women and its perfectly normal. As long you don’t check out other women nothing wrong with checking out other women. In fact encourage her to check out other men
  17.  If your wife cheat and had sex with another man, to be honest as long as she wore a condom and did it in a hotel and did not give him head, this is absolutely  fine and reward her with a vanilla shake.
  18.  Tell your wife that she is not allowed to moan during sex and that sex will be a maximum of five minutes
  19. Tell your wife that it is disrespectful to receive blowjobs from her
  20. Tell your wife that being honest destroys the marriage faster
  21.  Tell your wife that dedication is more important than passion so as long as you are loyal and dedicated to her, tell her that you don’t have to be romantic to her.

 

I just gave you a sample of my book that I plan to publish in January. The name of my book is “101 Ways To Save Your Marriage” Marriage is like chores, it is not suppose to be fun, it’s suppose to be a lot of work and something that has to get done.

Comment below if you think marriage is worth it or not?

 

 

 

Sight Like Coke Sweet Like Cherry

When I see you
I see a pretty black face
with a nice shape.
Color of your skin
represent strength
With words your outspoken
your mind is open
and I admire your confidence

When I see you
I see curvy hips
just below the stomach
where the skin is flawless
smooth like a boat ride
in the ocean.
You look extraordinary
like the pyramids in Giza

When I taste you
I taste a sweet flavor
Sweet like sugar
With my tounge
I dig deeper.
My tounge is a shovel
and you are the treasure
and I dig in deeper.

When I taste you
I taste the juices
so delightful
while I dance around
inside of you
Inside your mouth
like a washer machine
tounge automatically cycles

Black like Coca-Cola
and sweet like cherry
sweet like soda
Black like Pepsi
Black like pasta
Sweet like tea
Sweet like a bell pepper
Black like coffee

Courageous like Black Panther
Beautiful like Kenya
Sweet like Cherry
and Black like Coca-Cola
A strong, independent woman
like yourself
makes me proud
to be an African American

It Was Only Suppose To Be A Simple First Date Only

Everything seemed normal until I laid eyes on her.

Swear the most gorgeous figure and her hairstyle is most what I adored.

Definitely have caught my attention for sure.

I approached her, got her name, number, and I wanted to get to know her

some more.

A week later I took her to dinner and we conversed.

She told me she was a school nurse and on

Sundays she goes to church.

A beautiful working woman that’s God fearing, what more can I ask more.

I admire her curves as we talked for a while.

The round hips on her, and the dimples when she smiles.

Something was happening to me while she speaks to me.

The flirtatious look on her face turned me on and had me blushing.

I got a little embarrassed when she noticed that because I like to keep 

what’s on my mind a secret.

But truth be told it was obvious even to a first grader that I was catching feelings.

As usual she had to say “Aww you look so cute when you blush”

I started to giggle a little and I said “Okay now that’s enough.”

A little while later, the waiter brought the bill.

I pulled out the 50 dollars and left a 10 dollar tip on the table 

and asked her “Did you enjoy your meal?”

She said “It was cool, even though I didn’t finish it”

I wanted to invite her to my house, but I couldn’t form the sentence.

Finding the rights word at that moment was nonexistent, I guess I was nervous. 

I been on dates before but  I still felt like a novice.

So instead I played it safe an drove her back home in silence.

So I pulled up to the curb in front of her house and put the car in park.

I felt the tension between us like where in a horror movie and it was after dark.

She said “So what are you about to get into now?”

I said “Nothing much then I started daydreaming imagining her in a sexy gown.

She said “I didn’t expect to get home so early now”

I was caught off guard and I was thinking hard.

I was almost certain she was throwing out the clues.

Like  a game of chess, how do I start, how do I make my first move?

What do I do?

She started touching my arms admiring my Sean John sweater but felt my body tense up.

She really had to push her luck and now at that point I already know wassup.

She began to cares my neck and armpits and tickle just to hear me giggle.

This moment was definitely official because I knew I was soon going to yell checkmate.

But I didn’t make any move yet I choose to play it safe

by saying ” What do I have to do to get you to stop?”

She pulled me closer and said “come here” we  kissed and I didn’t want to stop.

After thirty seconds I stopped and I pretend  I was shocked even though deep down

I knew ahead of time what she was gonna do.

I waited for a few seconds then I went in for the kiss full force and aggressive. 

I kissed and touch her with a little bit of lust and affection.

She felt the bulge between my pants and I anticipated on what she was about to do next.

I reclined my seat back, close my eyes and she was giving me some neck.

Five minutes later just when I was about to cum, she asked me ” Do you have a condom?”

 

To Be Continued!

Image result for is feelings enough to commit gif

or

 

Image result for I can't do this gif

 

How should I continue the next part of this story?

1) The guy has a condom in his pocket and get his groove on and sex her good?

2) The guy has a condom and get try to get his groove on but can’t obtain an erection?

3) The guy doesn’t has a condom and the girl just has sex with him anyway and they both have a pregnant scare?

4) The guy doesn’t have condom and she told him I can’t have sex with you without a condom but the guy gets angry and decides to rape her?

5) The guy doesn’t has a condom and the girl just has sex with him and she catches an STD?

 

 

No Title Yet

I didn’t plan on posting anything until May, but I have been doing a lot of writing for the past 6 weeks. I haven’t uploaded anything on here since December 31st, and I can’t lie I do miss uploading blogs but I still do be around from time to time to give feedback on other people’s blogs. Now I’m still on break so I won’t upload anything else until May but I have wrote this story I wanted to share with my bloggers. I need your help and I want to get you involved with this story by helping me come up with an ending.

You don’t need to answer this question in the comment section, but why do you think I wrote this story and what is the lesson behind this story?

For those of you that have Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc, when you see a picture a bad chick, thick in all the right places, caramel complexion, sexy pose, how many likes and comments do you think she get based on her picture?

A lovely woman with a nice shape
and a gorgeous face.
Want to take her on a date.
Bring her back to your place.
Have sex on the 1st date
with a condom to keep you safe.
Most men think of looks
but I see beyond the pretty face.
The vagina is a snake
gifted wrapped as a present
on Christmas Day.
This lovely woman is a celebration.
Smile is bright and gorgeous
like Christmas decorations
in a white neighborhood.
Proud to express your manhood
as she aggressively takes
charge of your wood.
Cooks and clean,
rubs your back,
and massages your feet.
Affectionate in all the
right places.
Sending you nudes
only a daily basis.
A lady in public
but a freak in private
which really means
a bunny rabbit in public
but a rat in private.
Seems all innocent
in the front
but hiding the fishing rod
behind her back
to reel you in.
Trapping you in her bullshit.
She starts off with
“Your different compared to the assholes
I been with!”
“I’m so lucky to have you!”
“What do you think our future kids would be like?”
“It don’t matter what we do, as long as I spend time with you.”
This is how it is in the beginning.
Sounds lovely but for every beginning there is always an ending.
As time is moving, mood and tension is changing.
My mom and I got into an argument and she kicked me out.
Can I stay with you for a little while?
You don’t really want to but you allow her to stay.
Make some closet space
for all her outfits and high heels,
but at least she says
I will help you with the rent and any other bills”
Start to feel a little better, because you can use
the extra cheddar.
Helps out only for the first month.
Home cooked meals on the regular.
Without being asked, she packs your lunch.
Good sex and blowjobs, you receive a ton.
In fact receiving so much, you barely get to sleep much.
One day you come home and she is on the couch crying.
She just got laid off , “What am I going to do?” She won’t stop complaining.
You feel bad and tell her not to worry.
You being all charming, telling her that
she is smart and sexy and how she will
one day land on her feet.
You also tell her not to worry about paying rent
so she could focus on looking for a job.
You have sympathy for her because you know life is hard.
Never enough flashcards
to prepare you for when you loose your job.
Next day you come home and she is
on the couch watching TV.
Day after she isn’t home because she texted you she is at the library
and she didn’t tell you she left a lot of dishes
in the sink.
Day after she isn’t home again and she didn’t leave you a text message.
Your bedroom is a mess, clothes all over the bed,
perfume all over the dresser, lipstick all over the chester.
Now pissed off, you head to the bathroom
and it smells like marijuana .
So now you call her and leave a voicemail “Where the fuck are you, get your ass back to my apartment I need to talk to you”
She comes and says “I heard your voicemail, why do you have an attitude?”

I will write a part 2 and continue this story but I was thinking of ending this story in three ways

  1. Have the ending where this guy eventually gets her pregnant but find out the baby isn’t his and he kills the baby
  2. She sets him up to get robbed by some street guys
  3. They get into an argument and they get into a fight and he accidentally kills her and now trying to cover up the murder

I want you to comment below and either choose between the three on how I should end this story or if you have another clever way to end this story comment below. I am open to all ideas.

After I write part 2, I will edit this and add a tittle. I purposely didn’t add a title to this story yet. I will upload part 2 in May. I have a lot of good poems coming in the future.

It may take some time before I reply if you choose to comment below because I’m so busy so I apologize ahead of time for late responses to comments

See you all in May

Chase The Money Not The SEX 

I am not talking about all women in this poem

 

 

 

Money and sex is our satisfaction.
Making money is our passion  but having sex is a infatuation.
Money attracts girls but the broke men  don’t  understand this,
So instead  they seek what’s between the legs and chase it.
This is time wasting.
More money you obtain  the more you’ll seek  pretty faces,
with the tight curves exposed thru the tight dresses.
But money comes 1st so don’t  mix pleasure with business
because pussy  can be poisonous  like the tongue on a python.
Hustle hard and stack bread and let the paper grow long.
Paper grows long then the women  come along.
Women aren’t so simple but yet they aren’t so difficult.
Chasing paper  minimizes   female issues.
Paper is the key to using reverse psychology  to breaking down a pretty young lady easily.
Women minds are complicated like a Macbeth novel, keeping a simple man up all night like a night owl.
Paper  will simplify a  woman’s  mind  because  paper   is like spark notes.
Women will understand your language  when you provide them the c-notes.
Paper is their  dictionary to understand a man word for word,
because women  can’t  comprehend the mind of a man who’s poor,
but this is absurd.
Broke man  and a wealthy man talk to the same girl exchanging same words.
Broke man can be intelligent with excellent  vocabulary but  she will ignore him completely.
Wealthy men can be ignorant with a first grade vocabulary but she will let him smash in a heartbeat.
Chase after the wealthy to be 1st place like she sprinting in a track meet.
So lesson is don’t  chase the pussy, chase the dream because  the dream provides the money and money provides the pussy.

 

I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas tomorrow and family always come first. Sometimes family will get on your damn nerves but in this world family is all you got, remember that 

I have been uploading for 24 days straight and tomorrow I am taking a break from uploading.

My next post is December 26. If anyone of  you want to send me a link of a post of yours, send me the link in the comment section and tomorrow I will gladly read and give feedback on your post

Also comment below in quotes if you have a deep question that you think about constantly that you want me to blog about and I will upload it in January.
Also comment below if there was a line in the poem you didn’t agree with or want me to explain

 

 

 

I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

I sure some of you have noticed  I have been posting a lot blogs for the last 3 days. For the month of December I plan to go all out with my blogs and I will be posting a lot of rel – eatable  content. Tomorrow  I will post a poem “Suicide thoughts” and it’s a deep topic to discuss. Now please for those of you that don’t know me, please click this link Who Am I? . It’s an autobiography of me to learn more about me so you can understand this story. Also please, please read I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1) before reading this blog. I hope you all enjoy.  This is a very, very long blog so I will understand if you get bored but I wanted to share my story because I know a lot of people been heart broken before and I like to break things down for you bloggers to picture what I went through. Also this is a very long blog, so if you don’t like reading long blogs you will get bored reading this.

April 2015

Next day is Sunday and I’m still thinking about the previous night. She text me “Good Morning” and I replied back but I wasn’t in the mood to communicate with her. Throughout the day she kept texting me and I just kept replying back but I wasn’t really feeling the vibe after what happened the previous night. After a while, she noticed that I wasn’t really in the mood so she asked me “Are you okay?” I replied back “I call you later” When she got off work, I called her and I asked “Do you still have feelings on me?” she was a little hesitant and said” On certain days I do, on certain days I’m not in the mood.” Now that I’m wiser looking back at it now, I should of just wished her luck and moved on, but you live and you learn. So anyway when she told me that, I asked her “Well what’s gonna happen between us in the future? She responded “I’m not sure” So I said “We can’t remain friends forever tho, either one day we will get back together or we will go our separate ways.” Now I don’t remember what her response was because this was like 3 years ago but I said what I said to her because I guess I was trying to put the pressure on her so she can really figure out what she wanna do. I felt like she got too comfortable with receiving relationship benefits on a friendship level. I also asked her over the phone why she didn’t want to kiss me and if she was uncomfortable and she told me “Oh no I was just tired and I wanted to go home.” I felt like she was bullshitting because even if you tired if you really into somebody even if your tired wouldn’t you still kiss that person?(just a question to think about)

                                                                     May 2015

Fast forward to May, me and this girl still are communicating but probably like 2 or 3 times a week. At this point I’m focus because I started working 2 jobs so I was busy everyday. At this point I started talking to other girls to get my mind off my ex because at this point I didn’t know what was going to happen between me and her. My ex and I would text about 2 or 3 times a week. I won’t lie I still had feelings for her. Now back in April when we saw the fast furious movie I did tell her we were going to see Avengers age of Ultron in May but after I tried to kiss her and she slammed the car door on my face I was like fuck that (for those that don’t know what happened when we saw fast furious go back to the top of this blog and click on the link and read the 1st part). So it was the beginning of May and we texting back and fourth. I mentioned I couldn’t wait to see the avengers movie. She said when do you plan to see it” I said maybe this weekend”
then I asked her “Do you plan to see it?” She said ” I thought we planned on seeing it together but I guess you don’t feel like driving to queens.” Lol I played it off and said ” Lol my fault I forgot you know I’m a old man I forget simple shit”. She called me an old man. I didn’t forget, I was playing it off because you see, this girl barely kissed me, and we haven’t had sex in months. Now me and her are just friends at this point so I wasn’t really chasing the sex but at this point I’m like if she comfortable enough to hang out with me, comfortable enough to her allow to pick from work, I even gave her money twice(now this was my fault because I volunteered to do this) but whenever I try to make a move or bring up my feelings she goes cold. So now I’m like you know what, I ain’t going out my way for her no more unless she gives it up. So later when I was in school, we was texting back and  fourth. Don’t remember how this started, but I said to her “You can’t say my name lol ” but we just joking. She said “Yes I can lol”. I said “You can’t say my name unless we having sex and I know you not trying to take it there” She put “Lmao but can still say your name”. I said “Lol why well are you going to have sex with me?” She said “No, but I can still say your name” I said “Alright fine, you can say my name while having sex with another guy” She said “No that would be very rude of me to say that” I said, ” Well it’s very rude for you to say my name”, I don’t remember her response but after I left class I gave her a call. I decided that either we get back together or I go my separate way.  So called her and told that. I asked her if she wanted to work things out and get back together. She said she wasn’t sure so I told I will give you 2 weeks to think about it.  The following week she got the nerve to ask me for a favor,something to do with her car. I made up an excuse though, I didn’t do it. Some other things happen during the month of May but I can’t remember everything because it’s been so long. This took place over two years ago.

                                                                June 2015

So now we fast forward to June. Both of our birthdays were in June. Between May and June we barely spoke. I was on the verge of just cutting her off. At this point, I still had feelings but I was starting to get use to not hearing from her. I felt like I started healing. I felt like I was getting stronger or at least I thought I was. So anyway it was  the middle of June  and it was her birthday. It was 9AM and I was contemplating on rather or not if I should text her “Happy Birthday”. So after 10 minutes of being in deep thought, I decided to text her “Happy Birthday” and she said “Thank you!”. From that day until June 22, we slowly started communicating here and there but not often. So now fast forward to about 4 or 5 days later this girl texted me ” You okay?”. Once in a blue moon she would text me this if we haven’t spoke in a while. So anyway, I texted her” I alright wbu?” So she “I’m good” I said” Is there anything you wanna talk about?” She said” Are you seeing new friend?” I said” New friend? do you mean if  I’m dating somebody new?” She said “Yes!” I said “No, but why did you ask me that?” She said “No reason” I said” for real stop playing why you asked me that?” She said” I just want to see you found someone to replace me that’s all”. Now I  don’t know why I said this looking back at this now but my response was” Nah, nobody would ever take your place”.
She responded” Aww 😚😚
So she asked me” How is work coming along?”
I said “I’m just busy you know staying focus working two jobs?” She said ” That’s a lot, but if we was to get back together, how would you have the time?” I said”Good question, but I can make time.” Now I was just thinking to myself maybe she does want to get back together but I still was on my guard because I still didn’t trust her. I somewhat had feelings for her still, but I was healing little by little.  So fast forward to June 22, she texted me ” How you doing?” I said” I’m good!”  We was going back and fourth and she I told her that my supervisor was letting me leave work early. She said” Why?” I said “because it’s my birthday” She said “Omg I’m so sorry Happy Birthday!”  I’m just like “lol thank you”. One minute later, she gave me a call and said she apologizes for forgetting my birthday then she said let’s hang out. I said I’ll let you know. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. So  I asked a co-worker for advice. The co-worker said I should let her take me out for my birthday. So I took his advice(looking back now I should just went with my instincts instead of taking this advice)

                                                                   July 2015

For those of you reading this, if you don’t like what your hearing and if you feel like this is a fucked story then I wouldn’t recommend reading the rest of this story because it does get worst. So now it’s July and I wanted go to a buffet. I picked her up and we went to the buffet. I swear I was not trying to make a move or anything I just wanted to be a simple date that’s all. So we at the buffet, and we are talking. She seemed really excited to see me. Around this time, I was listening to K love trying to change my ways and become more positive. So anyway, I can’t lie, my feelings started coming back, she seemed really excited to see me, plus she just got her license so I was excited for her. She wanted to register for college (now what I am about to say was so foolish, so stupid, so navie) and she owed the school 1000 dollars.  I was working two jobs, I had money, plus I was listening K love radio station, so I was feeling positive and I felt like God was looking out for me. I love helping people so I offer to help her pay for college and I told her she only have to pay me half back by December. She really appreciated it. So after the buffet I was planning to take her home, but  she said she wasn’t in a rush to go home. We decided to go to the mall to pass time. To my surprise, she started holding my hand while in the mall. Now that’s what got me because we haven’t done that in months.  Now think about this, 3 weeks prior, she asked me if I was dating anybody else, if we got back together how would you have the time,  and she started holding my hand, now wouldn’t this lead you on?  So we head back to the car and I was feeling the moment and I tried kissing her. She started pulling back harder. So I’m thinking like alright she just playing hard to get. It’s been a while since like months since  I got close with a female and I feel like this was a good opportunity. This time I didn’t care I was coming on to her. But when I got closer the second time, she said “I  don’t want to get turned on , it’s been a month since I been turned on” I paused for a second because I’m like what the fuck that got to do with me and why you telling that. So I asked her “You had sex a month ago?”  she said “Yes”. Let’s think about this, all along for months I made effort to show her that I care, I gave her money like twice, picked her up from work, went to church with her family, contacted her on a daily, never pressured her for sex up until this point, and she fucked someone else like wow. I was shocked because I let my guard down. In the back of my mind since April I had a feeling she was messing with another guy. I knew it and I tried my hardest to move on but she kept leading me on and I tried so hard to give her the benefit of the doubt. Now I can’t remember what my response was, but I drove her home in silence. I went home pissed of. For the men that’s reading this, I’m sure you can understand how I felt.  So anyway she texted me “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get you upset” I called her and told I think it’s best we don’t talk for a while.  I couldn’t even go to sleep that night. Every day I kept thinking and thinking about this bullshit. I couldn’t focus at work , I couldn’t focus at school , I just kept replaying this shit in my head. I could not let it go.  So I went to God and I prayed. I too realized  that back in October I broke up with her through a text message and I will briefly explain that at the end of this blog. So I prayed and I talked to my mom and she started praying for me. After about a week , I decided to text and ask her why she did what she did?(I know I should of just left her alone) When you love somebody it’s very hard to move on. In fact, when the person you love breaks your heart, you blame yourself and that’s what  I did. Now I can’t remember everything but since I was trying so hard to forgive her, praying to God still,  I decided to forgive her and I texted whatever happened on my birthday let’s leave it in the past and just move on. Now at this point I wasn’t trying to get back with her anymore, but I thought at least we can be civil and move on. The reason why I blamed myself because sometimes I feel like I overthink a lot of things and I create situations and problems  in my head worrying about every single thing and I was trying hard to change that at that time. So I figure maybe I’m just thinking too hard and I should just let this go. So anyway, after I texted her that, she told me thank you. So we started talking a little and I’m slowly letting go what happened then she got the nerve to text me ” You still going to lend me the money?” In my head I’m like you gotta be fucking serious. I’m like what the hell. I should of cursed her ass out. I responded “I don’t know I will think about”. I didn’t plan on lending her money. I thought about it and  I asked myself, why should I lend her money?

Before I continue with the story, I will briefly explain something real quick so you can understand my though process at this time. I apologize for this long blog, but I am trying hard to break everything down so you can understand this. I am going to be completely honest and this is not easy for me to admit this but I think it’s important for you to know this. When me and this girl got together, this was my first relationship and I was inexperienced in all areas. I repeat, I was inexperienced in all areas. So we got together and I was embarrassed by my inexperience and I felt like I couldn’t keep her with her. I had problems staying hard. Truth was I never admitted to her, but I didn’t know how to put on a condom. So I couldn’t maintain an erection. I was extremely embarrassed. So I decided to go unprotected. Still couldn’t keep it up. This shit was in my head all throughout the day. Since I was inexperienced, I use to compare myself to other guys. I was felt like she was going to leave me because of that.  I went to urologist and he gave me cialis and it worked for me. Since I didn’t know how to put on condoms, I just went unprotected. I got addicted to having sex unprotected and I hated condoms. So anyway there was guy she use to date before me and I thought she still had feelings for him while she was with me. Let’s just say because of my lack of experience was the reason why I felt like she still had feelings for the previous guy before I came into the picture. There’s a lot more to say but I feel like I probably already gave you guys a headache so I will leave it here.

 

So back where I left off with the story,  I was thinking about lending her the money but then I thought to myself, what if the guy had sex with was a from the past? Next day, I texted and first thing I asked her was “If I lend you money, will you promise me to pay me back in December?” She said “Yes” Then I asked her ” Remember when you told me you had sex a month ago, was that guy you had sex with a new guy you just met or a guy from your past?  She said” Someone from the past” When I heard that damn, I can’t describe how painful that felt.  The reason why it felt painful because here I am, nice, respectful gentleman, doing everything in my power to be there for this girl and yet she fucking somebody from the past when she clearly tells me that all the guys from her past were trash. W got into an argument and she told me ” I don’t know why you making a big deal, it’s my life and I wasn’t even dating the guy, it was just a fling thing.” I wanted to punch her in the fucking face.  I can’t lie, I went to the bathroom I called my mom and I was in tears.

 

 

This experience changed me. To this day I haven’t been back to church ever since. I stopped listening to K love, I lost respect for women. I was hurt for months until I went to the strip club and I just started paying for sex. Real talk. Believe it or not , the strip club was my healing factor and I was watching porn like crazy. What happened was strip clubs and porn desensitized my mind. I didn’t trust any girls. I only wanted strippers but I wore a condom though I didn’t smash a stripper raw, I ‘m not that crazy. I realize that strippers make bad decisions but they are friendly people that accept you for who you are. A few of them I was getting to know them and I realized that they have a lot potential to be great. Now some people judge strippers and think they are stupid hoes, let me tell you something, strippers make poor decisions but they are warm hearted people(most not all) trying to earn a living and even though they caught a lot of bodies, they will make sure their clients use to protection because they want to catch nothing. A lot of these girls out here getting pregnant fucking every nigga raw, they ain’t no better than the strippers. But eventually I did get bored with the strip club but it did help me though.  As time move on, I started to talk to other females and I realized I had more in common with other females than my ex.  I realized my ex wasn’t for me. This was all a learning experience and you know what, I thank her for breaking my heart. She taught me a lot and I forgive her now. If we was still together I would eventually been miserable. I accept myself for who I am and that I am just an over thinker. Not giving a fuck healed me. Now if I don’t get hard in the bedroom, I don’t give a fuck, if a girl gets upset and think I’m lame then go fuck another nigga it don’t bother me. I realized that being single was the best decision ever. Someone on twitter use to tweet everyday ” I’m glad that I can wake up and not get cheated on” lol I don’t know why but that’s funny to me. I started saying that lol. Now for women reading this, I know there are some good women out there I know,so I didn’t take my frustration out on all women but some of you are fucked up, just being honest. Another lesson I learn is you can’t always trust a christian that lives by the bible day in and day out(no offensive). Some Christians are good people so I’m not placing all Christians in this category, but be careful because some of them will hurt you in the worst. Some of them will just receive from you and will not give you anything in return. I respect church members and it’s a great honor to see them worship God but the one thing that use to annoy me with them was they are so nosy. Like they would always try everything in their power to  try to get me involved in the church activities , they don’t accept no for an answer. For example, they say, “come to the Friday night service, you said you don’t work on Fridays you not doing nothing so come on down” it’s annoying when they do that because it’s like they trying to trap me into coming but all this does is push me away further and further. Like I said I wasn’t perfect because I broke up with my ex through a text message so I’m not trying to appear innocent.  If you would like to hear more about why I broke up with my ex, through a text message and the events take took place then comment below. If you read this long blog from start to finish appreciate you because this took a lot of thinking to write this. I love relating to people that been heart broken because I know how it feels.   I heard this in church once

 

“We all have gotten hurt by somebody and we all will hurt somebody”

 

I Just Have To Ask Why

I didn’t plan on blogging right now, but look at this blog as bonus blog. From time to to I may just surprise you with a bonus blog.

I want my blog to be like a video game and just picture as the secret level or cheat code.
A bonus blog is just extra content and mini blog for you to look at while I work on my primary original blogs. I Just may upload bonus blog from time to time 

Men:
1. When you just started talking to a girl you just met,  why lie and say you not talking to other girls if you really are?
2. If you cheating on your girl on a regular basis then why get mad as soon as she is having lunch with a male co-worker?
3. Most women do want men to lead and take charge but why do you talk to your woman as if she is a child and you trying to be too dominant?
4. Why do you lie by any means neccessary to get pussy?
5. If you love having sex with different women, why cheat instead why not remain single?
6. Now I can’t lie because I kind see where men are coming from on this, but if you want a threesome then why not just try to get a threesome while you single instead of asking your girlfriend/wife for one?
7. If you a one minute man, why do you want a threesome?
8. Why you say “These hoes ain’t loyal” or “can’t trust these hoes” if you having sex with hoes unprotected knowing that they had sex with other guys?
9. Why have sex unprotected and get a girl pregnant if you have no chance on taking care of your kids?
10. Why do you expect your wife/girlfriend to give you head all the time?(head is good but most girl don’t want to do it all the time)

For the women

1. Every time when a rich or famous man cheat, why is the reason because “niggas ain’t shit”
2. If your looking for a relationship, why would you have sex with a guy you barely know that didn’t claim you yet?
3. Why do you say you want a big dick if you know you can’t handle it?
4. Now I can understand if this was all this time but why do you get mad if your boyfriend/husband falls fast sleep right after the 1st round of sex?
5 Why do you  want to try handcuffs and a  blindfold during sex? (I think this is crazy)
6. I have seen this on Facebook and twitter, now I don’t judge but if you don’t have a car, don’t have a decent job, still living at home, why do you think your ready for a baby?
7.Why do you try to trap a man into becoming a father just to get childsupport , don’t you think it’s better to be married to a man you love 1st so your child can have both parents in his life?
8.Now when giving head, why do you get mad when a man errupts in your mouth when you know sometimes when a man climax he usually have no control or the will power to control it?
9.When you having sex unprotected, why get mad when he doesn’t pull out but yet you refuse to take plan b or any type of contra- eptive  method?
10. If your man cheated,  why take him back? and why get mad or fight the girl your man cheated with if you don’t know the girl personally?