Sex frightens me
Pussy gives me
like its jeepers creepers.
I hate an agreesive chick
but I love a dick teaser.
A dick teasee is like a rollercoaster
because she make my heartpound
but they just tease.
Its all for fun, they mean no harm.
Pussy has never been my good luck charm.
I don’t know what to do with it.
I’m scared as shit.
I can’t obtain an erection and I have trouble finding the hole.
I have a small dick and that I have been told.
If I get married, if my wife want to conceive a child, she has to go to a sperm bank.
I have no ammo in the tank.
Her back, I can’t break.
I can’t put her to sleep, but I do have her leaving the house horny
and playing with her pussy
while I’m asleep because I can’t satisfy my wife needs.
If you think your marriage is unsolvable, think again.
Don’t let your marriage be destroyed. If your marriage is in danger of separation or divorce, email me at “email@example.com” to set up an appointment. I’m a specialist in marriage rescue and I’m here to help you learn how to save your marriage.
My motivation is to help you determine if this workshop is right for your particular situation. I also offer solutions for couples who can’t attend the workshop.
1) Dates Not required. As a man, once you marry your wife, tell her that dates are not necessary. Dates cost too much money, dates can cause asthma attacks, and can cause weight gain.
2) Being Affectionate is not required. Being affectionate can increase the chances of neglecting your children, increases the chance of being hurt emotionally, and you will imagined as a weak person.
3) Have limits on sexual intercourse. Sex on a regularly basis is impossible. If your spouse want to have sex on a regular basis, politely ask for a divorce. Sex will increase the chances of catching a stroke. Sex is like a roller coaster, you enjoy it more when you are a teenager. If you are over 25, and you want sex on a regular basis, then you may to seek help immediately because your energy is abnormal.
4) Parents should be involved more. As a woman, once you marry your husband, either allow your mother or your husbands mother to live with you for five years so you can be taught on how to be a good wife. As a man, for the first five years of marriage, you and your wife must sleep in separate beds because separation will destroy the lust in your bodies. The hunger for lust leads to trap with serpents.
5). The wife should never cook. As a man, never allow your wife to cook. As a man, we need to appreciate and respect women more. We need more women leaders and more women presidents. Women cooking is so traditional. Women should come home to a home cooked and allow the man to make all the meals and do the laundry.
6) The wife should pay 95% of the bills. Women are now more independent compared to women 50 years ago. As men, we need to learn from our women. So as men, lets all stick together and push for more stronger independent women by encouraging them to find careers with 6 figure salaries so they can pay all the bills.
7) Allow Freedom. Your spouse does not need to know your work schedule. It is not necessary for your spouse to know what time you will be coming home every night. When you tell your spouse everything, the marriage becomes predictable in which makes the marriage boring.
8). Your children comes first always. This is a big one because some people believe that their spouse comes first. Real shit, if you believe this
9) Don’t be afraid to try an open marriage. Make sure to talk about protection, remain flexible, and don’t treat your secondary partner like a second class partner. Sex with the same person get boring
Most people don’t want to admit it because they are judgmental, refuse to accept the truth, and allow what others think about them affect them in a bad way. Be honest with yourself, you know traditional sex is tedious. Porn is a very helpful factor for marriages. Now I get it, porn is not something that most be should be proud of, I get that, but here me out. The divorce rate in this generation is over 50%. People now are more liberal compare to the people 50 years. Liberals get bored a lot faster than a conservative. A secondary sex partner is better because you don’t have to worry about lying and being sneaky to your partner and your secondary partner will make you appreciate your spouse 10 times more. How many celebrities you know that cheated on their spouse, got caught, but still worked out their problems. If Hillary Clinton still stayed with her husband, then you can too.
10) Eating requirements. Once dinner is made, you and your spouse should eat at separate times. The wife should eat first, wash her plate in the sink, than the husband eats and wash his plate in the sink. Also make sure that in the summer time you have a powerful AC in the house because both the husband and wife should be clothed as much as possible. Shorts should not be allowed in the house because the more skin that’s visible, the easier it is for the demon of lust will enter your household and destroy your marriage.
Comment below and tell me what it is that your spouse is doing that is putting your marriage at jeopardy so I can provide you with the best solution to avoid a divorce.
Don’t let your marriage be destroyed. If your marriage is in danger of separation or divorce, email me at “firstname.lastname@example.org” to set up an appointment.
My motivation is to help you determine if this workshop is right for your particular situation. I also offer solutions for couples who can’t attend the workshop.
In this post, I will list the top ten things to do to save your marriage.
1) If you are having trouble obtaining an erection during sex, tell your wife ” I’m sorry I am not good enough for you” and kindly ask for a divorce.
2) If your wife tries to get frisky with you in the bedroom, yell at her and tell that you are afraid of seeing her naked because you love her too much to disrespect her.
3) Tell your wife that you strongly suggest that she shouldn’t wear booty shorts, make up, or leggings. Buy your wife sweat pants and pajamas to wear all times because you don’t want your wife to expose her curves.
4) Get your wife in the mood and touch and kiss her and make her feel attractive by giving her all types of compliments. Once your wife gets aroused, put a blind fold on her and tell her you are going to rock her world. Once the blind fold is on her, quietly leave the house and pray that she doesn’t hear you leave and never come back home.
5) For those of you that have an anniversary coming up, tell your wife that for the anniversary, you will take her to see Toy Story 4 to and take her to McDonalds afterwards to save money for the kids.
6) Never give your wife flowers because flowers die fast. For every anniversary that comes up, you and your wife should go on separate vacations and give each other space. Space is the number 1 thing that saved Barack and Michelle Obama’s marriage.
7) If God for bid your wife throws you a surprise birthday party, act like you love the surprise and tell her you love her to play it off. But as soon as she falls asleep later that night, write a long letter explaining how she broke your heart and tell her that you will divorce her and leave the letter under the pillow. Leave the house before she wakes up.
8) Tell your wife that sex is inappropriate and that sex will never take place at all. Let your wife know that she will never know how your penis feels or look like and that if she want children, she must go to a sperm bank.
9) Encourage your wife that it’s okay for married men to get lap dances from strippers as long as they don’t touch the strippers. Tell your wife that on the anniversary, you will go to the strip club.
10) Tell your wife that if she tries to wake you up in the middle of the night by giving you oral sex, tell her that you will call the cops on her.
This is a bonus tip: If you are struggling to keep the fire burning in your marriage and your wife suggest marriage counseling, laugh in her face and print this out and give her the list. If your wife thinks this list is a joke and a waste of time, kindly scream at her “I want a divorce” in Vince McMahon’s voice.
I saved a total of 102 marriages and I have a 86% success rate.
I offer package deals for the summer of 2019 and I will be dropping prices because the summer is when the divorce rate is at its highest. Remember the key thing, the more sex you have in your marriage, the higher chances you have of getting a divorce. Sex is overrated an it poisons the mind to another level.
This year I want to save at least 40 marriages by the end of the year so please share this post with your family and friends so one day I can become famous from this post.
Now this image right here is what I found on pinterest. But please listen to me, this image is bullshit. No marriage is perfect and if you follow this, your marriage will collapse. I will break this down each step.
1) Kiss your spouse is not necessary at all. You should only be allowed to kiss your spouse on the cheek and that’s it. You don’t know where your spouse lips have been so kissing should not be allowed.
2) Putting all electronics away before bed is insane. Like this world is ruled by technology and focusing on your phone or any other electronic devices is an excellent way to save your marriage because it will help you avoid arguments and you can avoid your spouse personal space.
3) Now I do believe you should praise your spouse but keep your prayer in secret. Don’t tell your spouse that you are praying for her.
4) Only do something nice for your spouse if you have to because you don’t want your spouse to get use to this and take advantage of you.
5) It’s best not watch sports with your spouse because your spouse may ask too many questions about the players amd it will annoy the fuck out of you.
6) Never after sleep naked. Always slepp with your clothes on. You should only be naked in the shower alone.
7) Day dates are not needed because the dates are only for relationships only. Plus in the day time, that’s the time for the elderly people to enjoy themselves in public. Don’t be selfish, let the elderly have their fun now and you will have your time when you reach 70.
8) Romantic comedy are good but only watch romantic comedy movies with your friends, not your spouse.
9) Sending flirty text is so junior like that’s immature. If you love your spouse that much, then pray for your spouse and give then personal space.
10) The only time you need to text your spouse is if it’s an family emergency. If your apouse text you just to see how u doing, politely ignore and leave your spouse on read.
11) If your spouse comes to your job unexpected or suprise you at a public place anywhere without letting you know, I would strongly suggest asking your spouse for a divorce.
My email address is : email@example.com
Send me a message if your marriage need saving.
I saved over 100 marriages within the last 2 years.
If you would like to reach out to me, please leave your social media in the comment section, and I will reach out to you.
I will share my website eventually to let you know about the package deals we offer marriage couples and it includes a weekend trip to the Bahamas for the summer of 2019.
On my previous post, A blogger commented on my post and gave me this blog topic to write about. I thought this was a good topic to write about. I am grateful for her comment and if she happens to read this, I just want to say thank you for reading my previous post and giving me this idea. This brief post is about how a man can get a good wife, how to make himself more attractive to attract a good woman to marry, and things to consider before he marries a good woman. Before choosing a wife, men must understand that women are different. The way you talk and act around your friends, will not be the same way you talk and act around your wife. Sometimes men focus on visual things such as sex and physical beauty. Now physical beauty and sex is somewhat important but that should not the highest pritiory when engaging in a long term relationship that could lead to marriage. So I’m going to list a few things to take into consideration before making your girlfriend become your wife. 1) Does she really love you? Actions speak louder than words. A good wife is going to accept you for who you are and she is not going to try and change your personality. Now there is no problem at all for a wife trying to get her husband to try out new things and be outgoing but at the same time, she should accept him and love him for who he is. 2) Is she educated? Now as far as education, she doesn’t have to have a PHD. Hell to be honest, she doesn’t need to have a bachelor’s degree but at least marry a woman that is versatile and can speak to you about various topics. Also want to marry a woman that has goals and ambition. Marry somebody that you can learn from. So another words even though I recommend a college degree, you don’t need a college degree to be successful and intelligent. 3) Does she have good upbringing? Before you marry your girlfriend, make sure she has manners. Don’t marry somebody that is rude and has a temper. When she is around her family, pay close attention to how she interacts with her family. She should be polite and respectful towards her parents. Also as well, pay close attention to how her family interacts with you as well because when you marry the woman of your dreams, in a way you are marrying her family because you are going to be around with her family as well. 4) Present yourself and be a leader? Be your own man and make mature decisions. Be responsible. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Don’t be oblivious towards your surroundings. A good woman that wants to be a good wife to a good husband wants to marry a man that makes her feels safe. A good woman don’t want to marry a little ass boy. A good woman want to marry a man that’s dominant and know how to take charge. Now I’m going to break down being dominant and being in charge. Being in charge don’t mean that you boss your wife around and treat her like a little girl. You don’t criticize or belittle your wife. You don’t ignore her opinions when you and your girlfriend are having a disagreement. Also a good husband should never have to tell his wife ” I’m the one in charge and I’m the head” because a real leader takes charge naturally and he does it in a healthy way. A man shall let his wife have her freedom, not treat her like a prisoner. A good man takes charge by protecting his lady and making her feel safe and appreciate her for supporting him. A good man should love and find joy providing for his wife but also make sure to marry a woman that is not afraid and also can provide as well.
I could of add more but I’ll end it here. If you want, you can comment below if you got annything to add.
I have a book coming in the spring called “How To Be A Good Husband”. I have worked hard writing this book and now I finally found a publishing agency that will accept my work and I am so happy right now. When you work hard and remain patient and don’t give up, good things will come.
My book entails 101 tips on what to do and what not to do in order to be a good husband but in this blog I will list 10 main points I focus on in book.
Tell your wife that sex is overrated and that sex should last no longer than 1 minute.
Let your wife know that good sex can break a marriage apart and that sex should feel like a chore.
Let your wife that going separate vacations is better than going on vacations together because separate vacations will strengthen the marriage
If your wife want a joint bank account, tell her “Hell Noooooooooooo!”
If your wife doesn’t want to work and rather stay home and be a house wife, divorce her ASAP. Never settle for a housewife.
If your wife has a problem with you watching porn, politely ask for a divorce.
During football and basketball season, tell your wife to buy sex toys because from August – June, you will be busy watching sports. July is the month for sexual intercourse(also tell your wife that sexual intercourse will always involve a condom, no unprotected sex ever).
Tell your wife that in public it’s best to avoid communication and only focus on the cell phones because the more you communicate, the more chances of arguments.
Tell your wife that french kissing is not allowed and only once a month you will give her a quick peck on the lips.
Tell your wife that it is best not to wear shorts or anything revealing in the house because it will encourage you to lust and lusting after your wife is inappropriate. For example, tell your wife that when she take a shower, she must take her clothes with her in the bathroom and change in the bathroom after she get out the shower. Also, when your wife goes to bed, tell her that she must wear pajamas at all times and she can not sleep in the bed wearing bra and panties, boy shorts and leggings. In fact I would suggest sleeping in separate beds but that’s up to you.
Please hit the like button and comment below if you want me to provide more tips on how to save your marriage. Next month, I will be a special guest on the Oprah show on March 2 at 11Am. Make sure you tune in.
Please read How To Save Your Marriage? and How To Be A Better Husband for real marriage advice. Statics shows that 1 out of every 2 marriages end in divorce. I plan on writing a book about saving your marriage and being a better husband. In the bible, it says the man has to listen to his wife and love her. But sometimes we as men lose sight of that so below I will list a few things that can help your marriage prosper.
When having sex with your wife, only worry about your own orgasm if you as a man pay the mortgage.
As a husband, never be the first to apologize.
When your wife tells you I love you, don’t say it back in return because she already knows how you feel.
If you and your wife get into an argument, if you are paying the mortgage then tell her she has to sleep on the couch.
If your wife won’t have sex with you, then don’t get mad, just watch porn.
If your wife want you to kiss her, tell her no and kiss her on the cheek.
Tell your wife that holding hands is not necessary and that’s only in the dating stage.
Tell your wife that during basketball finals that she can go cheat because during NBA finals you will be only focusing on basketball.
As a man if you have problems obtaining an erection and your wife think you should see help, tell her no and that sex is no longer a priority.
Tell your wife that you love her but your mother comes first since your mother gave you birth.
Tell your wife that celebrating anniversaries are overrated and you rather stay home and save money.
Tell your wife that she don’t have to submit and that you rather have her lead the household.
Tell your wife to not dress to impress you as a husband and recommend her not to wear tight clothing.
Tell your wife that her father comes 1st not matter what so tell her that if her father needs her, she is more than welcome to attend his needs.
Tell your wife that there is nothing wrong with being addicted to porn and that sex is overrated and it looks better on porn.
Tell your wife that its perfectly normal to check out other women and its perfectly normal. As long you don’t check out other women nothing wrong with checking out other women. In fact encourage her to check out other men
If your wife cheat and had sex with another man, to be honest as long as she wore a condom and did it in a hotel and did not give him head, this is absolutely fine and reward her with a vanilla shake.
Tell your wife that she is not allowed to moan during sex and that sex will be a maximum of five minutes
Tell your wife that it is disrespectful to receive blowjobs from her
Tell your wife that being honest destroys the marriage faster
Tell your wife that dedication is more important than passion so as long as you are loyal and dedicated to her, tell her that you don’t have to be romantic to her.
I just gave you a sample of my book that I plan to publish in January. The name of my book is “101 Ways To Save Your Marriage” Marriage is like chores, it is not suppose to be fun, it’s suppose to be a lot of work and something that has to get done.
Comment below if you think marriage is worth it or not?