Is it healthy to have a close friend as a Ex?

This post is a very short post.

 

Now before I get into today’s topic, I saw  good question on twitter. The question was “Ladies, if a dude had flowers sitting in the car for you on the first date. Would y’all say he’s doing too much?” Me personally as a man, I think flowers is not a terrible thing but I would wait until the third or fourth date. But for the women reading this question, comment below and tell what you think about this!

 

Now please read my last post What will My future Blogs Will Be About?. 

Now is it healthy to have a Ex as a close friend? 

 

Unless you have a child with your ex, I don’t see an good reason why a person would communicate with their Ex. I believe if somebody is still in contact with their ex, then they probably stilling fucking.

The top three reasons why I believe people still keep in contact : 

  1. They still love you
  2. You still love them
  3. You’re lonely

 

Just a few questions for you to think about!

  1. If you just got in a new relationship and your new partner is close friends with their ex, how would you feel?
  2. If your current partner was invited to dinner by their ex, and your current partner was willing to go to dinner with their ex, how would you respond?
  3. Have you ever kept in contact with your ex, while dating somebody new and did the current partner know that you was still in contact with your ex?
  4.  Is it possible to have a successful relationship with your new partner, if you just broke up with your ex?
  5. Besides the three reasons I listed above, why do you think people still keep in contact with their ex?
  6. What if you was friends with your ex first before ya got together, now after ya realized a relationship between ya isn’t the best option and ya just rather remain friends, would you expect your new partner to accept the fact that you are friends with your ex?

 

Pick at least 2 out of the six questions and comment below and if you have any questions, feel free to comment!

 

Also come and listen to my podcast “Spoken Word“.

 

What will My future Blogs Will Be About?

Questions On Dating/Relationships/Marriages

 

I was on Youtube and I recently discovered this channel in which a group of young people express their opinions on questions about relationships, dating, marriage, sex and among other things. Some of these questions definitely caught my attention and I believe these type of questions are things that should be discussed with your peers.   The name of the channel I’m talking about is “Krew Season. So if you are curious about this Youtube channel , just go to Youtube now and type in Krew Season.

So for my next five topics, I will be blogging about these five topics listed below:

 

 

  1. Is it healthy to have your Ex as a close friend?
  2. Do women prefer nice guys or assholes?
  3. Are men obligated to pay on the first date?
  4. Top 5 lies Women tell?
  5. Top 5 lies Men tell?

 

If if you get a chance, you should check out their youtube channel because they have a lot of interesting discussions that I believe most of us would be  interested in .

Should Women Pursue Men?

 Should Women Start Approaching Men?

 

 

The dating environment have changed drastically over the years. Just like technology, the speed of relationships advances at a fast pace as time is moving by every second of the day. On social media, I heard seen many men post on their social media accounts stating that they believe that women should pursue men that they are interested in or have an attraction for.

 

 

To be honest, I think women should approach a man that she in interested in, rather than waiting for him to wait for him to make the first move. I can’t speak for all men, but somebody like myself likes a woman with confidence. I think it’s very appealing when a women pursue for something that she wants. This demonstrates confidence and independence.  I will stop it here since I don’t want to be long winded so I have listed some questions at the end of the post for you to answer in my comment section because I am interested in hearing your opinion.

 

Questions

 

  1. What’s your opinion on women making the first move and approaching men?
  2. As far as women making the first move, does this make women look desperate?
  3. Why do you think most men prefer women to make the first move?
  4. If women was to approach men instead of wanting for men to make the first move, do you think women would actually date the men that they want, instead of responding to the men that want them?

 

 

 

Situationships

This poem is a fill in the blank type of poem. There are six words missing to complete this poem, let’s see if you can figure this out.

You said you don’t need a nigga to feed you lies,
What you just said was a goddamn lie.
I may sound harsh for trying to criticize,
but just try and understand my side.
Out of his plate, you choose to eat, you devoured what he feeds.
Last person you think about before you sleep
and he is the first person you think
about at sunrise.
You say you done with him until his dick rise, like the sunrise.
It’s alright don’t feel ashamed, your not to blame.
You paying his rent for some damn dick, its a shame.
Every other nigga that tried to spit game is a lame,
but this nigga right here, playing you like a board game.
You say your momma ain’t raise no fool, but that dick got you in 1) ______________?
Unwated Pregnancy got you looking like a 2)_________________.
Going back and starting over with him everytime he says 3)_____________.
His weak ass apologies, had you stuck like a 4)__________.
It’s sad you thought there was a connection
like winning in 5) _____________ with black pieces,
but he just broke your heart into pieces,
while you are crying on the table, waiting for the 6)________________

Below are a list of the six words that are needed to complete this poem.
Using these 6 words, comment below and tell me which word belongs in which blank to complete the poem. Also comment below and tell me, what each of these 6 words have in common.

operation, trouble, sorry, mouse trap, hungy hungry hippo, connect four.

How To Have A Successful First Date?(My method will guarantee a way to avoid a situationship.)

I want to thank all of you for supporting my post “,How To Save Your Marriage?“. I am writing a book and I would encourage you all to buy a copy of my book. Please click on the link to get a preview of the tips I provided about saving marriages.

In this post, I will be providing some of the best first date tips for men. I decided to write this because first dates are very nerve wrecking(especially for a guy that lacks confidence).

Image result for guarantee a second date

First Date Tips For Men:

  1. Lateness

Image result for lateness on a date

Make sure you show up late on the first date. Lateness is the number one way that will guarantee you a second date. Make sure you are at least 30 minutes late. Being on time makes you look like a square and showing up more than 2 minutes early is completely disrespectful.

2. Compliments

Image result for don't compliment your girl

Now you see this meme? This meme is on point. Do not compliment your date whatsoever. You date has received millions of compliments over the years. If you want to stand out and get that second date, the conversation must be serious at all times to let her know you are about business and do not flirt with her whatsoever.

3. Relationships

Image result for No relationships

At the first date tell your date that you don’t believe in relationships and that this country lives off the principle of freedom of privacy . This means that staying single until you die is the way of life like the circle of life in Lion King. Explain to your date that friendship last longer than relationships. Relationships are complicated and Marriage is suicide. Date for friendship and keep it at that so that way you can see other people and not have to worry about being tied down to one person.

4. Sex

Image result for No sex

Now this is for those of you that will not listen to number 3 and will decide to pursue a commitment anyway. For those of you that will listen and apply number 3 to your dating experience, skip to number 5. This don’t apply to you. Now for the rest of you that are hardheaded, this is your backup plan so don’t fuck this up. Lie to your new girlfriend and let her know that you are virgin. Tell her that you plan to wait until marriage. Tell her that no tongue kissing, caressing and holding hands will be allowed until marriage. Women prefer to wait until marriage to have sex and this will let your girlfriend know that you will respect her privacy. Remember that a good relationship is based on lies. When you tell the truth, the relationship will slowly get destroyed like a women’s vagina from having sex with a man with a lot of stamina.

I will upload part 2 in about 2 weeks. Please comment below and tell me if I should write a book. Please for those of you that follow me, please share this with your other fellow bloggers!

For Relationships/Marriages

Below I have three questions for everybody that’s in a relationship or married. The first 2 questions were asked by my girlfriend and I liked these thought provoking questions.

If you were single and had one shot left at love would you choose your Ex at least knowing who you’re dealing with or gamble and pick a “Next”, a person who could be better or worse than the last situation?

What are topics between us that you think would be difficult to bring up or talk about with each other? Us specifically or between couples?

If you just started dating somebody, is necessary to speak to your significant other on the phone everday? Also could you be in a relationship with somebody that rather text than speak on the phone?

Pick one question out of the three that caught your interest and comment below your answer!

How To Improve Our Relationship?

For the women that are in a committed relationship  that’s reading this, imagine your reaction to this poem if your boyfriend/husband send you this text message!

 

A confused man with plan.
As I stand, I’m a man
with mind of a little boy
who knows nothing about
seeking joy
and I wonder if you take heed
upon my voice.
Courage is uncertain
in my heart
So sometimes I wonder
Towards you am I deserving?
Emotions I have yet to impart.
Being Impecunious provides
spectacular dreams,
but yet dubious
because of low self esteem
But can you blame me?
Life is complex you see
so believe me for not trying
but I’m trying
to be understanding
in accepting my character
and personality.
But understand I’m not a character
in a urban fiction novel
so try not to be so hostile.
I make excuses because of
fear not laziness.
I admit my wrongs
but I’m not flawless
I was destined to commit sins
since I was born.
So understand
why I have to move on.
Emotionally satisfied
but mentally paralyzed.
Funny thing is I don’t have mixed emotions,
you was perfect but there is more to it
and hopefully later you’ll understand there is better man to have children with.
If I could play the time spent together in slow motion,
you see the dedication without passion.
I was loyal and unhappy.
Emotions in my heart were joyful
but it’s not simple.
Mentally I’m miserable, homesick, disgruntled, and pitiful
but nothing to do with you.
Everything I write for you is true.
I have no choice at the moment but to leave you displeased.
But 10 years from now, you will be pleased,
ecstatic, content, and this will be an paradisiac image of history.
I love you and you love me too.
I was told to find ways to improve the relationship
but the only solution is to leave instead of fixing it.
Last but not least
I apologize for this long text message.

What Was The Most Important Lesson You Learned From Your Previous Relationship?

This post is not a poem. My next poem posted will be on June 2.

I gained some new followers but if you have time please read

I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1)

and

I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

Some of you might have read those blogs but those are blogs about me opening up and expressing my emotions that I felt 3 years ago. One thing that important to me about blogging is for me to learn about other bloggers. I mostly post poetry but today, I will open up a little bit about my personal experience of mine.

 

 

Have you ever wonder to yourself

1) I am a good person with a good heart, why don’t people appreciate me?

2) Why do people take advantage of me?

3) Why are people so mean and cold hearted?

 

 

 

For years I have been asking myself these questions.

A few years back, during my first relationship, I broke up with my ex through a text message. I admit, I was a coward and it was a bitch move, but overall I was a good boyfriend and I thought I was looking out for the both of us. I fear that one day she was going to get pregnant since at the time I didn’t know how to use a condom. There were other reasons as well but that was the about 75% of the reason why I broke up with her.

So anyway long story short I tried to get back with her, but she wasn’t sure she was playing games. If you read the links I posted at the top, you get the whole story.

One thing that use to drive my crazy at the time was, my ex never gave me a second chance. She told me a lot about her past and the men she use to date. Based on what she told me, I was the only good boyfriend she ever had. All her ex’s weren’t great boyfriends but yeah they all had second chances. One in particular had numerous chances but yet I couldn’t get a second chance. You would have to read the two links I posted above to get the full story to understand why I was thinking like this

But regarding relationships, I learned that

  • you can’t compare yourself to significant other ex bf/gf.
  • I also learned that doing nice things for people does not guarantee an opportunity of happiness with that somebody.
  • Everybody failed relationship will prepare you for the next relationship
  • No matter how nice you are, people will always take advantage of you.
  • Doing nice thing for people will not change on how they feel about you

 

1) I am a good person with a good heart, why don’t people appreciate me?

2) Why do people take advantage of me?

3) Why are people so mean and cold hearted?

 

 

 

Are you struggling to find answers to these questions, comment below and tell how do you feel about these questions!

Also have you ever compared yourself to your significant other’s ex boyfriend/girlfriend, have you ever thought doing nice things for people will get people to like you or change how they feel about you, do you fear falling in love because of the pain from the previous relationship still haunts you?

Comment below your thoughts?

Tomorrow I will be posting a first date scenario similar to this one

What Do You Believe Is The Most Common Mistake Made On The 1st Date?

1)How much control over your life do you have? What makes you say that?

For those of you that don’t know me please read Who Am I. This post introduces me and explains why I started blogging

“How much control over your life do you have? What makes you say that?”

Has anyone ever thought about this question? This question is very interesting to me. I had to really sit back and sit for a minute. I wake every morning, I brush my teeth, take a shower, eat breakfast , and drive to work on my own free will without being forced. But have you ever heard of the phrase “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans!” so I ask myself again, do we really have much control over our lives? These are questions that I thought to myself

“Why do we have laws to follow?”

“Why do we die?”

“Why are babies aborted?”

“Why do we get eaten by most carnivores and omnivores ”?

“Why can’t we choose our parents at birth?”

“Why does racism exist?”

Let break something down!

When your visitor at somebody’s house, how much control do you have in the house your visiting?

Well once you answered that question,answer this one!

Who does the Earth belong to?(another words,is this a man’s world or a woman’s world?)

Now tell me

How much control over your life do you have? What makes you say that?

Please comment below, I look forward to reading your answers

I will post my next blog on May 15

Btw I have some questions for you bloggers to answer because I was bored and I am curious to see your opinions lol

1) For those if you that are currently in a relationship, let’s say your significant other tells you that he/she wants to have sex everyday once ya get married, how would you respond?

2) For the women that have boyfriends, if  your boyfriend told that he believes that women should be head of the house hold, how would you respond?

3) For the men, if your wife told you that she rather you stay home and take care of the house and the kids, another words be a house husband, how would you feel?

4) For the women that are married, if your husband told you that he loves you but his mother comes first, how would you respond?

I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

I sure some of you have noticed  I have been posting a lot blogs for the last 3 days. For the month of December I plan to go all out with my blogs and I will be posting a lot of rel – eatable  content. Tomorrow  I will post a poem “Suicide thoughts” and it’s a deep topic to discuss. Now please for those of you that don’t know me, please click this link Who Am I? . It’s an autobiography of me to learn more about me so you can understand this story. Also please, please read I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1) before reading this blog. I hope you all enjoy.  This is a very, very long blog so I will understand if you get bored but I wanted to share my story because I know a lot of people been heart broken before and I like to break things down for you bloggers to picture what I went through. Also this is a very long blog, so if you don’t like reading long blogs you will get bored reading this.

April 2015

Next day is Sunday and I’m still thinking about the previous night. She text me “Good Morning” and I replied back but I wasn’t in the mood to communicate with her. Throughout the day she kept texting me and I just kept replying back but I wasn’t really feeling the vibe after what happened the previous night. After a while, she noticed that I wasn’t really in the mood so she asked me “Are you okay?” I replied back “I call you later” When she got off work, I called her and I asked “Do you still have feelings on me?” she was a little hesitant and said” On certain days I do, on certain days I’m not in the mood.” Now that I’m wiser looking back at it now, I should of just wished her luck and moved on, but you live and you learn. So anyway when she told me that, I asked her “Well what’s gonna happen between us in the future? She responded “I’m not sure” So I said “We can’t remain friends forever tho, either one day we will get back together or we will go our separate ways.” Now I don’t remember what her response was because this was like 3 years ago but I said what I said to her because I guess I was trying to put the pressure on her so she can really figure out what she wanna do. I felt like she got too comfortable with receiving relationship benefits on a friendship level. I also asked her over the phone why she didn’t want to kiss me and if she was uncomfortable and she told me “Oh no I was just tired and I wanted to go home.” I felt like she was bullshitting because even if you tired if you really into somebody even if your tired wouldn’t you still kiss that person?(just a question to think about)

                                                                     May 2015

Fast forward to May, me and this girl still are communicating but probably like 2 or 3 times a week. At this point I’m focus because I started working 2 jobs so I was busy everyday. At this point I started talking to other girls to get my mind off my ex because at this point I didn’t know what was going to happen between me and her. My ex and I would text about 2 or 3 times a week. I won’t lie I still had feelings for her. Now back in April when we saw the fast furious movie I did tell her we were going to see Avengers age of Ultron in May but after I tried to kiss her and she slammed the car door on my face I was like fuck that (for those that don’t know what happened when we saw fast furious go back to the top of this blog and click on the link and read the 1st part). So it was the beginning of May and we texting back and fourth. I mentioned I couldn’t wait to see the avengers movie. She said when do you plan to see it” I said maybe this weekend”
then I asked her “Do you plan to see it?” She said ” I thought we planned on seeing it together but I guess you don’t feel like driving to queens.” Lol I played it off and said ” Lol my fault I forgot you know I’m a old man I forget simple shit”. She called me an old man. I didn’t forget, I was playing it off because you see, this girl barely kissed me, and we haven’t had sex in months. Now me and her are just friends at this point so I wasn’t really chasing the sex but at this point I’m like if she comfortable enough to hang out with me, comfortable enough to her allow to pick from work, I even gave her money twice(now this was my fault because I volunteered to do this) but whenever I try to make a move or bring up my feelings she goes cold. So now I’m like you know what, I ain’t going out my way for her no more unless she gives it up. So later when I was in school, we was texting back and  fourth. Don’t remember how this started, but I said to her “You can’t say my name lol ” but we just joking. She said “Yes I can lol”. I said “You can’t say my name unless we having sex and I know you not trying to take it there” She put “Lmao but can still say your name”. I said “Lol why well are you going to have sex with me?” She said “No, but I can still say your name” I said “Alright fine, you can say my name while having sex with another guy” She said “No that would be very rude of me to say that” I said, ” Well it’s very rude for you to say my name”, I don’t remember her response but after I left class I gave her a call. I decided that either we get back together or I go my separate way.  So called her and told that. I asked her if she wanted to work things out and get back together. She said she wasn’t sure so I told I will give you 2 weeks to think about it.  The following week she got the nerve to ask me for a favor,something to do with her car. I made up an excuse though, I didn’t do it. Some other things happen during the month of May but I can’t remember everything because it’s been so long. This took place over two years ago.

                                                                June 2015

So now we fast forward to June. Both of our birthdays were in June. Between May and June we barely spoke. I was on the verge of just cutting her off. At this point, I still had feelings but I was starting to get use to not hearing from her. I felt like I started healing. I felt like I was getting stronger or at least I thought I was. So anyway it was  the middle of June  and it was her birthday. It was 9AM and I was contemplating on rather or not if I should text her “Happy Birthday”. So after 10 minutes of being in deep thought, I decided to text her “Happy Birthday” and she said “Thank you!”. From that day until June 22, we slowly started communicating here and there but not often. So now fast forward to about 4 or 5 days later this girl texted me ” You okay?”. Once in a blue moon she would text me this if we haven’t spoke in a while. So anyway, I texted her” I alright wbu?” So she “I’m good” I said” Is there anything you wanna talk about?” She said” Are you seeing new friend?” I said” New friend? do you mean if  I’m dating somebody new?” She said “Yes!” I said “No, but why did you ask me that?” She said “No reason” I said” for real stop playing why you asked me that?” She said” I just want to see you found someone to replace me that’s all”. Now I  don’t know why I said this looking back at this now but my response was” Nah, nobody would ever take your place”.
She responded” Aww 😚😚
So she asked me” How is work coming along?”
I said “I’m just busy you know staying focus working two jobs?” She said ” That’s a lot, but if we was to get back together, how would you have the time?” I said”Good question, but I can make time.” Now I was just thinking to myself maybe she does want to get back together but I still was on my guard because I still didn’t trust her. I somewhat had feelings for her still, but I was healing little by little.  So fast forward to June 22, she texted me ” How you doing?” I said” I’m good!”  We was going back and fourth and she I told her that my supervisor was letting me leave work early. She said” Why?” I said “because it’s my birthday” She said “Omg I’m so sorry Happy Birthday!”  I’m just like “lol thank you”. One minute later, she gave me a call and said she apologizes for forgetting my birthday then she said let’s hang out. I said I’ll let you know. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. So  I asked a co-worker for advice. The co-worker said I should let her take me out for my birthday. So I took his advice(looking back now I should just went with my instincts instead of taking this advice)

                                                                   July 2015

For those of you reading this, if you don’t like what your hearing and if you feel like this is a fucked story then I wouldn’t recommend reading the rest of this story because it does get worst. So now it’s July and I wanted go to a buffet. I picked her up and we went to the buffet. I swear I was not trying to make a move or anything I just wanted to be a simple date that’s all. So we at the buffet, and we are talking. She seemed really excited to see me. Around this time, I was listening to K love trying to change my ways and become more positive. So anyway, I can’t lie, my feelings started coming back, she seemed really excited to see me, plus she just got her license so I was excited for her. She wanted to register for college (now what I am about to say was so foolish, so stupid, so navie) and she owed the school 1000 dollars.  I was working two jobs, I had money, plus I was listening K love radio station, so I was feeling positive and I felt like God was looking out for me. I love helping people so I offer to help her pay for college and I told her she only have to pay me half back by December. She really appreciated it. So after the buffet I was planning to take her home, but  she said she wasn’t in a rush to go home. We decided to go to the mall to pass time. To my surprise, she started holding my hand while in the mall. Now that’s what got me because we haven’t done that in months.  Now think about this, 3 weeks prior, she asked me if I was dating anybody else, if we got back together how would you have the time,  and she started holding my hand, now wouldn’t this lead you on?  So we head back to the car and I was feeling the moment and I tried kissing her. She started pulling back harder. So I’m thinking like alright she just playing hard to get. It’s been a while since like months since  I got close with a female and I feel like this was a good opportunity. This time I didn’t care I was coming on to her. But when I got closer the second time, she said “I  don’t want to get turned on , it’s been a month since I been turned on” I paused for a second because I’m like what the fuck that got to do with me and why you telling that. So I asked her “You had sex a month ago?”  she said “Yes”. Let’s think about this, all along for months I made effort to show her that I care, I gave her money like twice, picked her up from work, went to church with her family, contacted her on a daily, never pressured her for sex up until this point, and she fucked someone else like wow. I was shocked because I let my guard down. In the back of my mind since April I had a feeling she was messing with another guy. I knew it and I tried my hardest to move on but she kept leading me on and I tried so hard to give her the benefit of the doubt. Now I can’t remember what my response was, but I drove her home in silence. I went home pissed of. For the men that’s reading this, I’m sure you can understand how I felt.  So anyway she texted me “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get you upset” I called her and told I think it’s best we don’t talk for a while.  I couldn’t even go to sleep that night. Every day I kept thinking and thinking about this bullshit. I couldn’t focus at work , I couldn’t focus at school , I just kept replaying this shit in my head. I could not let it go.  So I went to God and I prayed. I too realized  that back in October I broke up with her through a text message and I will briefly explain that at the end of this blog. So I prayed and I talked to my mom and she started praying for me. After about a week , I decided to text and ask her why she did what she did?(I know I should of just left her alone) When you love somebody it’s very hard to move on. In fact, when the person you love breaks your heart, you blame yourself and that’s what  I did. Now I can’t remember everything but since I was trying so hard to forgive her, praying to God still,  I decided to forgive her and I texted whatever happened on my birthday let’s leave it in the past and just move on. Now at this point I wasn’t trying to get back with her anymore, but I thought at least we can be civil and move on. The reason why I blamed myself because sometimes I feel like I overthink a lot of things and I create situations and problems  in my head worrying about every single thing and I was trying hard to change that at that time. So I figure maybe I’m just thinking too hard and I should just let this go. So anyway, after I texted her that, she told me thank you. So we started talking a little and I’m slowly letting go what happened then she got the nerve to text me ” You still going to lend me the money?” In my head I’m like you gotta be fucking serious. I’m like what the hell. I should of cursed her ass out. I responded “I don’t know I will think about”. I didn’t plan on lending her money. I thought about it and  I asked myself, why should I lend her money?

Before I continue with the story, I will briefly explain something real quick so you can understand my though process at this time. I apologize for this long blog, but I am trying hard to break everything down so you can understand this. I am going to be completely honest and this is not easy for me to admit this but I think it’s important for you to know this. When me and this girl got together, this was my first relationship and I was inexperienced in all areas. I repeat, I was inexperienced in all areas. So we got together and I was embarrassed by my inexperience and I felt like I couldn’t keep her with her. I had problems staying hard. Truth was I never admitted to her, but I didn’t know how to put on a condom. So I couldn’t maintain an erection. I was extremely embarrassed. So I decided to go unprotected. Still couldn’t keep it up. This shit was in my head all throughout the day. Since I was inexperienced, I use to compare myself to other guys. I was felt like she was going to leave me because of that.  I went to urologist and he gave me cialis and it worked for me. Since I didn’t know how to put on condoms, I just went unprotected. I got addicted to having sex unprotected and I hated condoms. So anyway there was guy she use to date before me and I thought she still had feelings for him while she was with me. Let’s just say because of my lack of experience was the reason why I felt like she still had feelings for the previous guy before I came into the picture. There’s a lot more to say but I feel like I probably already gave you guys a headache so I will leave it here.

 

So back where I left off with the story,  I was thinking about lending her the money but then I thought to myself, what if the guy had sex with was a from the past? Next day, I texted and first thing I asked her was “If I lend you money, will you promise me to pay me back in December?” She said “Yes” Then I asked her ” Remember when you told me you had sex a month ago, was that guy you had sex with a new guy you just met or a guy from your past?  She said” Someone from the past” When I heard that damn, I can’t describe how painful that felt.  The reason why it felt painful because here I am, nice, respectful gentleman, doing everything in my power to be there for this girl and yet she fucking somebody from the past when she clearly tells me that all the guys from her past were trash. W got into an argument and she told me ” I don’t know why you making a big deal, it’s my life and I wasn’t even dating the guy, it was just a fling thing.” I wanted to punch her in the fucking face.  I can’t lie, I went to the bathroom I called my mom and I was in tears.

 

 

This experience changed me. To this day I haven’t been back to church ever since. I stopped listening to K love, I lost respect for women. I was hurt for months until I went to the strip club and I just started paying for sex. Real talk. Believe it or not , the strip club was my healing factor and I was watching porn like crazy. What happened was strip clubs and porn desensitized my mind. I didn’t trust any girls. I only wanted strippers but I wore a condom though I didn’t smash a stripper raw, I ‘m not that crazy. I realize that strippers make bad decisions but they are friendly people that accept you for who you are. A few of them I was getting to know them and I realized that they have a lot potential to be great. Now some people judge strippers and think they are stupid hoes, let me tell you something, strippers make poor decisions but they are warm hearted people(most not all) trying to earn a living and even though they caught a lot of bodies, they will make sure their clients use to protection because they want to catch nothing. A lot of these girls out here getting pregnant fucking every nigga raw, they ain’t no better than the strippers. But eventually I did get bored with the strip club but it did help me though.  As time move on, I started to talk to other females and I realized I had more in common with other females than my ex.  I realized my ex wasn’t for me. This was all a learning experience and you know what, I thank her for breaking my heart. She taught me a lot and I forgive her now. If we was still together I would eventually been miserable. I accept myself for who I am and that I am just an over thinker. Not giving a fuck healed me. Now if I don’t get hard in the bedroom, I don’t give a fuck, if a girl gets upset and think I’m lame then go fuck another nigga it don’t bother me. I realized that being single was the best decision ever. Someone on twitter use to tweet everyday ” I’m glad that I can wake up and not get cheated on” lol I don’t know why but that’s funny to me. I started saying that lol. Now for women reading this, I know there are some good women out there I know,so I didn’t take my frustration out on all women but some of you are fucked up, just being honest. Another lesson I learn is you can’t always trust a christian that lives by the bible day in and day out(no offensive). Some Christians are good people so I’m not placing all Christians in this category, but be careful because some of them will hurt you in the worst. Some of them will just receive from you and will not give you anything in return. I respect church members and it’s a great honor to see them worship God but the one thing that use to annoy me with them was they are so nosy. Like they would always try everything in their power to  try to get me involved in the church activities , they don’t accept no for an answer. For example, they say, “come to the Friday night service, you said you don’t work on Fridays you not doing nothing so come on down” it’s annoying when they do that because it’s like they trying to trap me into coming but all this does is push me away further and further. Like I said I wasn’t perfect because I broke up with my ex through a text message so I’m not trying to appear innocent.  If you would like to hear more about why I broke up with my ex, through a text message and the events take took place then comment below. If you read this long blog from start to finish appreciate you because this took a lot of thinking to write this. I love relating to people that been heart broken because I know how it feels.   I heard this in church once

 

“We all have gotten hurt by somebody and we all will hurt somebody”