Death Tried To Follow But Couldn’t Keep Up

My mind is desolate
my world is dark as its ever been.
It feels like death follows me.
I tried to remain nowhere to be seen,
but I’m being stalked to death
by death.
He knows the size and shape of shadow
and he didn’t use a measuring tape.
Should I dig my own grave and drift to other side?
Is it time to end my life, should I commit suicide?
Jump off NYC buildings, shoot full metal jackets, drinking bleach, or starve myself to death
before I become next.
I don’t run away, I refuse to get chased
but I’m too arrogant to get slayed
by deaths name
so should I put myself in harms way
by my own hands, I think this too myself
while drinking straight liquor without a chase.
Forget the precious creation of my face, I’m running out of time and death
just jumped ahead to second place from eight place.
Death shall not win my race, I will always be first place.
This is my race, I created the track, death just runs on it.

Do people really mean it when they say “Take As Long As You Want”?

“Take as long as you want”,

Hmm is this statement overrated?

Even the strongest lungs aren’t perfect.

I know that has nothing to do with this,

but think about it for a minute.

Let your conscience visit for a second

and listen.

When you say “Take as long as you want”

do you really mean it?

Does patience exist forever or does it

began to vanish?

It’s hard to abandon the ones you love

or the ones that mean well and giving it

eveything they got, but

what if it never get better?

Are u going to help that person forever?

Are you going to stay around that person forever?

Do you know anything on this planet that last forever?

Well have you ever written a love letter?

After you written that love letter did you get rejected after?

Your heart just experinced a disaster.

You gave everything you got but it still didn’t get better.

Here are some provided examples:

Imagine as a woman being with a man that can’t obtain an erection.

Its the beginning of a relationship, he gets embrassed, but you work with him to fix.

But it’s almost 2 years and still don’t notice a difference.

Its still the same shit.

He visited a urologist, received cialis, but erections are still non-existent.

So in this case 2 years later, would you still have patience even though you love him?

Would you reminisce the amazing sexual intercourse from you exes?

Would start to wish that your current boyfriend had the confidence like your ex boyfriend?

Your ex-boyfriend calls you, would you reject his call or would you answer it?

Vice versa as man being with a woman that want to pratice abstinence.

She necessarily don’t want to wait before marriage, but she want you to be patient

with sex

since she had really bad experiences in her previous relationships.

Its been 3 years, you know her deepest secrets, she tell you everything about her personal busniess, you seen her in her weakest moments, you wiped the tears,

you always tell her how much you care,

ya hold hands in public, you treat her like a queen in private, you showed her that in this world, they are true gentleman, and no matter how much lust dwells within the hemispheres of your brain, you continue to remain patient agaian and again.

Hell, you barely even had the chance to caress her, and you know sex is something you been wanting to have with her, so you finally approach the idea of sex with her, telling here that you are ready take it to the next level, but she says she still don’t feel comfortable with you to take it to the bedroom, and she need more time.

You say its okay I understand , no problem that’s fine.

But is it really fine or are you lying?

Are you willing to wait 3 more years?

Are you willing to wait 2 more years?

Is this really fair?

Would you abandon the one you love even though you care?

Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself is this true.

If you gave it everything you got but still wasn’t getting it, would you want that person trying help you abandon you?

Do you know what it feels like to have somebody give up on you?

Questions:

After reading this poem, I provided some questions for you to think about:

1) How do you truly know that you are ready to have sex with your signficant other? Is being comfortable a good enough reason to have sex or is there more to it?

2) If you boyfriend you have been with for a while, is having a hard time obtaining an erection and he tried everything from visiting the urologist and taking medications but nothing is working, could this affect your relationship?

3) Does being too patient get you hurt in the long run?

4) What is one thing no matter how hard you try that you just couldn’t accomplish?

5) Does hardwork really pay off?

Pick two out of fivethe questions that caught your interest the most and comment below?

Do You Feel Unwanted

Skating on thin ice, taking a risk on my life.

Confused like the identity of a dyke.

Am I afraid like the 40 year virgin trying to get laid?

I complain about wanting more money, but do I want to get paid?

I complain about reckless people, but do I really want to play it safe?

I tell myself I am going to make it, but will my talent go to waste?

It’s me aginst the world and suicide is tempting like being freaky to a Tupac temeptations song,

but unlike Paul, these negative thoughts I am learning to ignore

by listening to a gospel song

even though the devil finds his way in the church.

Should the church doors be locked at all times

since the demons are at work?

With the good, comes the bad, like a young lady with a pretty face and no ass,

or a nice ass with a unbeautiful face?

But am I sinning again for judging something I didn’t create?

How can I place criticism on something I didn’t help build or help create?

Well other people do it all the time so I should follow the crowd?

Is that a good reason why I should smoke loud?

Is that good reason why I should continue pulling down her panties underneath her night gown

knowing that I don’t plan to wear a glove when peoples intentions is brutally cold like russia during WW2.

An STD do comes unexpectedly like a dream just came true.

Back and fourth thinking what should I do?

The demons are active like volcanoes and

are on the loose

and I’m screaming like simba when witnessing

his dad slipping

when scar was the one that let his grip loose.

Never trust a hand that didn’t raise you or feed you.

Everbody in this world don’t have a mind that’s 1+1 = 2.

We are all suppose to be created equal, but that line in the constitution is deceitful.

Racism is alive and its a disgiuse between the eyes.

Sexism against girlfriends and wives, so protection is deprived.

Young ladies in this world are the remainders

since satan divides.

Men only want to be fruitful, but some

unintentionally multiply

but when a fetus comes to life, a man is subtracted, stress and anger is added,

famililes is now divided.

Life blows like a sega genesis cartridge.

Marriage almost damn near facing extinction

and its hard to make a relationship work

when your partner doesn’t have what it takes to make it work.

So when your birthday comes up, ever think to yourself, was you an unwanted birth?

My Love Is Everlasting

I can save your soul
and love you 1000 ways
I adore you like gold
You’ll forever dwell in 1st place
You are my trophy
and I have made space
Inside my heart
which is home
where I provide space
for your precious face
which imitates a diamond
shine like police sirens.
A sweet taste
of your breast
on my tounge
Your the Colgate
that santazies
my gums
and keep me healthy
like plums.
Our differences mix
together well
like rum
in apple cider.
Splendid
like shells
on the beach
when united together.
No matter the weather
Whether
A dark storm or bright sunlight
its always a bright day
and I love the smile on your face.
and I plan to keep it that way.
I look tough but my love for you
is more than enough.
I love you more than life.
I will love you until the day I die.
Like a plane in the sky,
I feel high.
Relaxed and feel like I’m
in a different zone, different world
but my lungs is healthy
heart full of love.
I provide entertainment and
you love to watch me
like a sitcom.

My First Open Mic Experience

Last year in June 24, 2018, I went to an poetry open mic night at the bowery club in NYC to recite “Should I Go To An Open Mic“. It was such a lovely and yet nerve wrecking experience. I have always hated public speaking(especially when my family is around) but I had a few reasons why I decided to overcome my fear and go to the bowery club

Reasons I decided to overcome my fear

1) I was procrastinating for 2 years and being lazy

2) The weekend of June 24 was birthday weekend

3) I need to branch out more and let people hear my poems.

Reasons Why I Was Nervous

1) It was my first time ever performing at an open mic event and I had doubts I wouldn’t be good enough

2) My girlfriend volunteered to come with me to show support and I really wanted to go alone lol.

How I felt After I recited my poem

1) I felt like a super standing when I got a big round of applause from everbody

2) I realized that performing at an open mic event is nothing to be nerevous about.

3) I became more motivated to improve my writing skilss as a poet.

Moral of this post is to let everbody reading this to know that being nervous is nomral. It’s normal to to have doubts. Sometimes we might procrastinate. Sometimes we might make excuses to get out of things. Nobody is perfect but if you really have a dream, don’t nobody stop you from achieving it. Fight your negative thinking and don’t be afraid to fail because being afraid to fail and living in fear could make you regretful for missing out on an life time opportunity.

To Tiffanee:

I don’t know if you will ever read this or not, but I just want to say thank you coming with me to my first open mic experience and supporting me. I thank you for celebrating my birthday last year and being in the crowd, being my biggest cheerleader. Ever since I met you, you always believed in me and saw the best in me. I am here to let you know that because of you I am working harder than ever to accomplish all my dreams and be a provider for you. I love you so much 😁😁

True Love Is Scarfice

Check out this post  ” A heart for God”   because this post is powerful and it encouraged me to write this poem in the comment section.

 

Being romantic and doing nice things can be a disguise
since it doesn’t guarantee love all the time.
But it can be all lies disguising negative energy as positive energy.
When we lack money or have empty bellies,
we fall victim to bullies that work for the serpent
that use tactics to kill you with kindness.
They shine a light when you are living in darkness.
But the problem is the light is to bright
you have to cover your eyes and now walking blind.
They telling you and promising you all types of romantic surprises
telling you want you wanna hear.
Act friendly and sometimes volunteer
a helping hand when its to their benefits
but turn into a completely different person
when scarfices arises then promises turn into excuses.
Left you to dry struggling.
Now feel abandoned.
Tears are leaking, heart is broken,
for feeling stupid
for following bullies that follow the serpent.
If you are reading this and this poem is relatable to you
read this post and know that this was meant for you
because nobody loves you more than Jesus
So before you follow a stranger you don’t know,
think about the consequences and always pray to Jesus
because Jesus made a scarfice
that no human will ever have the strength to make.
Promises break and humans constantly demonstrate their true ways
when they are face with a sacrifice that they don’t want to make.
So moral of this is, Jesus is the way
to paradise.
Jesus love you so much that if you follow him
he will provide eternal life.
So another words this is relatable to your life
because love is more than romance
true love is about sacrifice.

 

Be sure to catch tomorrows post “I am in Love With My Seductive Next Door Neighbor(Part 2)” but please please read  Part 1

After tomorrow , it might be awhile until I upload my next post so I will be taking a short break after tomorrow so after tomorrow I will see you guys in

 

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April 

Love Lost The War

On Thursday, I will be uploading part 2 of a story that  I am writing. Click the link below to read part 1

I Am In Love With My Seductive Next Door Neighbor (Part 1)

 

The scar on my heart is a permanent marker that don’t erase.
Emotions are flies, flying all over the damn place.
Tears was dripping down my face like wet grapes.
Forced to keep quiet like a mouth covered with duck tape.
Forced to keep quiet like a new inmate that just got raped.
A heartbreak gave me hallucinations like my weed was laced.
Like prison food, nasty like vomit but forced myself to swallow the taste.
Ashamed of my reflection, but my stiff neck force me to stare straight
to remind me of the disappointment look on my face.
A dream I that chased was a waste like leftover food when I couldn’t finish the plate.
I was frightened like the dog next door finally jumped over the gate.
Hesitant at first like I’m driving in a blizzard with bad brakes
and now regret it because it was an accident
like a rear in collision on the southern state.
Never found the antidote so negative energy surrounds my space.
No more happy days, so I no longer say grace
since my appetite escaped
my belly and you can see my face lost it’s weight
like 40 year old pregnant woman lost her shape
by gaining weight when comparing her modern pictures
to her high school days.
From love letters and heart shapes to boxes and crates.
Crying in silence with both hands covering my face
for reminiscing the times I held the left hand on romantic dates.

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Discussion Questions 

 

1. How long does it take to heal from a broken heart?

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2. How do you know when your heartbroken?

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3. Do you think forgiving someone that broke your heart will make you live longer?

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4. Do you think more people in this world would have broken hearts if everybody told truth and spoke what was on their mind and did not hold back any secrets?

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Comment below on your opinion of the four questions I provided?

 

 

 

 

 

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