This Never Happened

Being lonely at times
helps me escape reality in my mind.
Imagine happiness to escape the pain.
Wishing I was a man with fame
instead of being a lame.
Swear at times my mind is a game
playing tricks like a prostitute being a side chick to a pimp.
Remembering all the presents for Christmas but in reality never got shit.
Jealous  of the other kids made me sick to the point wishing I was different.
Reminisce the negative but replace it with the positive.
The positive  is false but that’s what I choose to acknowledge.
Blame myself for not having both parents
but yet I see mom and dad hugging and loving me as if I am the one and only.
Beautiful fairy tale  like a Walt Disney movie.
Walking home from school hearing gunshots  on the block
refuse to listen and instead picturing me and my friends with waterguns.
Selling bricks  hittin licks for me is the hustle to subdue my struggles to make college affordable.
But instead picture myself filling out FAFSA forms to make college affordable.
Dreaming  of making my unborn child proud saying to him  ” I did this for you”
Tears come down as my unborn child reached his rest day before his birthday.
I picture my new friend as my best man in my wedding ceremony
When I really walked in on him and my gf in my house having sex and I pull out my 9mm  aiming at them  wishing in my mind this never happened.

Are You A Slave To Loyalty?

Have you ever been loyal to somebody that betrayed you and stab you in the back over and over?
Have you ever been in a situation where you realized moving on was harder than you thought?
Have you ever prayed that the person that treated you like dirt, would change?
Were you disappointed when the person made false promises on how they would change but they just remain the same?
Ever been hurt so bad that you regret falling in love in the 1st place?
Ever cried yourself to sleep and the tears kept pouring down your face?
Last but not least, have you ever thought about committing suicide becuase you thought suicide would help the pain escape?

Learn to let go
when people act cold.
Not everyone has a pure soul
and heart.
Don’t hold on when
your broken.
Holding on is
sometimes poisioned.
They take your heart
and destroy it
and they can’t rebuild.
Like Toysrus
going bankrupt
but the kids are still living
So why when people go corrupted
the pain your still holding
and suffering?
Same thoughts keep rethinking.
Worrying yourself to death
becuase you think
the painful memories is all you have left.
Loyalty is going to lead you to death
and become a rat trap
that snaps your neck.
Waiting for others to change
but you are the one
that have to change
Begging them to stay
like a begger asking
for spare change
Go to work
Go the gym
Go to church
Go make new friends.
People come and go
for a reason.
Some are only meant
for a season.
You are not nobody’s slave
So use the time and space
to help create
an opportunity
to move forward.
Slavery is in the past
Staying loyal to
the wrong one
is ass backwards.
Mental slavery
have us corrupted
and people behaviors
sometimes make
me disgusted.
Here’s a question
and think it
Why are we loyal to
the ones that don’t
give a fuck about us
and they turn their back
on us?
Now why do we ignore
the ones that are are loyal
to us and use  the ones
that would give the world
to us?