Would You Want Somebody To Read Your Autobiography?

“If you don’t learn to write your own life story, someone else will write it for you”

This quote is remarkable to someone like myself trying to increase my wealth.

I took heed of the many voices that led to many choices. Staying patient, trying to remain focus The accolades to celebrate the daily grind, I know I deserve it, but yet still not where I want to be.

“Some dreams stay dreams, some dreams stay true.” The line has been attached in my mind since the age of sixteen.

When I was a teen, I had dreams of accomplishing everything, Losing my virginity at 17, Having a car at 17, moving out going away to college at 18, having a bachelor’s degree at 21, going to clubs and partying at 21.

At 17, I graduated high school a virgin, damn near didn’t lose my virginity until 21.

At 18, I had poor SAT scores plus I was a B- student, so ending up going to a community college.

At 21, I was attending farmingdale state college while contemplating becoming a police officer which failed miserably due to failing the oral psychological test, plus I didn’t get my bachelors degree until 27 due to me switching careers at 23, but I did finally get a car which was four years overdue.

What happens is as you age, you come to the realization that Welcome to reality is not Welcome to Disneyland.

Everything does not happen according to plan.

Reality is allowing yourself to be the scapegoat and never forgiving yourself while in actuality the scapegoat is someone else utilizing demon tactics to paint you as one.

The end goal is to wake up the day before you die and hearing Michael saying that you won.

But how do you win, how do you become a winner? How do you get a good night sleep, knowing you don’t make enough money? How do you get a good night sleep when you have to make a choice rather spend money or stay hungry? How do you get a good night sleep when you try to find the root cause of why black lives don’t matter in America?

These are complicated questions and my answers to each don’t remain constant.

So when I hear “If you don’t learn to write your own life story, someone else will write it for you” this poem that I have written is the true definition.

I feel like Jesus starving after 40 days and the people that give advice are the devils, tempting and pressuring me to see the light.

I write this to let the ones know that are proud of me to don’t tell me how to feel.

This is a preview of an autobiography that shows the misery, but in 10 years when I turn 40, hopefully I will write an extension with something more positive.

My poetic disorder

My poems are bipolar
500 poems written and I’m diagnosed with a poetic disorder.
I can write something romantic one minute.
I can write something very frantic,
it makes my mother panic
the next minute.
My poem can make a turtle come out its shell
My poem can make a heart melt

My poem can break a woman down.
My poem can break a heart so bad,
can have a person go missing
like keys in the lost and found.
My poem demonstrates my sexual abilities
about me boasting about my stamina and agility.
My poem also describes why pussy is too easy
that sex is

barely pleasing.
I can be a tease.
I just do enough to make her knees weak and cum all over the sheets
just with my words.
My pants, they zipped up and that’s my word.
My poem describes misery is a devil that tricks me,
into thinking life was made to be easy.

Devil tactics are drastic.
Smoking weed is the habit
to just  be poetic.
But yet , I wrote at least 20 poems of how Jesus is my greatest weapon.
I wrote a poem about how teachers and pastors are the biggest hypocrites.
My mood swing in my poem goes up and down like a stock exchange

My poetic words taught me to take chances ,
when I have a shot close range.
But I’m a sniper rifle, so I don’t want a relationship unless its long distance.
My poem is a sniper, because when in deep thought, I can go for long distance
like a female pastor that’s long winded.

My poem is joyful like Nickelodeon shows, just PG rated
Or my poems can be more destructive than the coronavirus,
which is demonic rated.

 

 

Is My Life Making a Turning Point?

Harbor the strain

Ignore the pain

days are swallowed

like kids slurping spaghetti.

Never ready, but attack

life like Jason with a machete.

Life and death is every day

like a criminal in a locked cage.

Need space, but want comfort.

Despise the race, why didn’t she abort?

Lack faith, and the fight been fought.

I am  mentally a worn out,

for retaining everything I’ve been taught.

Forced myself to find a reason to be satisfied

like trying to make excuses for a sexless marriage.

Hide emotions and reasons

by running away like inexperienced men

making excuses for the lack of an erection.

I wish faith was a bottle of cialis

that I can devour once a day

to be excited for my future accomplishments.

My mind never sleeps, its been awake  for 10767.5 days.

To be man enough to admit that you have a attraction

is hard

and to not act upon it is even harder.

What you are attracted to does not always benefit you.

A long walk will always provide an answer,

since air is an provider.

Silence is the answer, so have more faith

by listening to what flows between your ears.

A conscious is our father in shrunk size

drawing the blueprint to open the eye

to see the joy in life.

 

 

 

 

 

A Deep Conversation With Myself

You told me write a love poem?

My self expression of love in a poem

I don’t love myself, loving myself is wrong.

I hate myself, and I been good at it for so long.

How can living in fear be so wrong

when it happens and appears so easily?

Misery is greedy and it hogs me

and don’t want to share my 200 pound body

with anybody that appears lovely and spiritually.

How can you tell me to write about something

that I can’t define my myself?

How can you tell me to write about something

that I can’t find myself?

I never heard of Jesus, but the devil strikes me below the belt.

That’s the pain that surronds my brain.

They say no pain no gain, well I feel the pain without the gain.

Why love myself if I have you to do it for me?

Why do you need to understand why I hate myself? I love to be lonely so I don’t need your company.

Fuck being love and spiritual, Fuck being romantic and hopeful, I only write poems

that are dark and painful.

Fuck being loved, I rather be feared.

Fear overrides love anytime anywhere.

The fear in me rises and the demons in me are hiding.

I am tired of disguising

Kindess is overrated, kindess made me desperate.

But I thank those that took adavtange of me,

becuase anger is my greastest weapon.

Well tell me this, if Jesus is the way

Why do more people go to hell than heaven?

What are the best types of poems to read?

1)dark/painful

2)hopeful/inspiring

3)Spiritual/Religious

4)Love/Romantic

My favorite poems to read and write are dark/painful,hopeful/inspiring,Spiritual/religious, then love/romance in that order

For those of you that like poetry, comment below and tell me what is your favorite type of poetry you enjoy reading and who is your favorite poet and why?

The Devil(Part 2)

Please read The Devil(Part 1) first before this.

 

Nobody hides pain better than

a man

that’s trying to do right.

Now, here I am

indirectly explaining

the pain

that harasses me

mentally and spiritually

which causes me

to overeat everything

that’s unhealthy.

When people read my dark

poetry

they usually ask

“What’s bothering you?”

I reply nothing.

I wish that was the truth

but the more I do right,

the more I lie.

The more I try to be outgoing,

the more I hide.

I fear what I don’t understand.

Why is so hard being a man?

Being a child was hard,

so being an adult in today’s generation

is mission impossible.

Is psychological integration

possible?

I found millions of demons

in my body

but I can’t personify them.

They have me condemned

to a life sentence of imprisonment.

Trying to remain strong

but my patience wearing weak.

The evil possessed in me

is unique.

What I learned is what feels like heaven

is really defined as demon.

It uses pretty looks as a form of sedation.

The fallen angels placed me on suicide watch.

They forcing me to stay alive which forces

my confidence to drop.

Is it better to rest in peace or to be alive being agonized?

I’ve heard that emotions are incredible gifts

that we have to let us know

what we are thinking.

So is this true for all the inmates serving a life sentence?

What is incredible about emotions?

What is a gift?

A present, a materialistic item inside a gifted wrapped box where an emotion hides.

But emotions don’t have an return policy.

This is a complex process and I don’t have the skill to deal with negative feelings.

Why do I feel so negative about today’s generation?

Vaginas stretching wide open easier to access.

Marriage became harder to request.

This is today’s world and we have no choice but to accept

thanks to the precious gift of an emotion.

The pleasure of something becomes so much of an addiction,

it’s blinds the morals of the righteous,

and the pleasure of doing something negative,

like smoking, drinking, gambling, sex, robbing, is the god we worship

but this is just finding happiness in wrong places.

When we listen to our emotions, we won’t always make the right choices.

We listen to those voices.

The voice that speaks in your mind to play a hoax on you

so you don’t use logic.

A temporary fix can lead to a lifetime of guilt and this kills

like weed killer in a vegetable garden.

As life on earth ages, it as well hardens the lives of humans.

Technology, Music, Television, is different in each generation.

Is change always a good thing?

When a change in your life occur

is that God’s blessing

or did the devil grabbed your face and took a swing?

I am a man in the clouds of heaven trying to fly with one broken wing.

Man I wish everything written in this poem was a dream.

Life Is Hard

Life in split second decisions.

A division of situations.

Life is not a broken toy

so never a replacement.

It’s only one shot, and we have

to take it.

We either aim and hit the target

or miss by a long shot.

A miss shot can kill us when

life shoots back.

Blood leaks from a wound

that defines mistakes and excuses.

It’s always easier said than done.

Dreams don’t lie, it can reveal a ton.

I made a mistake or did I?

I am more miserable or am I?

I believe in myself, or do I?

How to realize when you are control in your life?

A dream is a secret wish in a disguise.

Do you ever wish a dream can last forever

when real life feels like it got much colder?

Logic and emotions are like cats and dogs.

Mixed emotions is the fog that make it difficult to view.

A dream was a preview of tomorrow’s news.

A message of hidden clues, to tell you what to do.

We try our best, but fear doesn’t take a rest.

It disturbs someone’s rest as a distraction to steal peace.

Little by little, it takes a piece of your peace

until you got robbed of everything

that gave you peace

so now you become desperate just for a moment of peace,

it turns you into a selfish being.

Drugs and alcohol all of a sudden

becomes a great reason

to subdue the overthinking.

But yet it’s still a lose lose situation

because somebody’s heart could get broken

for the time wasting.

Unpurposely you are guilty until you don’t know who you are anymore and this feeling hurts.

Raised well but yet, felt like you committed every crime that exist, and yet you have a clean record.

Life Lessons

Consequences is the affect since sins are committed by the innocent.
I thought of this from lion king when scar wanted to devour the little rodent.
Sometimes those people think there’s no choice based on the lives they’re living in. Everyone alive is physically living,
but decisons will be foreced upon,
when living careless, or when lacking the characteristic of being dominant.
Being dominant is just an excuse for people to live reckless.
That trait has nothing to do with making a hit on others going from check list to check list.
But as well, you must understand this world is survival of the fittest.
Recklessness leads to accidents
but tell me this, what can you accomplish by being passive?
Being passive certainly is not the answer, no one would hear your voice.
But making sure you accomplish your dreams and that you stand out is all up to your choice.
Some dreams stay dreams, some dreams come true.
I always say pick the apple highest on the tree
since its healthiest for you
Couldn’t agree more with reaching high for what you want.
It’s better to work hard than just taking it as many have been taught.
Hard work is honored but only if working smart comes with hard work like a warranty plan.
Hard work is like a brand new laptop, but meaningless once it break and there is no warranty plan.
Now time is like wasted money thats spent over again
for not using intelligence when carrying out the main plan
Warranty implies when something is broken you have somewhere to turn.
With life there isn’t a back up plan and it’s unfortunate that people don’t understand that when they’ve been warned.
Life isn’t make believe nor is it a joke so hard work is the recipe to staying woke.
Well life itself is something that we only have once chance,
but each day, we go through situations
like a twlight zone
where some may be similar compared to others.
A unfamiliar situation can lead to a mistake that becomes a lesson, but that a situation can arise again like the sunrise,
so would it be foolish to make same mistake like last time?
Never a failure always a lesson.
This is true that a mistake can lead to an open door.
Stumbling into situations that one has never endured before.
Fool a person once, shame on them, fool a person twice and they may need to look into what’s going on with them.
It’s possible to make the same mistake twice but, it’s advised to use caution with ice.
Yes make sure to take the ice with you when approaching a open door and walk in slow.
But the door could suddenly slam in your face and make you feel low,
but don’t let that closed door stop you from achieving your ultimate goal.
Find a key, or lock pick that shit and get it open.
Do whatever you have to do to cross the finish line safely and preparedly.
You might open it but, what lies inside it you may be ready for it barely.
However what’s on the other side should never prevent you from going forward.
Take deep breaths and move onward.
To move forward, sometimes we go backwards to start over and I’m living proof.
So many choices to make in split seconds, so what do I choose?
Life lessons aren’t taught in school
because the way I learn is through fail examinations
and I learn the lesson after.
Every failed exam, have made me to adapt better and at a faster pace.
I will acheive all of my goals before gray hairs crowd around my face.

Now after reading this poem, If you had to think about your life, off the top of your head what was the two most important lessons that the elders should teach the youth?

For me, I say that young teenage males should be taught on how to put on a condom to prevent an unwanted pregnancy and young teens should also be taught that college is an excellent experience, but college alone will not guarantee a job after you graduate so therefore make connections, apply for internships while in school, and take certification exams that are required in your field of study.

Comment below and tell me what you think?

Also I want to say thank you to Tiffanee Charles for helping me write this poem.

The Best Advice To Love Your Lady

A conversation is the foundation

of seeking a woman’s attention.

Articulating sweet words

while she is listening.

Fresh scent of cologne

puts her in another zone.

Using your God given talent

to perform

a written poem or love song

about her physical shape and form,

plus promising you’ll never do her wrong.

The sound of the deep voice

is why she love to talk to you

on the phone.

Slow dance with her with the lights dim

while she rest her head on your chest and listen.

Listen to the heartbeat in between and she begins to fall in love

and feel grateful that your are living.

Giving her romance at random moments and she will love this.

She don’t want to be your best kept secret,

she want to be known she is with you in public,

so never be afraid to hold her hand in public

and always tell her that you love her in both

public and private

but she would rather perfer that you keep the relationship private

from social media since she perfer to not let social media control the commuincation exchanges.

Social media is a form of corruption if used for the wrong reason

so the best advice I can give is to pray to Jesus

for the communication to have strength like a gorilla.

Be unpredictable to catch her of guard to make the relationship exciting like a thriller.

This also works while you make love to her.

Take your time to hug her, kiss her, slightly caress her, perform oral sex on her, then finally make love to her.

Be dominant, but yet being gentle with her is the true definition of being a gentleman.

Don’t worry about making mistakes, no such thing as perfection.

So when disagreements happen, don’t solve it with you erection.

Let that be the bonus, because the solution is communication.

Does Success Define Happiness

Learn from the failure of others.
Don’t burn bridges if you
can’t swim in the river. 
Making connections increases the chance
of success.
Mistakes makes us great. 
Do whatever it takes 
to not repeat your elders mistakes.
We live life once.
Failure will run you over like a truck.
We all get dirty, but don’t stay dirty, clean off the mud!
Hard work is effort and taking responsibility of your actions defines you as a man.
At 21, you become a man, but at the age of 21, do you really feel like a man?
What  is your long term life plan?
Can you reach success without a plan?
Can you reach success without a backup plan?
Once you become successful and the bank account is more than plentiful, 
does life suddenly become paradisaical?

 

 

Situationships

This poem is a fill in the blank type of poem. There are six words missing to complete this poem, let’s see if you can figure this out.

You said you don’t need a nigga to feed you lies,
What you just said was a goddamn lie.
I may sound harsh for trying to criticize,
but just try and understand my side.
Out of his plate, you choose to eat, you devoured what he feeds.
Last person you think about before you sleep
and he is the first person you think
about at sunrise.
You say you done with him until his dick rise, like the sunrise.
It’s alright don’t feel ashamed, your not to blame.
You paying his rent for some damn dick, its a shame.
Every other nigga that tried to spit game is a lame,
but this nigga right here, playing you like a board game.
You say your momma ain’t raise no fool, but that dick got you in 1) ______________?
Unwated Pregnancy got you looking like a 2)_________________.
Going back and starting over with him everytime he says 3)_____________.
His weak ass apologies, had you stuck like a 4)__________.
It’s sad you thought there was a connection
like winning in 5) _____________ with black pieces,
but he just broke your heart into pieces,
while you are crying on the table, waiting for the 6)________________

Below are a list of the six words that are needed to complete this poem.
Using these 6 words, comment below and tell me which word belongs in which blank to complete the poem. Also comment below and tell me, what each of these 6 words have in common.

operation, trouble, sorry, mouse trap, hungy hungry hippo, connect four.