Please God

The side where light is absent.
The first demon of lust is present.
The second is hidden
like materialistic items inside
a box.
This demon is hidden like secrets
and clever like a fox.
A poison that can dismantle a focus
that’s meant for greatness.
Precious like Eve’s nakedness,
lose its value
like Adam’s place in the Garden of Eden.
Lust will place me in conflict
like R kelly in 96.
I’m on the downlow and no I’m
not homosexual.
I have a secret, that one day I will
open up to the world and expose it.
My mind is an overloaded circuit.
My choices is why my life
is like a circus.
My circuit breaker is tripping
like a clumsy kid with untied shoelaces.
My world is darkness with no emotions.
A heart of stone, like corrupted politicians
that abuse power and criticize those in poverty.
Lost like odyessus in the Odyssey.
Finding my way home damn near
almost an imaginary
This is year 2 of a 20 year journey.
A punishment that has my world blindness.
Fires, cannibal giants, seductive women, hinder
my path to reach heaven.
Why is life defined like learning lessons
in physics?
All I ask for is to reach home in peacefulness.
I just want skip life like an intelligent child
skipping 1st grade,
and make it to heaven.
God, if you can hear me, can you please, I’m not asking to be rich, or for a big house.
Can you please destroy the two demons
because they block the path of me
from achieving greatness.
I do not want to burn in hell with Satan.

Was Leaving God The Best Choice?

This poem express opposite opinions depending which way you read it. This was my first time I wrote a poem in reverse and it was a challenge. Please forgive me if this don’t make sense. I will edit this eventually.

I am a failure
and I reject the fact that
I am a savior.
I realize this may be a shock, but
me having potential of being a pastor,
is a lie.
Blessings is not guaranteed every hour
In 30 years, I will tell the youth that
I have my responsibilities straight because
The devil’s tactics
is more prominent than
praying to Jesus.
Jesus is at the top of the ladder,
but this is will not matter,
humans continue to kill each other.
Satan is unconquerable
and I do not believe that
God is almighty and powerful.
Since I don’t always make the best choice,
the best choice

was leaving God

Now re-read this poem from bottom to top(in reverse).

Who is your worst enemy?

Before you read this long poem, I have a few questions I want you to keep in mind while reading this poem:

1) Who is your worst enemy?

2) How did racism start?

3) Why do you think God created Lucifer?

4) They say the devil is a liar, but do you think there was ever a time the devil told the truth? (Think hard about this one and read the book of genesis)

5) Think about the person you love most(probably your kids), would you scarfice your own soul and go to hell so the person you love most can go to heaven or would you be selfish and let the person you love go to hell so you can go to heaven?

6) Since the Hebrews were slaves during the ancient Egypt times during Moses time, do you believe that this was the blueprint that poisoned the white man’s mind to view black people as property during early and mid 1800’s?

7) Since more souls go to hell than heaven, do you think the Devil’s power is underestimated?

Pick one of the seven questions and comment below on the answer to the question that really have your mind thinking deep!

“I am my own worst enemy”.
We have all heard that before.
People and emotions, drives us crazy.
Finding happiness, we can’t afford.
Excuses, we get tired of hearing it
until we come up with our own.
Treating people they way you want to be treated
is an overstatement
when you realize the devil’s power is underestimated.
Prison is hell, but church is where the demons are most active.
Too sad that people have to keep it on safety because it’s a cold world.
The fruit was forbidden and it is written.
The sin that expose the consequence, so we have to perish and we still don’t listen and God continues to punish.
Pastors are hypocrites, Teachers are pedophiles, Parents are deadbeats, Churches are filled with gossip, politicians are corrupted.
Money turns the humble into false prophets.
Money over pussy, but it’s really pussy over family.
I seen niggas die over pussy, either in the form of an STD or by a bullet.
We shoot and take a life through the form of abortions.
The unborn don’t get the chance to get placed in a coffin.
Poor choices is the reason crying babies are thrown in the garbage,
just rotting or eaten by hungry rodents.
Or we allow the embryo to become a fetus and turn into deadbeat parents and run away from responsibility.
Stability is a long reach like the journey it took for Odysseus to reach home.
It’s hard to do right, its easy to do wrong.
Upon our sight, hell is where we belong.
We are exposed to danger like an electrical box,
without a ground wire.
Hell is an imagination, brimstone and fire.
Hell is earth so what can be worst?
Why did Lucifer exist in the first place?
Don’t answer that, don’t think too deep,
but think about this,
Why does racism exist?
Why does sexism exist?
To be honest, I don’t care why either exist
or how and why it happened
but what’s the addiction, whats the attraction?
Did this type of hate and discrimination appear out of no where like magic?
Is this being taught in every generation?
A parent’s satisfaction is to teach their children to abhor another human of a different complexion that was created from God’s image.
God makes no mistake, but yet we get mad over pre- existing creations that’s beyond the human comprehension.
When the opposite complexion perish, in private we are celebrating.
How can you call yourself A Man of God if you are racist?
How many Christians in this world do you think are racist?
Now answer this; how many Christians do you think are hypocrites?
How many Christians in this world do you think are sexist?
After reading the previous two lines, do you understand the connection?
It be the dedicated Christians that are most judgmental.
In this world, sometimes we feel like everybody is against you
when you have the skin color that attracts violence towards you from your own people.
Civil war in our own neighborhoods.
We hear gunshots in our own neighborhood.
We see drug deals in our own neighborhood.
The dragon cause havoc on the black youth.
From ages 12 – 24, victimization is most active like a volcano.
The mortal combat dragon is alive and his tongue slides across these young faces.
This tongue is not from a puppy, this tongue wipes the innocence out of the young black faces.
Imagine the depiction, a God like being in the purest form,
but a mortal God that contaminate a immortal soul. So this God like being can conform
to play a hoax on a mortal’s eye.
Hell upon our sight, hell is where we belong.
Here we go again and back and fourth with the same bullshit.
A portrait of Aaliyah; I feel ashamed and yet disappointing.
An enemy identified as my own kind as I stare in the mirror.
Black is my favorite color but yet, it’s a shadow
that’s categorized as a criminal according to the juror.
It shadows the light and it’s a step behind.
Like a bat, brave in cave of darkness, but blind when light strikes.
Light makes the bat sensitive, so we strike out without even swinging.
Verdicts are unfair and one sided, but yet we increase the murder rate by killing each other.
From Lucifer leading the demons that speak to the white man’s conscience, that have the power to make blacks eliminate each other like wrong obvious answers on a mulitple choice test.

Who Is The LifeGuard?

The art of gaining is to go through real pain.
Suffering through pain makes the mind severely insane,
In which on a positive note builds the character,
to which you learn the hard way which will make you wiser.

Whether it’s mentally or physically, a person get broken down.
Imagine your in a 30 feet pool about to drown,
but at that point instead of giving up, you find a way to build up,
Relying on that lifeguard to bring you up,
To motivate your life, give you that CPR,
Telling you that you suffocate at the bottom to show you life is hard.
The lifeguard gives you the mouth to mouth.
A opponent laid out cold, like Mike Tyson knocked him out.
When knocked out you have a choice,
Either to give up and be weak or to fight and be strong,
Life guard gives to you strength to show that your life has theme song,
But the lifeguard can only show the right path,
Its on you to choose the right path,
To fight for your life and gain it back,
To be back on track,
To learn about life, build your character,
remember the pain, gain the knowledge/strength ,
Mentally and physically
to make you stronger.
Become your own motivator

After reading this poem, who do you think is the life guard?

It’s Your Life, Listen To Others But It’s Your Choice

Should you try to live life according to your imagination?

Is this the blue print, the demonstration

to your Plan A?

Is living life according to your imagination the right way?

What are you imaging today?

What you are planning today?

Are you planning to save the world

or destroy it?

Should I be a follower or should I be a leader?

As a follower I am imaging your imaginations?

Wondering if they are safe or unsafe?

Even if they are safe,

will your imagination for me make me happy?

As far as I know to be happy it means freedom to me

It means doing what’s best for me

It means doing what’s defines me.

It means to accept my personality.

It means to never to be ashamed of my friends and family.

It means to not worry about people judging me.

In short, being happy means to be free.

So your imagination sounds

electrifying

and I’m all ears but I must follow my own imagination

do what makes me happy

that’s why God brought me here.

Where Have You Been?

I normally write thought provoking poems but his is one of my more painful and darker poems. Before you read, if you are curious to know more about me, click on this link Who Am I?

Shit felt like yesterday when I was looking for you.
Alot of painful thoughts, late nights praying to you.
I was going thru scriptures in the bible trying to find answers.
A non-response from you left me drowning in deep water.
Now three years later, I now understand what it feels like
Overthinking during the sleepless nights and you was teaching me to hang tight.
Inexperience had me at a disadvantage, almost felt worthless when got my heart broken.
So instead of praying, I looked at every woman as a enemy.
I hated bitches and thought they wasn’t shit and was only worth dick.
I had the wrong type of thinking, at first I tried praying to you but you wasn’t listening.
Your distance has me wanting to seek revenge
so paying for sex was my healing.
The orgasm was addictive and even to this day I still need healing from masturbating.
The more I kept praying, the more I kept overeating.
My heart was like engine that was overheating.
It stopped beating and operating.
It was broken and dead and I held a grudge against you.

Why did you abandoned me when she destroyed me?
Why did you allow her to?
Everytime I look in the mirror I cried tears of pain?
I was really starting to hate you?
You said to cast our my anxiety since you care for me
but you left me drowning in the pool.

I made plenty of mistakes but my heart was in the right place.
Needed help since I experienced love a little late.
I prayed for the right path, but I fell in love at the wrong time and place.
Before I knew, I wasn’t doing things that I shouldn’t.
My only concern was to obtain a proper ejaculation even if it was premature.
Lack of erections had me feeling like a politician losing the election.
A gentleman but yet felt like a loser.
Got tired of this feeling, so went to the doctor
for Viagra.
Felt good to satisfy her needs, but dependent on a pill and I was only 24?
I blamed myself and hated myself.
I had thoughts wondering if I was corny?
I had thoughts wondering should I be lonely?
I had alot of potential in my personality
but you made me antisocial.
I feared being laughed so till this day
still don’t know how to be sociable.
Every time I think about it, made me sick.
I was ashamed of my dick.
I fought this battle alone
and you didn’t defend me.
The klove songs no longer lifted me
It made me empty.
Strippers were the remedy.
I just wanted easy women and hated women
that were classy.
But this wasn’t the proper thinking.
I looked up to but then I started to hate you like an enemy.
Because of the summer of 2015 was my worst memory.
I think bitches are the enemy.
I became a selfish because I don’t care to satisfy a bitch needs.
Now I’m quick to tell a bitch to cheat
if my dick can’t stay hard
I don’t give a fuck.

Why did you abandoned me when she destroyed me?
Why did you allow her to?
Everytime I look in the mirror I cried tears of pain?
I was really starting to hate you?
You said to cast our my anxiety since you care for me
but you left me drowning in the pool

To get the Full Story please read I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1) and I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

Another Friday Question

As usual I have some questions that any blogger is more than welcomed to answer in the comment section.

 

Image result for friday questions  clip art

The subject of this questions deal with submission

 

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

  1. Now whats an example of a man leading the household?
  2. What’s an example of a wife submitting to her husband?

 

The subject of this questions deal with being dickmatized

Based on urban dictionary, dickmatized is “When the dick is so good you start too catch feelings for the guy. When really your just catching feelings for the dick. When the dick makes you say/do crazy things”

A few days ago I was on twitter and I read a thread about being dickmatized and I read some insane stories so my question is

  1. If you are dealing with a toxic man but the sex is marvelous, do you believe great sex will make it hard for you to walk out the relationship?
  2. If you are dealing with a healthy, good looking, goal oriented gentleman but the sex is very bad, will that have you thinking about exiting the relationship if the sex will never improve?
  3. Lets say if you are with a guy that’s the whole package, good looks, perfect height, a gentleman, your parents love him and he is a man of God and ya plan to live happily ever after, do you think being dickmatized by this type of guy is healthy?

 

Please comment below your answers and also after you watch this video, comment below if you agree with what this man was saying!

 

 

Why Should You Only Impress Yourself

Ask yourself what matters,
You are your own leader. 
You are your own follower
When you look at the mirror,
you are your own competitor,

You are your greatest competition.
In a world that’s non-fiction,
Revamping who you are is your own mission,
Just like the company you work for have their own mission statement demonstrating their values and vision.

Motivating yourself on your own.
No  home court advantage to cheer you on.
Makes it harder to come upon.
Much harder to be motivated when people aren’t around to believe in you,
In reality you are more focus on your goal when people look up to you,
but sometimes that puts more pressure on you.

Pressure is being serverely afraid of being a successful failure.
People don’t put you through pressure,
you put yourself through pressure.
You make your own choices,
In your head, you rely on your own head voices.

Greatest disappointment is impressing others
Greatest satisfaction is impressing yourself and no other but your mother

On the planet earth, we are only visitors.
But the afterlife is where we are looked upon by the only true inspector.
Now that’s where you feel the pressure.
You are judged on everything you done on earth, 
starting from birth.
Once you die, no second chance, no such thing as rebirth.
Your born alone and you die alone.
Nobody’s knows their true permanent home.
Everything you do at this moment,you are being watched by a spirit
beyond way greater than a person.
People don’t determine you final destination.