What we can’t predict, we fear.
We fear what we can or cannot hear.
We thank God when the fear in us
is no longer here.
When I say ‘here‘ I’m talking about the heart.
How does a fear start?
Most know the answer to this; its simple.
When a past situation made the experience difficult
to the point its stuck in your head
and now that particular thought
makes your mind fearful
and the hands shake, legs quickly trembles. Like a fist to the temple, feels like death,
or something trivial like a pimple on a dimple.
The steps are sequential, when fear has potential
to store negative energy in your mind and body.
Fear is typical, slightly increasing like hourly wage when working for night differential.
But what if you fear nobody or nothing?
Ready for today; the minute death decides to take visit,
entering the building through the back entrance.
Attacks when you are unprepared, silent
or talking in the middle of a sentence.
But some choose to face the back entrance
and embrace it.
Is it karma or is it just the apple from the tree of good and knowledge,
disguised as a spirit?
No matter what, I face it as if I’m staring at my reflection.
I live on earth and fear nothing in it.
I ready to accept death and harm.
I’m in the moon position,
looking at earth most fearful challenges,
preparing myself to face it.
Some say I behave erratically,
but I’m doing exactly
what the bible tells me.
“He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
I memorized this verse from the book of Deuteronomy.
But some say I behave erratically
for miscalculating risks constantly.
Fear is an emotion and some say I’m avoiding,
but I tried hard for years to fear something
but the one thing I feared for years
have been disregarded through my apathetic mind.
Does my apathy affect my daily living?
Is Having to overcome my fears made me apathetic?
The one thing I once feared is omnipotent,
but yet I belive I am a dedicated Christian.
I can bare any punishment
for consequences of actions I committed
The laws in the bible make consequences predictable
and we fear what’s not predictable.
Besides God, I have never feared anything.
The news articles and crime reports are oblivious;even the crimes against women and kids that are committed.
Life in prison, a STD that’s life threatening, it don’t matter, I fear nothing.
Some say I behave erratically, but I’m following the bible precisely.
So the verse in Deuteronomy, is it contradicting
or am I the hands and use the scriptures as yarn to twist and turn
to manipulate you into thinking I am not afraid
when In reality, I fear everything around me?
The true meaning of fear. A risk like a kid in the 90’s playing double dare but much more severe.
The generation is headed for destruction and I pray for the children since they are the future, but what’s in my future?
I have the power to create life but how can I raise and protect a child’s life when I fear mine?
Children take up a lot of time and I love my alone time. Will I be ready for when a child disobey? I can’t punch a child in the face as I think to myself does discipline and punishment in this generation actually work?
Should I make my children go to church when I barely read the bible myself? The seed is expected to grow but can I provide the water to help the seed grow? Tell u the truth, even though I’m 27 I question myself wondering if I’m grown.
More sleepless nights I predict since I can’t understand the unpredictability of kids. We pray for what we want until we receive it. It’s like a young girl wanting a man with a big dick. What we want is not what we expect when we receive it because we receive more than we can handle.
God can use the same blessing he gave you to punish you if you don’t thank him for being there for you. So always remember to put God first and hope whatever you are praying for when you receive it thank God first.
Question to think about?
Based on reading this poem, when was the last time you felt this type fear? If you come across this type of fear again, will be able to handle this situation differently than the last time you felt this specific fear?
This is real
and time kills
The stress is
what I feel.
Living in a nightmare
I ask myself
“Am I cursed?”
Things just got worst
becuase life is a bitch.
Walk and walk around
all over town.
Contemplating and imagining
wishing things was different
My mind and personality is insipid.
Failed to take leadership
of my priorities.
Tired of responsibilities
Time to take the easy way out.
I need a cheat code
to defeat the boss of each level.
In the mirror I see devils
whispering in my ear
“God don’t exist here”
I’m tired of working for
I want to be my own boss.
Who am I kidding
I been lost,
mentally and spiritually.
Should I turn to Jack Daniels?
Devour liquor like sharks
“All men are created equal”
This is hysterical
becuase the man that wrote this
is on Mount Rushmore.
I will never go to visit Mount Rushmore
becuase I don’t look up to slave owners.
Freedom in America is overated.
It’s hard being a man,
especially a black man,
darkskin or tan
most lack funds
to carry out the plan
to live the American dream.
I blame America
for bombing Nagasaki
Later on our sercets
we’re stolen from russia.
One day in the future
there will be another
More blood and gore
then a mortal combat
Violence and pain
is more common
than peace and happiness.
Slavery existed since ancient days.
Picking cotton in the 1700’s
Jim crow laws existed
between late 1800’s to mid 1900’s
If you think about it,
humans were easily
living past 100
back in ancient days
Humans were twice
the size back then
compared to the humans
Where did black people come from?
Where did Spanish people come from?
Where did Asains come from?
If Tupac and Biggie Smalls were white
do you think their murders would still be a mystery?
Why do we have black history?
Why can’t white and black combine together
and just be history?
White and black is always a label.
I missed days when I watch Disney movies
I thought happily ever afters was guaranteed.
That’s all a big dream.
The older generation think we’re lazy
That might be true maybe.
Technology makes life more complex.
Owners of businesses will work you to death.
They don’t give a fuck about you
or your kids.
They still expect you to come to work
while your sick.
In high school, kids and even teachers
prejudging you every minute
Now days beef gets personal becuase niggas will bring your kids into it.
This what happens when you mix family
Kids robbing and killing their parents over Jordans.
As a kid, Michael Jordan was my hero, but now to me he is a asshole.
He don’t give a fuck about the poor.
His sneakers the poor can’t afford.
Why can’t he lower the prices?
We have a president that clueless
and he don’t respect women.
A man will kill another man over a women.
A woman will be a side chick to man
and wear the title proudly
becuase of jealousy.
Humans are the crack
Humans are the cocaine
Humans are the acholic beverages
Humans are the HIV/AIDS
Humans are wicked
Guns aren’t evil,
but the person that pulls the trigger
is the real devil
A man can take your life without
pulling the trigger
by stealing your wife.
But is it really called “stealing”
If your wife is voultnerairly cheating?
Being deceiving, sending nudes
behind your back
while you break your back
providing her a lifestyle
and yet she fucking another man
with out using a Trojan or a lifestyle.
Men are just as bad and it’s sad.
A man will live a double life,
get his girl pregnant
while all along he had a wife.
Lie about his name and age
just to get pussy.
Taking advantage of a girl
She gets heartbroken
when she find out the truth.
The truth hurts becuase the
facts are rude.
Imagine if you was this girl,
would you trust another
man in this world?
Life is cold,
when you gotta get an abortion
and kill a baby that you wanted
becuase you love a man
that promise you
that you are in his future plans.
Ya takes pics and you post them
Brag to all your Follwers
until you get pregnant.
He telling you to get
and he don’t
take you to clinic.
Now you tell your parents.
Mother is ashamed and disgusted
Well maybe it’s her fault
for being too strict and not understanding.
Saying No to everything is not
protecting you daughter.
It’s pushes her futher and further
away from her mother
and closer into men that are abusive
mentally or physically or both.
Video games are addictive
I remember when I was a kid
They said it poisonous to a kids mind
They say video games is a waste of time.
Parents act mature around their children
but around other adults they don’t like,
they act immature ,some act worst then
Sometimes parents can be the biggest hypocrites.
Sometimes as an adult, you can learn from children.
Sometimes we fail to protect our children
from the rapist and it makes me sick to my fucking stomach when muthafuckas say victims are the scapegoat.
Listen I don’t care how tight her dress or how short her shorts are,
nobody deserves that.
People have issues and through their anger and issues animals get abused.
Torture and slaughter of animals is evil.
Dog fighting is common and this was not God’s intention.
Wealth imbalances, Famine, Diseases, War and terrorism, Addictions, racism and unemployment
having me fearing the future
worrying I’m going to die young
or be a bum searching for crumbs
for not taking school serious.
I do take education serious
but I’m delirious
without my therapist
becuase I keep over thinking
for a hundred different reasons
and I’m addicted to over thinking.
I hate giving advice when people
ask for it because I feel like a hypocrite.
Everything in this poem I mentioned
is what I think about over and over.
One day I fear it will be my last
and a voice says to me
Beginning of November I posted
a “Meaning of Fear” post
but that wasn’t a third of what
I really fear
I don’t know what’s in my future
Can you picture my anxiety?
Mind is full of misery, nobody is helping.
Receive 3 curses back to back for every blessing.
Pure stress is what I’m receiving.
The truth is what I believe in , but life is deceiving.
Having me constantly dreaming of heaven
and patiently waiting for the battle of armagedon.
Handgun on my waist for power and protection.
Killing is evil but self defense is an exception
Since the inception of earth murder been existent
Sometimes it’s better to mind your business then to be an eye witness if you wanna make it to Christmas
because a criminal will protect his life by canceling your christmas.
So we become so oblivous when afflicted which makes us into drug addicts.
Addicted to the bad habit can turn a straight man to a faggot.
Sometimes we blame the parents but the most fucked up kids are raised by the strictest parents.
Punishments and beatings was unbearing
but yet parents wondering how fundamentals were lacked
Disrespectful behavior from peers is what attracts the naive female adolescents to grown men sitting on their laps.
So I fear of having daughter and afraid of her growing up without no order.
Innocence of kids fade when they get older.
Now went from crying on your shoulder to uploading twerk videos on social media now a full grown diva who evolved from being a junior school cheerleader
Shedding a tear because of what she wears.
Breast just popped up like pop ups on computer screens.
Seeking attention from men is her American dream.