Please God

The side where light is absent.
The first demon of lust is present.
The second is hidden
like materialistic items inside
a box.
This demon is hidden like secrets
and clever like a fox.
A poison that can dismantle a focus
that’s meant for greatness.
Precious like Eve’s nakedness,
lose its value
like Adam’s place in the Garden of Eden.
Lust will place me in conflict
like R kelly in 96.
I’m on the downlow and no I’m
not homosexual.
I have a secret, that one day I will
open up to the world and expose it.
My mind is an overloaded circuit.
My choices is why my life
is like a circus.
My circuit breaker is tripping
like a clumsy kid with untied shoelaces.
My world is darkness with no emotions.
A heart of stone, like corrupted politicians
that abuse power and criticize those in poverty.
Lost like odyessus in the Odyssey.
Finding my way home damn near
almost an imaginary
This is year 2 of a 20 year journey.
A punishment that has my world blindness.
Fires, cannibal giants, seductive women, hinder
my path to reach heaven.
Why is life defined like learning lessons
in physics?
All I ask for is to reach home in peacefulness.
I just want skip life like an intelligent child
skipping 1st grade,
and make it to heaven.
God, if you can hear me, can you please, I’m not asking to be rich, or for a big house.
Can you please destroy the two demons
because they block the path of me
from achieving greatness.
I do not want to burn in hell with Satan.

The Devil(Part 2)

Please read The Devil(Part 1) first before this.

 

Nobody hides pain better than

a man

that’s trying to do right.

Now, here I am

indirectly explaining

the pain

that harasses me

mentally and spiritually

which causes me

to overeat everything

that’s unhealthy.

When people read my dark

poetry

they usually ask

“What’s bothering you?”

I reply nothing.

I wish that was the truth

but the more I do right,

the more I lie.

The more I try to be outgoing,

the more I hide.

I fear what I don’t understand.

Why is so hard being a man?

Being a child was hard,

so being an adult in today’s generation

is mission impossible.

Is psychological integration

possible?

I found millions of demons

in my body

but I can’t personify them.

They have me condemned

to a life sentence of imprisonment.

Trying to remain strong

but my patience wearing weak.

The evil possessed in me

is unique.

What I learned is what feels like heaven

is really defined as demon.

It uses pretty looks as a form of sedation.

The fallen angels placed me on suicide watch.

They forcing me to stay alive which forces

my confidence to drop.

Is it better to rest in peace or to be alive being agonized?

I’ve heard that emotions are incredible gifts

that we have to let us know

what we are thinking.

So is this true for all the inmates serving a life sentence?

What is incredible about emotions?

What is a gift?

A present, a materialistic item inside a gifted wrapped box where an emotion hides.

But emotions don’t have an return policy.

This is a complex process and I don’t have the skill to deal with negative feelings.

Why do I feel so negative about today’s generation?

Vaginas stretching wide open easier to access.

Marriage became harder to request.

This is today’s world and we have no choice but to accept

thanks to the precious gift of an emotion.

The pleasure of something becomes so much of an addiction,

it’s blinds the morals of the righteous,

and the pleasure of doing something negative,

like smoking, drinking, gambling, sex, robbing, is the god we worship

but this is just finding happiness in wrong places.

When we listen to our emotions, we won’t always make the right choices.

We listen to those voices.

The voice that speaks in your mind to play a hoax on you

so you don’t use logic.

A temporary fix can lead to a lifetime of guilt and this kills

like weed killer in a vegetable garden.

As life on earth ages, it as well hardens the lives of humans.

Technology, Music, Television, is different in each generation.

Is change always a good thing?

When a change in your life occur

is that God’s blessing

or did the devil grabbed your face and took a swing?

I am a man in the clouds of heaven trying to fly with one broken wing.

Man I wish everything written in this poem was a dream.

The Devil(Part 1)

The devil is a preacher
The devil is a prophet
The devil is a teacher
So what does this mean?
It means that the devil
use disguises.
Why is evil in a disguise?
Deceit is more astonishing
than any magic trick.
Its extremely secretive
like Alex Mack power.
Can slide under locked doors
at any given hour.
The devil time is coming to an end,
so life for the millennials is getting harder.
My struggle is against the spiritual forces of evil.
When I solve a problem, it’s always a sequel.
Many many more issues and I’m only human.
So sometimes I think about God’s victory
over Satan and believe the light is overrated.
Life, I’ve been hate it because of Satan.
Demons were once angels, so kindness is always overrated.
Nobody is safe in this world, safety is overrated.
The technique to solve problems aren’t demonstrated
until you fail the life lesson.
This is why I believe college is bullshit.
Student loans and tuition balance are expensive charges
and make stress charge at you mentally like a bull.
The curriculum for majority of the courses is full of shit
because after graduation just empty pockets while receiving minimum wage payments.
It’s a tease and confusing like your best friend of the opposite sex giving mix signals.
Sometimes I wish life was simple like making a wish before blowing birthday candles.
I wish miracles were automatic deposits in your life like directed deposit in a checking account.
Days, hours, minutes, even seconds I count.
I count since I am closer to death, I can almost taste her.
She is brutal like the winter in 2015 in NYC.
I define her characteristic as being petty for holding grudges against me.
She celebrates my misery, blocking me from accomplishing my journey.
The nickname I gave her was Poseidon because I feel like Odyessus in Odyssey.
She stalks me so I wonder if death has schizophrenia.
Should I have mercy due the disorder?
I mean, she turn 151, 600 bodies cold a day of all ages.
That’s 105 people a minute, so that everybody from people locked in cages, millionaires in mansions, homeless on the streets starving, babies in garbages, innocent victims during school shoots.
This 105 excludes the abortions that didn’t need coffins.
But what scares me is the 250 births a minute because think about it,
how many of these babies will be possessed by demons?
How many of these babies are will burn in hell with Satan?
Now people always say stop being so negative
and you should always think positive.
Well in Matthew 7:13 – 14, it says “Enter by the narrow gate.
For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find are few.”
So now after reading this bible scripture, is this a positive or negative?
So after reading this, I believe hard work doesn’t pay off, it’s really about the connections.
Think about it like this.
Christmas lights, electricity, technology, or with anything equipment with a plug don’t work
unless you connect it to a outlet.
So in order to see the light, it’s not about hard work, it’s about connections.
Let’s be honest, when we think of the ‘light’ most of us Christians think of Jesus.
Jesus is who we worship.
The spirit of Jesus is used by many for a selfish benefit.
We follow the laws of the bible and do right by God until money involved.
Money is why we cheat, money is why we lie.
Love of Money is the root of all evil, so money is a curse in disguise.
Corruption reaches its peak when the price of selling your soul began to rise.
Rich is greedy for seeking attention of wealth
but the poor is cold hearted looking to empty your pockets.

 

After reading this, do you think the devil’s power is underestimated?

Can We Truly Get Rid Of Our Demons?

I sleep in peace

and wake up to the nightmare.

Always nervous and scared

While comparing my life to double dare.

The environment I cannot bare.

In the mirror I just stare

and pretend to be brave.

But I ‘m scared.

My luck is no where

and bad luck is everywhere.

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out.

I no longer shed tears.

My balls is a waste of a pair.

I choose not to share

my deepest fears

since no one is near

to hear my fears.

In a world surrounded with snipers

and I am the deer.

Sometimes I dare

to let God to let me

live another day.

I wake up miserable and ashamed

Doesn’t the lord see the pain in my face?

I’m held back since I am part of the African American race.

I keep quiet so I don’t sound like I’m making excuses to some.

But being poor plus misery together,

just add the sum.

So miserable I become numb.

No matter how many scriptures I read,

I will always feel senseless.

The more I pray, the more

I feel like it’s meaningless.

Trust is pointless.

I was born a sinner

so I choose to be devious

because what’s healthy for us

seems to be tedious.

Life is supposed to be gorgeous

but I find it hideous.

How can I be cautious

when I haven’t slayed my demons?

The nightmare of living

and I wish I was dreaming.

My heart is in prison

serving a life sentence.

My mind is in hell burning

like the soul of Stalin.

Life is lonely when dick ridding

is something your constantly refusing.

Social media is the devils technology

and it’s an addiction

Instead of family,

social media become our guardians

guiding us in the wrong direction

like a broken compass.

Love and social media

have one thing in common.

The blindness of each of them

is contagious, harming generations.

Decision made of off emotions

Instead of logic.

Toxic like drunk driving.

We follow with our hearts,

but leave our brain behind

to get caught up in a bind.

Common problem is communication.

Basic skills like talking and listening

we learn in kindergarten

is forgotten.

Greed and ignorance is recurrent

leading sinners to sin

instead of asking forgiveness.

The more technology advances,

the diminish of communication

becomes more prominent.

Life becomes faster paced

and we struggle to keep up.

We are forced to be robots

In life and the program we follow is unpredictable.

So can we blame hypocrites for being hypocritical?

Technology increase the ignorance

but in reality ignorance always been existent.

This type of living is ancient,

Youtube and WorldStar

just made the ignorance

more prominent.

Life is violent now and it was violent back then.

The devil is our best customer

and demons behind him march

like American soldiers.

We pricing scanning our souls

when the price is right.

Desperate for a better life,

So we close the good book

for a better outside look.

Looks do fade,

and our bodies go out of business

because the devil found somebody else

to implicate in sin

since he already fooled you.

Now have you serving a life sentence,

now your soul burning.

Money causes a fire that can’t be

sprayed with extinguisher.

Money is the root

Jealously and hate is the stem

Bullets and HIV is the

and the dead body is the flower.

Demonstration of being a slave

to the devils power.

Power conquers

by using divide and conqueror.

So many people are modern day

Julius Caesars.

Men and women blame each other,

exposing each other on social media.

“Men are Trash”, “These Hoes Ain’t loyal”.

Children of God are so spoiled

and we are all disloyal.

Blaming each other on Social Media

Instead of helping each other.

The followers don’t care about your problems

they just entertaining your drama

and this is why I fear of having a daughter

because when years pass by it’s gonna get worst.

We as humans are overworked
Tired to the bone.
Stressed out for feeling alone.
Thoughts deep
like the voice of baritones.
Life is long but yet its short.
Time move slow when your bored
and alone.

But move fast when your under pressure
like a single father with 4 daughters.
I ask lord to forgive me for my sins
I’m devastated.
Lonely nights, so me and my hand got acquainted.
Drinking alcohol to subdue the pain until I fainted.
I look in the mirror and I ain’t shave in a minute.
My beard 6 inches long, I look wasted.
Time is precious
but I ain’t been happy in a minute.
Asking for forgiveness is complicated
because I ain’t forgive myself.
Upset like criminal
because parents refuse to post bail.
Anger consumes me and it’s an unconquerable
enemy.
Rage increases while drinking the Hennessy.
Road rage
and hallucinating like my weed was laced.
In a different time zone.
In a different space.
Cutting myself across the face
and watch the blood leak
in the drain.

Situations were too difficult to bare.
Got a mark that stretch from the chin to my hair.
Lost myself in the process
I’m searching for my soul
but I can’t find it.
I give up
I’m exhausted.
I remain soulless.
Full of shit like a toilet.
My life wasted like abortions.
I have a price tag on my body
and for the right price
I give you permission to take
my life.

Life is not a race

but I’m made fun of

for not finding my space.

A select few can relate.

My shoes tied

but still falling flat on my face.

Most problems on our own we create

but for heaven sake

bad luck is what I taste.

I wonder if my life was a mistake.

I tried for years to play it safe.

In dreams we hide from monsters

in real life the monsters are in hiding places

with the best disguises.

World full of surprises and I know this

so I always expect the unexpected

like erections in the wrong places

hoping nobody notice

but somebody is always watching.

Scheming, looking for a weakness

and bullies find this amusing.

So I’m paranoid

My heart is void

like the earth before it was created.

A monster inside me is the creation

To my devious patterns

of sinning.

A thin line between good and evil

and caught up right in the middle.

The good ones are constantly belittled.

For every problem solved,

always a more difficult riddle.

So I give up and cross the over to evil

And it was simple

Like crossing the street at midnight

and now inside of me.

Have You Ever Had regrets For Giving Up On Someone Or Something?

Closet is not clean,
Skeletons are hiding
and time is a demon
like a child without discipline.
Like gasoline,
the closet is toxic
and the skeletons,
need to get rid of them.
Put them in a coffin
and finally close it.
Love and pain is blinding,
emotions leading to crying
but for different reasons.
Different like the cells
inside the semen.
Still blinded from emotions
so I don’t see men
that can provide motivation.
The ones who hearts aren’t decent
are warriors for the demons
inside my closet.
Personalities are foul
like the smell of garbage
and negative energy
travels like sewage.
Can’t have love without pain
So subconsciously
fell in love with pain
when I learned that
falling in love is painful.
It’s pitiful
being trapped in your own closet.
Remaining still, suffering
while time is moving
like a old man driving
while it’s raining.
No umbrella but withstand the rain
that make puddles
near the drain.
Thoughts run like a drug addict’s
nose from sniffing cocaine.
Mind is racing
but my body is at ease.
For so long I wanted
to seek peace.
Like a homeless man that
wants to eat,
I beg and plead
for these demons to leave me.
It’s like a submissive wife
being abused by her alcoholic husband.
She is nervous and sweating every waking moment.
She loves him but is petrified
of the horrendous beatings.
Is she in love with pain?
Does she stay with him
becuase she believes
she can’t have love without pain?
This type of thinking is insane
like a section 8.
Like a parents reacting
to their teenage daughter getting pregnant
on the first date
is the type of feeling where I can relate.
Frustration and fear is a bad combination.
A pitbull and an American bobtail in the same yard.
A mile away I can just sense the tension
and these demons are staring at me hard.
In my own backyard, I struggle with my demons.
like a man on steroids struggle to maintain an erection.
Need to elude so suicide is what I am contemplating.
An easy way out is to let my demons have the closet.
Need to end my worrying which is destroying my mind
like a earthquake to a building.
Tired of being out numbered and fighting
alone without friends and family
so I will do myself a favor and put myself
inside the coffin.

It will be at least 2 weeks (maybe even longer) before I upload my next post.

Comment below if you think this is a good poem to recite at a open mic!

Comment below if you ever gave up on something and end up regretting it!

Next post I upload will be continuation to this poem of me being in hell and having regrets of committing suicide!

God Bless You All