This Never Happened

Being lonely at times
helps me escape reality in my mind.
Imagine happiness to escape the pain.
Wishing I was a man with fame
instead of being a lame.
Swear at times my mind is a game
playing tricks like a prostitute being a side chick to a pimp.
Remembering all the presents for Christmas but in reality never got shit.
Jealous  of the other kids made me sick to the point wishing I was different.
Reminisce the negative but replace it with the positive.
The positive  is false but that’s what I choose to acknowledge.
Blame myself for not having both parents
but yet I see mom and dad hugging and loving me as if I am the one and only.
Beautiful fairy tale  like a Walt Disney movie.
Walking home from school hearing gunshots  on the block
refuse to listen and instead picturing me and my friends with waterguns.
Selling bricks  hittin licks for me is the hustle to subdue my struggles to make college affordable.
But instead picture myself filling out FAFSA forms to make college affordable.
Dreaming  of making my unborn child proud saying to him  ” I did this for you”
Tears come down as my unborn child reached his rest day before his birthday.
I picture my new friend as my best man in my wedding ceremony
When I really walked in on him and my gf in my house having sex and I pull out my 9mm  aiming at them  wishing in my mind this never happened.

I’m A Maniac

Solider with the mind of a Maniac

Never been a gangsta,

But in love with the violence

I try to behave, but seem

To follow the path of

Defiance.

I’m a hypocrite, because

Life is so intricate.

I abbreviated the name

Of my guns every time I

Commit a homicide.

Shoot and reload

Without thinking twice.

I’m always fully loaded

With clips like it’s full metal jacket.

I shoot my rounds and leave the scene

Graphic.

Section eight is what going on

In my head and I’m not militant.

I sacrificed peace, just to see bodies deceased.

I’m notorious; I give people the creeps,

Like crackhead teeth.

In my garage, I got artillery

As if I’m a veteran on Call of Duty.

I don’t need a hitman, I’ll do the job myself.

Have my buddy on my waist

Near the buckle of my belt.

The feeling of the cold steel on my hands.

A addictive feeling no one understands.

I rob and kill,

I’m just looking for a meal

I mean well,

But I sold my soul

And I will end up in hell.

As far as living a righteous life

Fuck that oh well

I rob and kill,

I’m just looking for a meal

I mean well,

But I sold my soul

and I will end up in hell.

As far as living a righteous life

Fuck that oh well

I need a peace plan
Life is cold like Iceland
and thoughts are deep
like the Atlantic Ocean.
I daydream into wonderland
wondering
what’s my lifespan
is it worth more
than the loose change
in my sweatpants.
I’m a positive man
but being broke
provides an appeal that’s blatant.
Blatantly heart becomes vacant
and mind is filthy like a basement
filled with rodents.
Aggressive like a caveman
and brain contemplating
to obtain money in my hands.
I need to get my hands on
A mack ten.
Every man I plan on robbing
since lack of funds have me dehydrating.
I have a belly to feed
and this world is survival of the fittest
and I don’t make enough profit
selling weed
So I must proceed with my
evil scheme.
I wouldn’t be turning into Satan
if life was free
So somebody has to scream
So I can eat.
I robbing people and even their seeds.
Years of being broke made me complacent.
So at midnight I robbed a gas station
without any hesitation.
Pulled out my mack 10
and pointed it at the man
behind the counter.
He pulled the money out register.
My bullet is an eraser
I shot him twice in the face
and now his life is erased.
Satan paid for my soul
through pay pal
and I sold it.
I’m soulless.
If I had twice of what I had
I never would of been infatuated
with gats.
Homicide I didn’t want to commit
but shit, this is it.
I’m like the bubble boy trying to adapt.
Insane like slim shady lyrics
So it’s obvious I snapped.

I rob and kill,

I’m just looking for a meal

I mean well,

But I sold my soul

And I will end up in hell.

As far as living a righteous life

Fuck that oh well

I rob and kill,

I’m just looking for a meal

I mean well,

But I sold my soul

and I will end up in hell.

As far as living a righteous life

Fuck that oh well

 

A Devil In A Blue Dress

An angel from heaven I see,

and  she’s at a distance from me.

Bluefairy

She blows me a kiss and run away from me

an_angel_blowing_a_kiss_by_zetcom-d594wum

 

faster and faster.

I yell louder and louder.

So bad I want to touch her,

but I can’t get near her.

Could never see her face clearly,

I only see the back of her dress and it’s lovely,

like Cinderella’s slippers.

 

DP0825201717581477M

 

My mind is on cloud nine,

as I’m levitating between the clouds in the sky.

I’m floating through the air, and I get closer

to her.

Closer to the scent on her blue dress,

The beat picks up its rhythm inside

the middle of my chest.

I see her arms and shoulders, while I grab her

thin blue straps.

Her skin is so metallic,

like glitter and diamonds.

maxresdefault

 

As I grab her, that innocent voice of hers

she is slightly giggling.

She turns around, she’s not an angel

and she went from slightly giggling  

to evil laughter.

maxresdefdssault

 

 

It’s a red dragon, ready to devour my body.

I’m now in the stomach of Lucifer.

Ifrit1-610x399

All along the lady was really a fraud like Christopher.

maxresdeflhibbhgbighault

I’m Slipping

Many mistakes

lead to the fallen
of my face.
Retie my
shoe lace
and slowly
find my pace.
My mind
is like the rate
of change
and up the slope
I began to accelerate.
I’m like an inexperienced
driver
and unlike the experienced
I’m moving a little slower.
Both hands on the wheel
until I get the feel
but as of now
arms shaking
like a student outside
during the fire drill.
Cold outside and nervous
was when I was
attacked by the serpents
for observing my weakness.
Being observed like a
science experiment
and I’m being tested
like a hypothesis.
Sometimes I wish
I was only a cum stain
 on a ebony magazine
in prison.
I get exhausted from living.
I blame the process of conception
for my existence.
Haven’t matured from
all the therapy sessions.
Wasted money on
co-payments.
I neglected each
and every lesson.
So many unanswered
questions.
I’m oblivious to the
present
because I think futuristic.
I’m a robot with job.
Dollars and coins
are now artifacts.
I flying to school
with a jetpack.
But I’m wondering
Will I have a ballsac?
Robots can dance
but can robots have sex?
My teacher wakes me
up for snoring in class.
Dann that was a crazy
dream that I had.
So embrassed
like a parent
of a 15 year old
that’s pregnant.
Like my dreams
I’m falling asleep
through every lesson
except no co-payments.
Funds come out of my
parents taxes.
No ebony magazines
in my reality.
Have yet to
lose my virginity
So masterbating to
 experiences
I only see
in my dreams.
The teacher is
now screaming
on me
for not paying
attention.
I swear she is the
serpent
that leads the demons
who then leads me
to temptation.
Now in serve hesitation
all of a sudden
a fire drill.
My classmates
March into
the soccer field.
Shivering because
of the wind chills.
See girl by the otherside
of the field.
Couldn’t resist this
oppurnitiy I had
to feel
her ass cheeks
to see if they
were real.
Among the crowd
she stood still
I gripped her bottom
with two hands
like a steerling wheel
on ship.
I tried to dip
and I thought I
was slick.
My shoelaces were untied
and as I ran
over the building steps
I slipped.
She came on
top of me
and punch me
in the chin.
Not again
As I wake up
in my mother’s
bed pretending
again
to be somebody
I’m not.
I’m slipping again