What Is Your Conclusion On Love?

Love is blind
Love is an illusion
Love is risky
and that’s the conclusion
Love is blind
Love is an illusion
Love is risky
and that’s an conclusion.

An unexpected occurance of an powerful spirit
beyond your average emotion
it must be tested.
We form an hypothesis when blind sighted
Eyes close or walking with a cane while
wearing a blindfold.
We seek everlasting peace
walking on a thin line rope
and the ocean below filled with sharks swim below
waiting for our downfall.
You see Cupid and he take his hand and reach
like a cashier giving a customer a receipt.
When you reach your hand out for help, he pulls back, transform to a demon and stab you with the pitchfork
Laughs and call you a dork.
Blood leaks below towards the sea
and you fall and become shark meat.

Love is blind
Love is an illusion
Love is risky
and that’s the conclusion
Love is blind
Love is an illusion
Love is risky
and that’s the conclusion.

Love is highbeams
that shines the eyes
so bright,
have no choice
but to close your eyes.
Driving towards the destination of love and your blind.
Lose control of the steering wheel and yet praying you don’t lose control.
Hoping you don’t crash but if you do, is it your fault?
Is love something you can control?
Is love something we can hear behind a closed door?
Is love something that comes inside when you open the door, or is love knocking on the door to tell you goodbye so love can move on?

Love is blind
Love is an illusion
Love is risky
and that’s the conclusion
Love is blind
Love is an illusion
Love is risky
and that’s the conclusion

Love is expressed through words
that build and destroy.
Love is priceless, but used like a toy
to play with a heart until it breaks.
Love is real and love is fake
when hate is real.
Love protects, but love is a risk.
Love heals you when your sick.
Love robs you when you rich.
Love is paradise, but love is hell.
Love keeps you focus, but love has a spell.
Love creates life, but love spreads a disease.
Love is contagious, does love ever sleep?
When you love somebody, do you wish for sleep?
When you love somebody, do you become sleepless?
When you love somebody, are you sleepwalking?
Can’t control where you walk, your imagination will lead you to your final destination.
Is the final destination Hell or Heaven?
Is the final destination a mansion or prison?
We form the hypothesis, but what’s your conclusion?
If you in love at this moment, you won’t know the affect of it until, you wake up from sleep walking

Love is blind
Love is an illusion
Love is risky
and that’s the conclusion
Love is blind
Love is an illusion
Love is risky
and that’s the conclusion

If Life Had A Restart Button, What Would You Do Different?

If life had a restart button

what would you do different?

Reverse all of your choices.

Would you be married?

Would you be the president?

Or would you be in prison?

Ask yourself

In this present day,

have you find happiness

Or are you miserable?

Feelings is all emotional

but with feelings, the way situations

affect us, is all mental.

Can’t move backwards

when breathing the air above you.

Shit happens

but how you handle situations is all mental.

So instead of wishing for a button

that don’t exist learn from your mistakes,

appreciate the air you breathe

while you are still existing.

How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie(Part 3)

Before you read this, I highly recommend you read How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie and How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie(Part 2)first. I share my very personal thoughts in poetry format cut and dry and I don’t give a fuck. Through out this poem, I will have some sentences in bold in this poem because those are the quotes that are most powerful lessons that I learned.

The way I wrote this, I wrote this as if I was having a private conversation with a very close person in a confidential place, like in a pastors office or at a therapy session. So when reading this, picture this as if you are a pastor or therapist and after reading this or hearing this verbally, how would you respond?

I have a frightened look in my eyes,

so lord I ask you to be by my side.

It’s better to tell the truth than to lie.

I have a good heart

but I think about homicide and suicide.

Scared for my life and I’m weak

like an abused wife.

I don’t get beat, but at times,afraid to speak.

Absent minded is a weakness of mines.

I know improvement comes with time

but being criticized for years destroyed my spirit and pride.

Please show me the way to keep me safe.

When the way is available

I pray that I choose the right path to keep me safe.

Today all I know is that I have to pray

but how do I start?

Another weakness of mines

how do I finish what I start?

My mind is like

a hockey player skating on a hockey ring,

I am all over the place.

Can’t stay focus and I always had problems to concentrate

on anything.

I never had interest in going back to church

but I would reconsider if I can find the right person to relate to,

to show me how to follow you and make the right moves.

To teach me to do not what always feels good

but do what is right.

I don’t know why but all I know is I fear for my life?

I haven’t cried in three years.

Maybe I should release the pain by shedding tears.

Sometimes I hate myself for not speaking up.

So many times I let things slide like a water ride.

Am I worthy to be a man?

What is it that I don’t understand?

I am curious to know what is your plan?

Will I die in happiness tomorrow

or live in misery for the rest of the century?

Will I accomplish more than my parents

Or will I die with nothing and go to hell

when people visit me in the cemetery?

Will I be a legend?

Will I be just a short term memory?

Will I be loved for eternally?

“Will I escape the weather when it rains?

Or will I stand still and accept the rain

and look above my head at the dark cloud?”

I was fortunate to have both parents

and yet so many doubts.

“Is it right to hate someone you love?

Another words, can you love and hate somebody

at the same time?”

It’s better to tell the truth than to lie,

so I am fuming on the inside.

“So stressed since over the years I’ve been criticize,

so I became addicted to free time.

All I wanna do is just being alone with my thoughts

and zone out but this is not healthy right?

Is this the reason why I am lazy?

Is it because I am addicted to free time?

I can write and write

about all the fucked things that happened to me

but what am I accomplishing in life

by complaining all the time?

I have lied at times but it was because I am addicted the free time.

I should be happy and free right?

Telling the truth is the right thing

but telling the truth make you regretful

when the result of it makes you miserable,

so is it better to lie than to tell the truth?

So see how I am addicted to free time?

For being criticized

and always doing things other people’s way

is why I rather isolate into my own space.

I keep my feelings inside

but it takes up space

in my head and when it is time

for me to handle my responsibilities,

I can’t concentrate.

Overthink shit every single day.”

They say be careful what you wish for.

Well for years I wished for peace

but instead I bleed

and the people that stabbed me

are usually the people I don’t see

so I learned that betrayal is beyond my reach.

So I isolate my self to protect myself.

I talk to myself.

Is this bad for my health?

Well you can answer that

but I don’t give a fuck about your opinion

if you think I’m not an ordinary civilian

when you haven’t walked years down the path I took.

“You ever had a bad dream and thought it was real

and you was thankful you woke up and it wasn’t real?

Well imagine it in reverse,

I sleep and dream about heaven and peace

and wake up to brimstone and fire

so another words my reality is a nightmare?”

I can relate to the average inmate on the tier.

Ever wondered how an inmate or homeless person sleep?

Imagine having a good dream

and waking up to living on the street or in prison.

Or imagine dreaming about endless sex

with beautiful women but wake up knowing you are a virgin?

“Now this don’t sound so unpleasant

and this pain sounds lenient

but we all view things different.”

To that virgin, it feels like

his dick is in prison

and he has to wait years to release his semen.

His wrist has limited movement

from being cuffed and his wrist hurts

from constantly jerking off.

“For those of reading this,

do you see how I am relating masturbating to prison?

It’s about guilt and this how I feel.

Guilty like a criminal and my guilt

has my mind and body in a cell.

So jerking off is my exercise and freedom

to release tension and the blood flow is increasing

like I ‘m pumping iron

and my arm is so sore

I could barely lift it.

See how I related masturbating to prison?”

Let me stop bragging and explain my flaws

through erectile dysfunction.

My mind couldn’t function.

It was a little over four years ago,

but felt like yesterday

when I couldn’t play with it my way.

When I say it, I’m talking about

the vagina.

It’s in front me but I didn’t have the tool to use it.

“As a child you ever had video games and toys in front

of you

but wasn’t allowed to play with them

because you was on punishment?

Imagine that is this.

Felt like an unprepared student

always forgetting his pencil.

I had so much potential to be an excellent lover

but the pain was mental

and this is where I learned mental slavery

is worst than physical slavery.”

My mind is worn out

like the big bad wolf

when trying to blow the third little

pigs house down by huffing

and puffing.

Got tired of stressing

so went to the urologist

and got a sample of cialis.

Like nicotine, I got addicted to this

and raw vagina and cream pies felt

good like holding your urine for a hour straight

until you finally get home and then you start

releasing it

like a new video game coming out for Christmas

and because of cialis, the cells in my seamen

was like the crowd rushing on Black Friday in the front doors

of Walmart at midnight.

But constant pregnancy scares had me fearing for my life.

This was another mental fight.

So lesson I learned was, one problem solved

can add on another when you take shortcuts

but I’m hardheaded and I don’t know if I give a fuck

about making the same mistakes.

But anyway I went off topic and let me get back to it.

For a while this was pain for me

for worrying what others think of me

and that’s the weakness in me.

But I had to find a way escape this mental pain

when she choose another guy over me ( read I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1) andI Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

for full story).

So I blamed and hated myself and blamed God for not

getting hard.

But it’s whatever

because I realized there is better

and I’m talking about better vagina.

I pushed my integrity out the window

and paid for professionals.

Fuck passion and romance

getting my dick sucked and rough sex

became my best friends.

and sex with average girls became overrated.

Instead of letting them judge me,

I decided to judge them

and thought women were worthless

and do I still feel this way, hmm I honestly don’t know?

My lack of sex skills had me despising black women

and I am going to be honest,

I was in my emotions

acting sensitive like a little bitch

but I reminded my self

that I was a man

and I’m suppose to think with logic

and this time period for me

was difficult like algebraic expressions

so I found a way to simplify it

by reminding myself sex is overrated

and reminding myself of that

defined my mentality

like I was looking up something

in a Websters dictionary.

I was told

“Love is a serious mental diseases?”

“So hate is my weapon to conquer my enemy

because being hateful is selfish

and selfish people usually have the biggest hearts

and been through the worst type of heart breaks.”

This was something I just learned yesterday.

I will be more selfish

tomorrow for hating my yesterday

and today I received a present

a got a small heart to fit in my body.

So I’m an writing this to present

my soul for you to witness.

I can write for so long

you would think I am immortal.

My thoughts are for free, they are affordable

like united healthcare

but in reality it’s worth more

than any coin or dollar.

Was told plenty of times

my poetry is deep and powerful

so I hope when you read this

I helped you witness a miracle.

Now I can’t turn water into wine

but maybe I can save you from

committing a crime

or exiting out of somebody’s life

over some fucked up shit

because don’t be like I.

I am here to change lives

like a inmate on beyond scare straight

doing life

but I doubt if I would,

before I die.

Fuck wishing to be a billionaire,

I would rather die broke tomorrow

if tonight I can save a life.

As you can see, I can write all day

and all night

like an inmate, have nothing but time.

But what happens after I finish telling my life experiences?

So my question is, will I have another poem left in me

and when my work is complete, should I take my

life story to recite to an open mic?

I still have more to write and I think I will get darker and deeper. I think one day in the distant future, I will recite this to a large crowd to save people from becoming like me.

So when you reading this an imaging that you are a pastor or therapist, how would you respond?(No need to answer this question but its is something think about or even discuss with somebody else you close with)

But I will leave three questions for you to answer in the comment section

  1. After reading this, what are three words to describe this poem?

  2. Can you get your heart broken if you are a selfish person?

  3. While you were reading this, the statements I left in quotes, did you learn anything new or was everything relatable?

  4. I am always willing to learn so is there anything you would like to share about his or if you have a view point about something that I mentioned, feel free to comment below

  5. Also comment below if you have a good deep question for me to think about and I am willing to respond.

Image result for how i feel

And

Image result for how i feel

How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie(Part 2)

Before you read this, I highly recommend you ready How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie first. I share my very personal thoughts in poetry format cut and dry and I don’t give a fuck. Through out this poem, I will have some sentences in bold in this poem because those are the quotes that are most powerful lessons that I learned

I can write for days

while you observe

the pain on my face.

Plus I’m poor

like a report card

with bad grades.

“Myself, I choose to isolate

and use to do it

to keep my heart safe

but it just increased the rage

and I write poetry to release frustration.

to keep my head straight.”

I can snap at any given time

and space

and I’m sure some of you can relate.

I mean how much can a muthfucka take?

It’s sad when you ain’t

comfortable at your home base.

I zone out and stare off into space

wishing somebody else can take my place.

I use to wonder why I never had so many dates?

As I got older, I was like fuck a date,

paying for sex was the way.

For those of you that follow me,

I mentioned this in so many ways.

So many ways I can express my hate.

I hate a person that always thinks he/she right.

Thinking their opinion only matters in life.

I hate a person that’s tight

with money in their hand.

“I know people that will help a stranger

before a family member

or friend.

Loyal to the wrong person

until they are betrayed

and now back to family

they complaining expressing their hurt

and this is how life works,

the ones that don’t have it like that

will give you their last

and the ones that got it like that

are tight with it.”

It hurts because money rules the world.

I said over and over

“Loyalty push to the side when the price is right

and it been like this

way before Bob Barker’s time.”

Judas betrayed Jesus

for 30 silver pieces

way way before social media existed.

“Performing miracles isn’t impressive

because money is the real magic.”

Mind is playing tricks

falling victim to the devil’s wish

selling him your body and soul

and you just became his trick

and he pimps

you out to be worldly.

“Is worshiping God boring?

If the answer is yes

is this the reason

why more people go to hell then heaven?

How can we make worshiping God more exciting?”

Excitement comes three times,

when the dick is hard,

when the pussy is wet,

and when money involved.

Its an addiction we can’t stop.

If money was promised

to every person

that go to church on Sunday,

more people would be worshiping God.

Wouldn’t you agree?

See how this is fake pretending?

People only around to seek cheese

until you speak up and say no.

Behind your back

they make fun of the way you speak

after they take your money.

A few post back I said

“Same niggas they say

“Money over pussy”

put

“Pussy over family””.

Mothers out there fucking their son’s

right hand man to receive money in their hand.

Some mothers fuck for free.

If one of my friends

fucked my mother he dying for free.

“But I don’t have friends,

I have family.

So another words,

never trust a friend

because they can never be family.”

Friends are temporary like the temp agency.

We chase the wrong ones,

chasing the popularity.

“As a kid in high school,

was told talking to bitches

was what make you popular

because niggas want bitches

and bitches want niggas

that are popular

and being around fine bitches

is what make niggas popular.”

“High school is popularity chasing and chasing

something is a full time job

which is time consuming

and chasing too hard for something

will get you nothing”.

“Chasing too hard for something

will have trying

to pretend to be someone you not”.

It will make you look eve more corny.

Like a comedian trying to hard to be funny?

“Sometimes good things will come naturally

but we hate patience with a passion

and this destroys us spiritually

and we disconnect with God

and feel empty

like being in a relationship with somebody

w/o the chemistry.

But we get comfortable in solitary

so avoiding communicating

leads to cheating

and looking over your shoulder

to make sure you don’t get caught.

But we just students and bad experience

is the teacher but some students

don’t listen

so we try avoiding

getting caught

but being lucky isn’t guaranteed”

I will reiterate that

“Sometimes good things will come naturally

but we hate patience with a passion

and this destroys us spiritually

and we disconnect with God

and feel empty

like being in a relationship with somebody

w/o the chemistry.

But we get comfortable in solitary

so avoiding communicating

leads to cheating

and looking over your shoulder

to make sure you don’t get caught.

But we just students and bad experience

is the teacher but some students

don’t listen

so we try avoiding

getting caught

but being lucky isn’t guaranteed”

What is guaranteed?

Taxes, death

but what else is left?

Never guaranteed life

but we guaranteed

we will die the moment

you planted inside a woman.

Not guarantee to see life

some cells never make out the vagina

Some lives die inside but did God do those lives a favor?

Life is not sweet like candy

you’ll either will learn this now or later.

Either way it don’t matter

because I’m still bitter.

This is more than a long poem

I’m expressing true life emotions

and I’m doing ya a favor. I

tell the cold hard truth

and the amount of people that lie

you’ll see that the crowd is wide

like an angle that’s obtuse.

Lies we get so use to

we don’t believe it

when we actually meet a person

that tells the truth.

My poetry might not be great

but it speaks the truth

even if it embarrasses my personality.

So much to say

I have alot to say

I can write for days

while you observe the pain on my face.

My hidden emotions is my excuse

to how I became a talent poet

and I can tell a life story better than fresh prince

But what happens after I finish telling my life experiences?

So my question is, will I have another poem left in me

after this get uploaded?

I will upload a part 3 and maybe a part 4 .

Pussy Over Family

Niggas that say “paper over pussy”

will put pussy over family.

Nigga will fuck his brother wife

if attracted to thickness on her thighs.

Loyalty in the family is a disguise

when the right pussy is the prize. Like an inmate serving double life

his mind is a prison locked

and lustful thoughts are the cages

trapped inside his mind.

Money gives him too much pride

but pussy just made him a sucker for life

when his brother walks in the room

while he is inside his wife.

Pussy is addictive if your mind isn’t handled right

Where Have You Been?

I normally write thought provoking poems but his is one of my more painful and darker poems. Before you read, if you are curious to know more about me, click on this link Who Am I?

Shit felt like yesterday when I was looking for you.
Alot of painful thoughts, late nights praying to you.
I was going thru scriptures in the bible trying to find answers.
A non-response from you left me drowning in deep water.
Now three years later, I now understand what it feels like
Overthinking during the sleepless nights and you was teaching me to hang tight.
Inexperience had me at a disadvantage, almost felt worthless when got my heart broken.
So instead of praying, I looked at every woman as a enemy.
I hated bitches and thought they wasn’t shit and was only worth dick.
I had the wrong type of thinking, at first I tried praying to you but you wasn’t listening.
Your distance has me wanting to seek revenge
so paying for sex was my healing.
The orgasm was addictive and even to this day I still need healing from masturbating.
The more I kept praying, the more I kept overeating.
My heart was like engine that was overheating.
It stopped beating and operating.
It was broken and dead and I held a grudge against you.

Why did you abandoned me when she destroyed me?
Why did you allow her to?
Everytime I look in the mirror I cried tears of pain?
I was really starting to hate you?
You said to cast our my anxiety since you care for me
but you left me drowning in the pool.

I made plenty of mistakes but my heart was in the right place.
Needed help since I experienced love a little late.
I prayed for the right path, but I fell in love at the wrong time and place.
Before I knew, I wasn’t doing things that I shouldn’t.
My only concern was to obtain a proper ejaculation even if it was premature.
Lack of erections had me feeling like a politician losing the election.
A gentleman but yet felt like a loser.
Got tired of this feeling, so went to the doctor
for Viagra.
Felt good to satisfy her needs, but dependent on a pill and I was only 24?
I blamed myself and hated myself.
I had thoughts wondering if I was corny?
I had thoughts wondering should I be lonely?
I had alot of potential in my personality
but you made me antisocial.
I feared being laughed so till this day
still don’t know how to be sociable.
Every time I think about it, made me sick.
I was ashamed of my dick.
I fought this battle alone
and you didn’t defend me.
The klove songs no longer lifted me
It made me empty.
Strippers were the remedy.
I just wanted easy women and hated women
that were classy.
But this wasn’t the proper thinking.
I looked up to but then I started to hate you like an enemy.
Because of the summer of 2015 was my worst memory.
I think bitches are the enemy.
I became a selfish because I don’t care to satisfy a bitch needs.
Now I’m quick to tell a bitch to cheat
if my dick can’t stay hard
I don’t give a fuck.

Why did you abandoned me when she destroyed me?
Why did you allow her to?
Everytime I look in the mirror I cried tears of pain?
I was really starting to hate you?
You said to cast our my anxiety since you care for me
but you left me drowning in the pool

To get the Full Story please read I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1) and I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

How Much Does Falling In Love Cost You?

They say love don’t cost a thing

but do they tell you

love will make you scarfice alot of things?

Things like freedom, time, and money.

If love don’t cost a thing

why isn’t finding love guaranteed?

Something you can have for free

can affect you emotionally.

Attached to a human body physically

can confuse you mentally

since men and women think differently

when being intimate psychically

Love is like dreams

because it comes freely

but the difference is love betray,

turns into hate

and consumes and destroys you mentally

What’s for free is seek by many

and almost every.

Love come from the heart

and love is for free.

When we don’t work for something,

we don’t appreciate it until it’s gone.

Sometimes love is our enemy

making you hate yourself

for the pain you felt.

Imagine a f6 tornado

lifting up your house

and throwing it 300 miles away.

This is equivalent to the pain

as you watch you home get tossed away

The heart is never in a safe place.

When falling in love

it’s like asking somebody to not spit in my face

for a million dollars

and you hoping they won’t do it.

Remember this

the ones that treat you the nicest

in the beginning of a new relationship

be the most ruthless.

Love is poisoned

if not handled right.

Seeking desperate attention

from every girl and guy

Instead of remembering

that God is on your side.

Love is punishment that’s unbearable

because the hear is breakable.

The pain that comes with it

is not visible

so they say love is blind.

The light of love is so bright

you have to close your eyes.

Driving on highway very sleepy

fighting to keep you eyes open

but can’t help it

then crash and get into an accident

and the accident is atrocious.

Just didn’t see it coming.

We only see whats tangible

so attraction is more common then love.

We see nice clothes nice body, shit load of money

and without this,

people assume you boring.

People judge you

before they get to know you.

Looks fade, clothes get old,

and money will make you feel cheap.

Materialistic things will buy you a personality

and its only temporary.

Materialistic things buys swags

but destroys communications and integrity.

I know people that won’t care

if the whole world goes poor

as long as they eating.

So commonly we fall in love with the selfish

and yet ignore the humble

that will give you everything

We don’t give a fuck when we break hearts

we only care if our hearts get broken.

The black people that are mild

are now smoking

from being called a ‘nigga’ by a racists

This is the equivalent

of the aftermath of being heartbroken.

What Is A Talent That You Love To Do?

Poetry is my heart and soul

Being a poet is my ultimate goal

I can view things in any direction.

God blessed me with an imagination

I break down words and dissect them.

I provide lessons and deep questions.

I’m imagining my writing being published.

Life around me is poetic

I can write 2 poems in day

Hell I can write 2 poems at a time.

I just need the space.

I just need the time.

Like a crossword puzzle

the words I will find.

Like a detective digging for clues

to solve a crime.

Dig into my mind

and my pencil is a shovel

as I write.

I want to be the best poet of all time

by writing whats right

and my style is I write

how I feel.

Like wheel of fortunate

each line on paper is blank

and the words I fill

until I completely express how I feel.

Words can kill

and I can slay

but words are uplifting

and I can heal.

I can’t even explain

how I do it.

All I know is I was blessed with a talent.

With pure silence

I find the zone when I’m alone.

close my eyes

like Dorthy for wanting to go back home.

Every situation I bring to light

like a document you can’t see in the dark.

As long as the pencil point is sharp

I will write poetry

until the beat inside my heart stops.

A New Man

A new lifestyle I must adjust to.
With very few to talk to
There was something I had to do.
I made a change for the better or at least I thought so.
Not much of a difference in my presence,
but at least I  learned my lessons.
The result wasn’t what I thought so.
Like quicksand, my life is sinking below.
My heart is happy but my mind worn out.
My heart is friendly but my mind is full of doubt.
In between confident and unconfident.
I made a decision and to myself I’m being honest
but to others I  am still being dishonest.
Swear life moves faster than sonic
because time is running out.
As time moves faster I am a poor farmer going through  a drought .
Lacking funds in my bank account makes the thoughts on my brain becomes loud.
So much I want to accomplish but what’s holding me back.
I don’t smoke crack and I’m not afraid to be black
but why does it feel like I am stuck in a trap?
My peers run past me on the track more than twice I have been lapped.
Be like a Malcom X who was brave but I  have the mentality of a slave.
Feel like others are robots  flying in space and here I am living in a cave.
Why am I so afraid?
My life is precipitation coming from the sky and I just watch it go down the drain in shame.
Thirty years ago and older at my age people my age were having babies.
Have been concerned for my future lately.
At my age I pray for my safety  and for that I am grateful
but I thought I would of been further so I am becoming hateful.
I lift weights and run to subdue my hate but it might be too late.
Like a violent inmate being stuck inside makes me more  to retaliate.
I am turtle trying to escape the darkness
So I hide in my shell but I  am still surrounded by darkness.
My feelings still trying to get in touch and acknowledge.
Prayed to God I don’t see myself falling as I look up to the sky.
Maybe this explains all the years I have been really really shy.
Learned not to follow others lead or let others follow mine.
Jealously is more common than loyalty most don’t want to see you shine.
I now see  rebuilding myself to get destroyed but ironically  the negativity I still choose to avoid.
There is still a little hope so no I won’t sell dope.
Life right now is stressful as I look at myself in the rest room.
Too much to multitask, so much to do.
But I will let angels guide me because I do have a plan to become a new man.
Maybe right this is just a tough battle and I will win the war.
Now I’m weak like cattle but I will have the strength of a boar.

How I View Life To Survive

My charisma contagious
Smile is priceless
but my soul is spacious
and refuse to sell it.
Been told mind is esoteric
Prelisten to speculations
of the public
which eventually made me
gregarious.
Reasons, there are various
why I remain benevolent
when the world is violent.
My habits perceived to be
idiosyncratic.
A role model
but yet not too didactic.
Reform situations
from being complicated to idyllic.
Must be concise and pacific
when articulating.
It’s not magic.
Think of it
more as recycling.
Mistakes is data on a flash drive
and my memory is saving.
To save is to prevent talent wasting
habits
I refuse to be redundant.
Resistant like a criminal
with an unexpected arrest warrant.
Nobody listens when it doesn’t benefit
their needs or attention.
so you get paid no attention
and receive no support
and easily falling apart
like a Skeleton without glue and wire.
But negative attention, we receive more than plenty.
Laughed at, being called a dummy, nasty, ugly a big baby.
Before the body is affected physically,
a stigma harms mentally.
We terrified of bullies, but we are our own worst enemies.
A second to view your reflection
will put you in a lifetime depression.
Daydreaming of hearing “You won”
gives us an obsession.
But it’s devastating, never satisfied with
being second
because we all want to be number one.
We all experience rejection.
Some of us let it go
Some of us fall victims of addictions
when we can’t handle afflictions.
A war that becomes mental
and your heart go cold.
It’s a race to seek revenge
since you have static
with the scapegoat
that left you heartbroken.