How Much Does Falling In Love Cost You?

They say love don’t cost a thing

but do they tell you

love will make you scarfice alot of things?

Things like freedom, time, and money.

If love don’t cost a thing

why isn’t finding love guaranteed?

Something you can have for free

can affect you emotionally.

Attached to a human body physically

can confuse you mentally

since men and women think differently

when being intimate psychically

Love is like dreams

because it comes freely

but the difference is love betray,

turns into hate

and consumes and destroys you mentally

What’s for free is seek by many

and almost every.

Love come from the heart

and love is for free.

When we don’t work for something,

we don’t appreciate it until it’s gone.

Sometimes love is our enemy

making you hate yourself

for the pain you felt.

Imagine a f6 tornado

lifting up your house

and throwing it 300 miles away.

This is equivalent to the pain

as you watch you home get tossed away

The heart is never in a safe place.

When falling in love

it’s like asking somebody to not spit in my face

for a million dollars

and you hoping they won’t do it.

Remember this

the ones that treat you the nicest

in the beginning of a new relationship

be the most ruthless.

Love is poisoned

if not handled right.

Seeking desperate attention

from every girl and guy

Instead of remembering

that God is on your side.

Love is punishment that’s unbearable

because the hear is breakable.

The pain that comes with it

is not visible

so they say love is blind.

The light of love is so bright

you have to close your eyes.

Driving on highway very sleepy

fighting to keep you eyes open

but can’t help it

then crash and get into an accident

and the accident is atrocious.

Just didn’t see it coming.

We only see whats tangible

so attraction is more common then love.

We see nice clothes nice body, shit load of money

and without this,

people assume you boring.

People judge you

before they get to know you.

Looks fade, clothes get old,

and money will make you feel cheap.

Materialistic things will buy you a personality

and its only temporary.

Materialistic things buys swags

but destroys communications and integrity.

I know people that won’t care

if the whole world goes poor

as long as they eating.

So commonly we fall in love with the selfish

and yet ignore the humble

that will give you everything

We don’t give a fuck when we break hearts

we only care if our hearts get broken.

The black people that are mild

are now smoking

from being called a ‘nigga’ by a racists

This is the equivalent

of the aftermath of being heartbroken.

You Make Me Happy

Happy as a dandelion

my wish is fulfilled.

Emotional pain is a challenge

and yet remained humble.

I worshipped your intelligence

when my mind stumbled.

At any occasion

the agony you rebuttal

and provided satisfaction.

Tough like brass knuckles

so you provided compassion.

Dark like a tunnel

and your torch provides satisfaction.

Discovering your light was a miracle

and your character is miraculous.

Your presence is magical

and I’m surrounded

with perpetual passion.

 

 

 

 

Birthday Poem Sent To Me

This poem wasn’t written by me. This poem was given to me by someone who is special to me and this poem will always have a special place in my heart.

“Babe HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!! 🌈🎂🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉 I know to you this is just another day but, today is my man’s birthday and I think he’s a pretty good guy that deserves to have a day that’s special. Although we won’t be seeing each other today, know that I’m excited to celebrate with you 😘😘😘😘. Also here’s a little something that I hope will make you smile:

Dear David Michael Hockaday,
Today you are 28 today.
Not old, just sweeter as you go.
A handsome gentleman, you may have been told.
You are a special kind of guy that deserves the sentimental things in life I can’t lie.
A stellar birthday I hope is in store, a day to show how you should be adored.
You say that you are a simple guy but, that doesn’t mean I can’t explain how you’re as humble as pie.
For people like you, they deserve a birthday parade. With lots of excitement such as young kids in an arcade.
The type that a person willingly wants to give gifts but, upon request a gift from the heart will equip.
I absolutely love the man that you are and praying that me and you will go far.
A place for you I have like a star in the sky, maybe this weekend you can ask me why.
Giving me butterflies while hitting the spot as I say. The main thing I want for you is to enjoy your day.
The point of me sending this poem is to say Happy Birthday David, have a lovely day!”

Letter To My Favorite Person

Dear SweetOne,

Wow I don’t know what to say!
Leaving me speechless.
You thinking about me everyday just gave me confidence.
I’m ready to be exposed to your world
since you are my girl.
Unlike a ven diagram,
know one can compare
to what we share.
Together we will takes chances like we are playing double dare,
but I will keep you safe
like a pistol in a safe.
I can express my love to you in so many ways.
In my heart
you take up 3 quarters.
Your spirit is
fresh like water
without the piranhas.
Our spirits flow together
like a river
and our future destination
gets much clearer.
Clear like a glass
of water.
When your heart
cries heavy precipation,
I’m the pot that
receives your precipitation.
When your heart was
a roof that was leaking,
I save the water tears
and mix it with fire
so the water can start boiling.
I am making you herbal tea
and I want you to start drinking
to show you my love
is sweet like the scent
of peppermint
which deflects all men
that act like snakes and
the rodents
that are addicted to cheese
leaving you in toliet
constipated.
Stuck in pain
and it’s ashame
but I am here
to get rid of the shit
that’s been bothering you
and providing water to you
so you can eliminate constipation
and avoid dehydration.
It’s still raining so let me migrate
your heart
to somewhere warm and safe.
Surround your heart with an air mass
that’s marine tropical
and I am a trade wind
that will blow your mind
all year and all the time.
I want to make you mine.
Heart split in half with a line
that’s big as the equator.
I am here to bring both pieces
back to together
becuase I will lead you
to our heavenly father.
Combine the northen hemisphere
of your heart
and the southern hemipshere
of your heart
Do you see what I’m trying to
do with your heart?
I’m trying to combined
the broken pieces and fix it
to restore your world.

The Pleasure In My Dark Soul

Pay attention
From the heart and soul
I wrote this,
and this poem
by far is the deepest.
Relationship is a test.
A heartbreak is the lesson.
Body needs rest.
Mind has questions.
Heart split into pieces
and each piece
scattered like roaches
in the kitchen
when the lights come one.
Was you prepared for
this lesson on the day
you was born?
I say about 40% of you
reading this are probably
still heartbroken.
Pain we don’t choose
but yet how the fuck
do we accept it?
Ever wonder what was
go through Toni Braxton’s
mind when she wrote
“Breath Again” or
“Another Sad Song”
or Marry J Blige
when she wrote
“I’m going down”.
It’s all a trend.
When you get a chance
give these songs a listen.
What it feels like
to be heartbroken? Broken like egg shells
and going through withdrawals.
Trapped underwater
and it felt like forever.
I couldn’t hold my breath any longer.
Still drowning but occasionally resurface
to be pushed further
into heartache.
A responsibility evaded
will make a dream faded
like a college kid being
told “You ain’t Michael Jordan
so become a janitor”.
It’s like telling your great-grandmother
your too old for romance.
Criticism is constant
and people blame and say
you were being stupid
and get over it.
Those same people are
the biggest hypocrites
when they suffering life problems
because they will call you and
expect you to listen.
It’s a division
between your
mind and heart,
making you bewildered
like figuring out where to
start
when cleaning a messy room.
Pain is intense
like a woman wearing
too much perfume.
Bride and groom
is part of God’s Plan
am I right?
Why is something that is very precious
such a tough fight
like a baby is teething and you trying
to put the baby to sleep at night.
How much is a diamond worth?
What’s more precious,
jewelry or a child’s birth?
Cash corrupts loyalty
and expose greed and jealously.
Misery makes me overwhelmed.
All the shit I been through.
Stress sticking to my mind like glue.
I need relaxation
like a couple on a cruise.
Like soup,
I need something that heals
since stress is like a toxic person
right behind me on my heels.
Life is real and it kills
like cancer.
Stress moves around
like a dancer?
Am I in danger?
I feel like Simba
during the stampede.
My heart breaks
and for years it bleeds
like a girl on her period.
Stress rushes me like
adrenaline.
Ain’t nothing different.
Every day same shit
until death takes me home.
To me pain is historic
like a Maya Angelou poem.
In a world full of thieves
and loyalty made me naive
and oblivious to disloyalty.
Loyalty pushed to the side
like a chick
that’s only purpose to
satisfy’s a niggas dick.
Money and pussy
bullies loyalty
until it no longer has meaning.
An abuse kid with scar and bruises
from beatings
is a mental feeling
when your a slave to loyalty.
So broken
need more flowers
than fried chicken
and place them in the kitchen.
I’m my own hero to the rescue
and I need rest too.
Like A McDonald’s public restroom,
the heart is vacant
and I plan find a way
to keep it occupied.
Reminding myself that my heart scraed
and I should no longer be terrified.
But all I do is tell myself lies.
A heavy load like a man without
ejaculation.
For four weeks,
carrying boulders on my shoulders
for weeks.
Was told complaining was for the weak.
I believe I won’t last long like a man
not having sex in weeks.
Face is wet like pussy
and body is sick and infected
from eating raw meat.
Sleepy,but still writing
because this poem
was calling me.
Words and sentences blending
with a unique style of rhyming.
Lightbulb over my head.
A good feeling like getting some head,
Sparking a light,
so my poem can shine
which excites like a family
welcoming a new-born baby.
But yet, I am here
fighting off habits that are shady.
Gossip and laziness, I’m trying to
detach from my vocabulary.
This poem has mixed feelings
and restore like dental fillings.
Being broken will turn me loose
like a screw or a baby tooth.
“They say heartbreak is short distance
but it feels like long distance
Around the corner
but a week we converse
only a few minutes.
Decrease in the amount of time we spend.
I pretend that I have strength
until the length of me without you extends.
I can’t no longer be more than a friend.”
This is what I think to myself
wishing I was the one that broke your heart
instead of you breaking mine.
Sometimes the thing we humans
hate most is time.
It’s short and never stop
and we struggle to keep up.
So now reaction to my depression
lead me on the roof of a building
Is suicide the objective?
Good question
On a mission like America soldiers
seeking weapons of mass destruction.
I am insatiable for declining
to treasure the rainbow.
Life hard like erections
sometimes I wonder If
Death > > depression?
Phone becomes dry like a desert
and it get worst since you thirst.
Only hear notifications when an email arises,
just waiting for a call or text message
and yet receive nothing.
Do I feel abandoned?
I began to question
Lack of attention is the center
of my attention.
Heartbreak will make you different.
Instead of committing suicide,
I pretend I’m immortal.
I can be untouchable.
Every girl I talk to,
I smile in her face
but my mind says fuck you.
Turn into a player
and break hearts and crumble
them like potato chips.
I don’t give a shit.
Fuck human nature
because it’s too much pressure
wanting to be accepted and liked.
Be making you confused about your identity
like a transvestite.
Fuck a wife and worry about my life
is my motto.
Self-confidence will shoot through the roof
faster than I ever imagined.
I play my strengths to their weakness
like Eve in the Garden
manipulated by the serpent.
A serpent or demon
whatever you wanna call it,
I’m still a savage.
Poison disguised as medicine.
Prince charming
with a soul of a demon.
Fuck forgiveness,
revenge is the mission
through divine intoxication.
Logic or emotion.
Thinking of drinking love potion
while trying to stay focus.
Different choices
determines the outcome of a situation.
An immediate reaction
lead to decisions or using mindful
techniques to determine my destiny.
But still Feeling blue like the child
of Beyoncé.
I’m going “Halfway crazy”
Like Musiq.
Practicing baptism by affusion
Is similar feeling after I got my heartbroken.
I am now born again.

Please read Suicidal Thoughts/In Case Tomorrow Not Promised as well and that is another very deep poem that I may plan to read at an open mic.

1) How relatable is this poem to you?

2) What was your favorite line in this poem?

3) What was the darkest line in this poem?

4) By reading this poem, what was going through your mind?

5) One question that has nothing to do with this poem but summarize in a sentence on how are you different from other bloggers!

Also please listen to “Another Sad Song”, “Breathe Again” by Toni Braxton

Image result for Another sad song toni braxton

Listen to “I’m going down” by Mary J blige

Image result for mary j blige I'm goin down

Listen to “Halfway Crazy” by Musiq.

Image result for musiq half crazy

What, for you, is the difference between “like” and “love?”

Emotions,
So confusing
The way of expression
and communication
between men
and women.
I wonder if
I am just happy
or is when you’re not around
being lonely
is unbearing?
Do I get that warm,flutter feeling?
Or is it more than feelings?
Is my feelings tender
or are they much stronger?
Am I just comfortable
when you keep me
company,
or are you
another person
attached to my body
and I refuse to detach
you from me?
Feelings and liking somebody
comes and go.
Loving somebody grows
deep within your soul
and to stopping
Loving somebody is
trying so hard not
to commit suicide.
To stop liking somebody
is just an ordinary homicide.
But is it simple to
distinguish the two?
Have you ever been
caught in the middle?
Would you say this
situation is difficult?
In deep thought
like trying to solve complex
riddles
emotions playing games with
you
and hide and seek is its
favorite game.
The energy drains
you mentally and physically
searching
But the answer is no where
to be found.
Imagine playing hide and seek
at grand central park
and it’s only
half hour away
until after dark
before park closes.
Trying so hard to stay focus
searching for your soul mate
who is the answer to your riddle.
Now if this person loves you,
she hide but remain close distance
within you
making the hiding spot obvious,
or she escape the park from a different exit
on the other side
and the answer to the riddle
you’ll never find
Or she’ll wait 29 minutes
making you nervous
and appear out of no where
and ask you
“Where you scared?”
Now you wonder is this more than
you can bare?
Do you see how love scares?
because finding her solves the riddle
but your worn out
and now you question this riddle?
Is is worth solving something difficult
or is it better to just play tag
in the school yard and keep it simple?

Passion Vs Dedication(Which one is more important)

What’s more important in a relationship, Passion or Dedication?
What carries the relationship further, Passion or Dedication?
What’s more important as a college student as far as achieving good grades, the Passion or Dedication ?
What’s more important to have when it comes to a job, the dedication or passion?
Is passion nothing without dedication?
Is life boring if you have the dedication without the passion?
If you had to choose between the two as far as all areas in your life such as working, being married, participating in hobbies, extracurricular activities, raising your kids, which would you pick, Passion or Dedication?
What would life be like if you was the only person in the world with passion without dedication as far as living your life but everybody else had dedication without passion to do things in life?
What would the world be like if you was the only person in the world who had the dedication in all areas but no passion in life but everybody else was filled with passion but had no type of dedication whatsoever?
Based on the last 2 questions, if life was how I described based on those last 2 questions, how hard do you think it would be to exist with the rest of the world?

Passion is a feeling intense enthusiasm towards or compelling desire for someone or something

Dedication is a feeling of a very strong support for or loyalty to someone or something

Passion is important. Passion is associated with physical attraction and intense emotional arousal. Passion comes from the heart. Passion comes with romance, and romance makes the relationship or anything you participate in more energetic and activated.

Dedication as well is important. Dedication is associated with honesty, loyalty and scarfice. Dedication comes from your integrity and morals. Dedication comes with good karma(maybe not right away). Dedication will make you trustworthy in the eyes of other people. Dedication builds you character in a positive way

 

In this world, most of us would agree that you need passion and dedication and one can’t exist without the other. Passion and Dedication go hand in hand, but imagine you had to pick one just one, would you rather live in this world without no passion in your heart or no dedication in your character?

Passion Vs Dedication

 

Think about it

 

What Does The Number 7 Mean To Me?

The  number following 6
can be seen in the view of religion
such as the seven deadly sins

Or think worldwide and list
the seven continents.
North America, South America,
Asia, Australia, Europe
and Antarctica

or take it simple and count the days 
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday

as I count how many days in a week
as I write and speak I think
of Isaac Newton and the 7 colors
of the rainbow.
Red orange yellow
blue green indigo
and last but not least violet

But I guess you prefer to talk religion
so sit back listen and pay attention.
God rested on the seventh day.
Vengeance will be 7 times over
for the death of Cain
Seven days of the feast of Passover

Seven pairs of every clean animals
into the ark when God instructed Noah

Mary Magdalene was possessed by seven demons.
Seven spirits of God, Seven Churches
in the book of Revelation.

Seven men in the old testament
starting with Moses, David, Samuel
Shenaiah, Elijah, Elisha, and Igdaliah.
7 * 7 =  age of virgin Mary when Jesus was born.

7 is a prime, 7 is odd.
When I think of 7
I think of God.

I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1)

I just want to let you know that  tomorrow at 6AM, I will be uploading a Christmas poem so make sure to check that out. On Monday December 3, I will upload the answers to the riddle I posted yesterday Who Can Solve This Riddle? and it’s an interesting riddle. For those you that watched Nickelodeon as kid, you might be able to solve my riddle.  I just want to thank all of my followers and God bless you all.  Before reading my story, I will advise for the ones that don’t know me to read Who Am I? to understand what type of person that  I am and I think that will help you make sense of this story. If you have any questions about the story below please comment below

 

 

I will never forget my 25th birthday. 2014 – 2015 I was going through depression. In October 2014, was the first time I got my feelings hurt and went through serve depression and it was over a girl I use to date. But I might as well start from the beginning and this is a long blog just to give you a warning.
Now in October 2014, that was the year that I had lost my great grandmother and also the year that I have lost the love of my love. Now I will admit, it was mostly my fault in which why things ended between us but I had good reasons into which why I broke up with her. 1) because I didn’t want to get her pregnant and 2) I felt like like she wasn’t really into to me like she said she was. So anyway to continue, we broke up but remained friends. While we remained friends, I still had strong feelings for and deep down wanted to be with her but still was satisfied with being friends with her. Throughout the friendship from December 2014 until July 2015, I received nothing but mixed signals from this girl. At first I feel like she wanted to be with me, but then on other days I felt like she wanted nothing to do with me. I am going to talk about all the bullshit I went through for 7 months.
In December 2014 me and my ex was texting. Now my dad told me that he was going away for 3 weeks. So I told my ex, I am happy because I will have the house to myself for 3 weeks. Her exact words were “Nice and you better invite me over to your house”.
I responded “lol nah you can’t”. She responded “Why not lol?” Now at the time I was naive and I thought alright maybe she does wanna come over. So fast forward 2 weeks later on New Years Eve I texted her ” Since you off tomorrow do wanna come over?
She said ” What time?”
I said “At 2, but it don’t matter what time.”
She said “She said well if it don’t matter the time, then I will let you know.” Now in the back off my mind I felt like she didn’t wanna come over because if she really did then she just would of said yes. Next day comes by and I didn’t hear from her. I wished her Happy New Year and she wished me Happy New Year and she never even mentioned come over to my place or anything. So I assumed she was hoping that I didn’t bring it up or hoping I forgot about inviting her over. Even though in the back of my mind I knew she was avoiding coming over to my house, I didn’t make it a big deal though,I let it slide becuase I figured maybe it wasn’t best that we have sex anyway since we just friends.
Fast forward to February 2015, so me and my ex were still friends texting on a regular basis. I wanted to hang out with her before school started in March. So  we were on the phone talking and it was a Sunday. Over the phone, I asked her “Since I’m going back to school soon and I’m gonna be really busy do you wanna hang out this Friday ?” She was hesitant and said “I’ll let you know” So now in my head I’m like wtf like it’s either yes or no you know if you free on Friday or not. So we texted throughout out the week. Now Friday comes and for second I thought about asking her again if she was free for Friday, but then I’m like nah, she said she would let me know so the ball is in her court. So we texted throughout Friday and she never mentioned or got back to me about hanging out for Friday. So now I got a little irritated. So what I did was I purposely waited until two days to bring up the issue. You see, what she was doing was she she says”I’ll let you know” because she really don’t have interest in hanging out with me but she don’t wanna be straight forward she rather string me along. So I decided wait two days because I knew she was hoping I would forget. So two days later which is a Sunday I texted her “You never got back to me about hanging out on Friday” She says ” I was waiting for you to mentioned it” So I said “When I asked you to hang out and you said you let me know” She said”Oh I did, oh I’m so sorry it’s just that I’ve been stressed out this” basically she was giving me bullshit excuses.
Now let’s fast forward to April 2015. I was texting her and I was a little tipsy. She knew I was tipsy so she ask  me do I still have feelings for her. Now I honestly don’t remember what my response to that question was because this happened like three years ago, but one thing that did cross my mind was the fact that as soon as I told her that I was tipsy then she wanna know if I had still had feelings for her. It’s funny because when you tipsy or drunk that’s when the truth comes out. She thought she was slick lol. But anyway this was when the fast and the furious 7 movie came out and I told to her that I plan on seeing fast and the furious movie and your invited if you want to see it. So basically I was leaving it up to her because I was going to see the movie regardless. So she said that she wanted to see it. So I said to her well alright just remind me on Saturday so I won’t forget. I purposely said that to leave the ball in her court because I’m not really trying to chase after nobody too hard. On Saturday surprisingly she texted me ” So we still going to see this movie right?” and I said “yeah “I will pick you up at work.” So I picked her up at work and we go see this movie. The mood was alright for the most part. So after the movie we walking towards my car and I tried to kiss her but she wasn’t feeling the mood. I kissed her for about 5 seconds. I tried to get closer but she stop me, went in the car and closed the door on me. You have no idea how that felt. Like we texted everyday, I was going to church with her family on a regular basis, I would  pick her up from work, and a  week prior she asked me if I still had feelings for her and this is what I get in return. I got pretty pissed off. So on the ride back home it was quiet in the car. I dropped her off home and I was tight. I came to the realization that maybe I should just move on because at this point I felt like there was another guy she was messing with.

I will stop it right here because this is a long story. I know this is confusing and hard to follow and this may seem unorganized but this happened a while ago and I’m trying to remember everything that happened. In case you guys are wondering why I was angry and confused is because throughout the months when my ex and I broke up,  did try to get back with her back in November 2014, but she told me that she needed a break and time to heal because she been heart broken before and I understood that but we agreed that we will remain friends. But as the months went by, I started to think to myself like if she needed time to heal then why are we friends? Either we should just be together or just go our separate ways. I now know that when you  need time to heal from a broken heart you should not remain contact with your ex. For those of you reading this, if you think this is bad, it gets much worst but I will upload the rest of the story next Friday. If any of you are annoyed or pissed off with what was said in this story, I highly recommend you not to read part 2 because it get worst. That’s all I’m gonna say. Part 2 will take place from April 2015 until July 2015 which will lead to my 25th birthday.