My Life

Alot on my mind

Alot to say

Alot of time

to think all day.

I woke up today

felt nervous.

1000 thoughts

on my mind

every single time.

Head is more crowded

than a prison.

My head is a cellblock

and each thought

is a cell.

So narrow, no room

to breathe.

Annoys me like

a kid with a stick

poking me.

Is it misery

As I think suddenly

about the pain

that causes me

an affliction so deep

My faith drowns in

a pool of hate.

Imagine waking up

thinking your car can break

down any moment.

Imagine waking up 5am

on purpose to leave the house

to avoid seeing your parent

Imagine waking up loving

your girlfriend

but regret a relationship

for not having money

in your pocket.

Imagine working 2 jobs

with no days off

and still barely making it.

Imagine waking up

almost damn near 30

and still not independent

compared to your siblings.

Imagine waking up

and addicted to masterbating

because you fear

that you might be lacking

in the sex department

Imagine waking up feeling

disappointed

because you tired of seeing

the same faces.

Imagine waking up

realizing that it’s going

to be a long night of studying

Imagine waking up tired

but can’t take off because

of being broke

and have to make

room in your head to make

plans for your girlfriend.

Imagine waking up

upset with yourself

because you can’t

afford therapy sessions

because insurance

doesn’t cover it.

My body is a rope

and my thoughts

are playing tug of war

with my body.

Peace I get hardily any.

Unforribidden remedies

I seek close distance

but can’t touch.

I realized this in my sleep

when last night I dreamed

I met the former president

“Barack Obama”.

I was at buffalo wild wings

with my sister,

eating wings.

I just happen to look next

to me.

I saw him sitting right next

to me in a booth

with a blue tie matching

his dark blue suit

and black alligator shoes.

He was eating with his

wife “Michelle”.

Barack had a cheeseburger

on his plate.

Then I looked at his face.

I was astonished because

like why would the most famous

black man be a local

buffalo wild wings.

So I’m staring at him

then he stares back at me.

He extends his hands

and says

“I’m Barack and you are?”

When he said that I was beyond

shocked.

I almost fainted.

I got on my knees

and met eye level with his legs

and hugged it.

Now I don’t exactly remember what happened

next but

Barack did tell me

he was preparing for a speech.

I had a million questions to ask him

but my main question to him was

“In 2008 when you won the election,

Was you nervous, did you have doubts

that you wasn’t going to be a good president?”

I never got an answer because I woke up

from my dream.

The example of my dream is my real life.

When I feel like I get closer to accomplishing something,

my doubts consumes me realizing life is harder

than I imagine

and rejection is more common than accomplishments

Why Do I Love You?

My heart bristled

and I dare not speak

but yet thoughts loud

like a whistle

while the right and left

atrium bleeds.

Wet sheets and motivation

fell like leaves from trees.

I beg please while

chasing the shadow.

Everything around me feels

hollow.

Life all of a sudden lost it’s

meaning

and to this day

I’m soaking up the sheets

Been years since I had

a good night sleep.

The puddle I left

was deep

For constantly repeating

memories of answers

that were oblique.

The water I tried to subdue

but mind gave up and let

loose.

Was I being deliberately obtuse?

Because why do I try to pursuit

I’m the one you didn’t choose.

Spiritual showers did not soothe.

Earth showers did not smooth emotions.

Negative energy didn’t get swallowed

by the oceans

Mother nature refused the transformation.

Trapped in Love’s potion.

I believe Cupid pick the wrong person?

Like a human trying to pick up

Thor’ s hammer

I can’t get the arrow off my body

it will always be attached to me.

Devil’s Politics

Devils politics

Technology and musical instruments

Artist perform and articulate lyrics

that help build their image

but destroy human population.

Women became thots and bitches

Symbolized as sex images

Sexual conduct is promoted

and girls are idolizing

the artists and videos

on television

and becoming sex objects

A bad bitch, a gangsta bitch

a baby momma and a diva.

We glorify these sexual personas

Gain friends and popularity

through the use of weed smoking.

That loud, that reffer, that purple haze,

orange kush

Different slang name, but it all does the same

damage in the brain.

Cells leaking out the head like semen

which leading women to abortion clinics,

children being neglected and a growth of single parents.

Husband and Wife is conservative

Baby momma and Baby daddy is the alternative

and over the years it became repetitive.

Shit sometimes a life is created out of a situationship

since marriage is damn near facing extinction.

Marriage is the bald eagle

Situationship is the pigeon that shit on relationships like car windows.

Peak inside the window at a isolated area

and you’ll see weed smoke and foggy windows.

Foggy windows could be viewed on porn sites.

The site that turns making love into a foreign concept.

Regular intercourse we overrate for focusing only on the body

instead of the intimacy.

The bonding hormone released at orgasm is released during masturbation ,when no one is present

so the bonding hormone we was all blessed with, stop having it’s effect.

Now privacy and safety is at risk and exposed to children

for falling victims to sexual offenders

and a quarter of teenagers been bullied through the internet or texting

and a select few have participated in sexting.

Devils strategy is to create a false sense of reality.

Schemed demonology mislead the population strategically.

Evil rarely detectable, its defined as a malicious tactic in stealth mode like a fighter plane.

Devils is the president that’s winning

every election

and fallen angles are the corrupted politicans in the house of Congress

utilizing musical instruments and technology.

Comment below if you can think of ways how music and technology affect society?

How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie(Part 2)

Before you read this, I highly recommend you ready How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie first. I share my very personal thoughts in poetry format cut and dry and I don’t give a fuck. Through out this poem, I will have some sentences in bold in this poem because those are the quotes that are most powerful lessons that I learned

I can write for days

while you observe

the pain on my face.

Plus I’m poor

like a report card

with bad grades.

“Myself, I choose to isolate

and use to do it

to keep my heart safe

but it just increased the rage

and I write poetry to release frustration.

to keep my head straight.”

I can snap at any given time

and space

and I’m sure some of you can relate.

I mean how much can a muthfucka take?

It’s sad when you ain’t

comfortable at your home base.

I zone out and stare off into space

wishing somebody else can take my place.

I use to wonder why I never had so many dates?

As I got older, I was like fuck a date,

paying for sex was the way.

For those of you that follow me,

I mentioned this in so many ways.

So many ways I can express my hate.

I hate a person that always thinks he/she right.

Thinking their opinion only matters in life.

I hate a person that’s tight

with money in their hand.

“I know people that will help a stranger

before a family member

or friend.

Loyal to the wrong person

until they are betrayed

and now back to family

they complaining expressing their hurt

and this is how life works,

the ones that don’t have it like that

will give you their last

and the ones that got it like that

are tight with it.”

It hurts because money rules the world.

I said over and over

“Loyalty push to the side when the price is right

and it been like this

way before Bob Barker’s time.”

Judas betrayed Jesus

for 30 silver pieces

way way before social media existed.

“Performing miracles isn’t impressive

because money is the real magic.”

Mind is playing tricks

falling victim to the devil’s wish

selling him your body and soul

and you just became his trick

and he pimps

you out to be worldly.

“Is worshiping God boring?

If the answer is yes

is this the reason

why more people go to hell then heaven?

How can we make worshiping God more exciting?”

Excitement comes three times,

when the dick is hard,

when the pussy is wet,

and when money involved.

Its an addiction we can’t stop.

If money was promised

to every person

that go to church on Sunday,

more people would be worshiping God.

Wouldn’t you agree?

See how this is fake pretending?

People only around to seek cheese

until you speak up and say no.

Behind your back

they make fun of the way you speak

after they take your money.

A few post back I said

“Same niggas they say

“Money over pussy”

put

“Pussy over family””.

Mothers out there fucking their son’s

right hand man to receive money in their hand.

Some mothers fuck for free.

If one of my friends

fucked my mother he dying for free.

“But I don’t have friends,

I have family.

So another words,

never trust a friend

because they can never be family.”

Friends are temporary like the temp agency.

We chase the wrong ones,

chasing the popularity.

“As a kid in high school,

was told talking to bitches

was what make you popular

because niggas want bitches

and bitches want niggas

that are popular

and being around fine bitches

is what make niggas popular.”

“High school is popularity chasing and chasing

something is a full time job

which is time consuming

and chasing too hard for something

will get you nothing”.

“Chasing too hard for something

will have trying

to pretend to be someone you not”.

It will make you look eve more corny.

Like a comedian trying to hard to be funny?

“Sometimes good things will come naturally

but we hate patience with a passion

and this destroys us spiritually

and we disconnect with God

and feel empty

like being in a relationship with somebody

w/o the chemistry.

But we get comfortable in solitary

so avoiding communicating

leads to cheating

and looking over your shoulder

to make sure you don’t get caught.

But we just students and bad experience

is the teacher but some students

don’t listen

so we try avoiding

getting caught

but being lucky isn’t guaranteed”

I will reiterate that

“Sometimes good things will come naturally

but we hate patience with a passion

and this destroys us spiritually

and we disconnect with God

and feel empty

like being in a relationship with somebody

w/o the chemistry.

But we get comfortable in solitary

so avoiding communicating

leads to cheating

and looking over your shoulder

to make sure you don’t get caught.

But we just students and bad experience

is the teacher but some students

don’t listen

so we try avoiding

getting caught

but being lucky isn’t guaranteed”

What is guaranteed?

Taxes, death

but what else is left?

Never guaranteed life

but we guaranteed

we will die the moment

you planted inside a woman.

Not guarantee to see life

some cells never make out the vagina

Some lives die inside but did God do those lives a favor?

Life is not sweet like candy

you’ll either will learn this now or later.

Either way it don’t matter

because I’m still bitter.

This is more than a long poem

I’m expressing true life emotions

and I’m doing ya a favor. I

tell the cold hard truth

and the amount of people that lie

you’ll see that the crowd is wide

like an angle that’s obtuse.

Lies we get so use to

we don’t believe it

when we actually meet a person

that tells the truth.

My poetry might not be great

but it speaks the truth

even if it embarrasses my personality.

So much to say

I have alot to say

I can write for days

while you observe the pain on my face.

My hidden emotions is my excuse

to how I became a talent poet

and I can tell a life story better than fresh prince

But what happens after I finish telling my life experiences?

So my question is, will I have another poem left in me

after this get uploaded?

I will upload a part 3 and maybe a part 4 .

Where Have You Been?

I normally write thought provoking poems but his is one of my more painful and darker poems. Before you read, if you are curious to know more about me, click on this link Who Am I?

Shit felt like yesterday when I was looking for you.
Alot of painful thoughts, late nights praying to you.
I was going thru scriptures in the bible trying to find answers.
A non-response from you left me drowning in deep water.
Now three years later, I now understand what it feels like
Overthinking during the sleepless nights and you was teaching me to hang tight.
Inexperience had me at a disadvantage, almost felt worthless when got my heart broken.
So instead of praying, I looked at every woman as a enemy.
I hated bitches and thought they wasn’t shit and was only worth dick.
I had the wrong type of thinking, at first I tried praying to you but you wasn’t listening.
Your distance has me wanting to seek revenge
so paying for sex was my healing.
The orgasm was addictive and even to this day I still need healing from masturbating.
The more I kept praying, the more I kept overeating.
My heart was like engine that was overheating.
It stopped beating and operating.
It was broken and dead and I held a grudge against you.

Why did you abandoned me when she destroyed me?
Why did you allow her to?
Everytime I look in the mirror I cried tears of pain?
I was really starting to hate you?
You said to cast our my anxiety since you care for me
but you left me drowning in the pool.

I made plenty of mistakes but my heart was in the right place.
Needed help since I experienced love a little late.
I prayed for the right path, but I fell in love at the wrong time and place.
Before I knew, I wasn’t doing things that I shouldn’t.
My only concern was to obtain a proper ejaculation even if it was premature.
Lack of erections had me feeling like a politician losing the election.
A gentleman but yet felt like a loser.
Got tired of this feeling, so went to the doctor
for Viagra.
Felt good to satisfy her needs, but dependent on a pill and I was only 24?
I blamed myself and hated myself.
I had thoughts wondering if I was corny?
I had thoughts wondering should I be lonely?
I had alot of potential in my personality
but you made me antisocial.
I feared being laughed so till this day
still don’t know how to be sociable.
Every time I think about it, made me sick.
I was ashamed of my dick.
I fought this battle alone
and you didn’t defend me.
The klove songs no longer lifted me
It made me empty.
Strippers were the remedy.
I just wanted easy women and hated women
that were classy.
But this wasn’t the proper thinking.
I looked up to but then I started to hate you like an enemy.
Because of the summer of 2015 was my worst memory.
I think bitches are the enemy.
I became a selfish because I don’t care to satisfy a bitch needs.
Now I’m quick to tell a bitch to cheat
if my dick can’t stay hard
I don’t give a fuck.

Why did you abandoned me when she destroyed me?
Why did you allow her to?
Everytime I look in the mirror I cried tears of pain?
I was really starting to hate you?
You said to cast our my anxiety since you care for me
but you left me drowning in the pool

To get the Full Story please read I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1) and I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

How Much Does Falling In Love Cost You?

They say love don’t cost a thing

but do they tell you

love will make you scarfice alot of things?

Things like freedom, time, and money.

If love don’t cost a thing

why isn’t finding love guaranteed?

Something you can have for free

can affect you emotionally.

Attached to a human body physically

can confuse you mentally

since men and women think differently

when being intimate psychically

Love is like dreams

because it comes freely

but the difference is love betray,

turns into hate

and consumes and destroys you mentally

What’s for free is seek by many

and almost every.

Love come from the heart

and love is for free.

When we don’t work for something,

we don’t appreciate it until it’s gone.

Sometimes love is our enemy

making you hate yourself

for the pain you felt.

Imagine a f6 tornado

lifting up your house

and throwing it 300 miles away.

This is equivalent to the pain

as you watch you home get tossed away

The heart is never in a safe place.

When falling in love

it’s like asking somebody to not spit in my face

for a million dollars

and you hoping they won’t do it.

Remember this

the ones that treat you the nicest

in the beginning of a new relationship

be the most ruthless.

Love is poisoned

if not handled right.

Seeking desperate attention

from every girl and guy

Instead of remembering

that God is on your side.

Love is punishment that’s unbearable

because the hear is breakable.

The pain that comes with it

is not visible

so they say love is blind.

The light of love is so bright

you have to close your eyes.

Driving on highway very sleepy

fighting to keep you eyes open

but can’t help it

then crash and get into an accident

and the accident is atrocious.

Just didn’t see it coming.

We only see whats tangible

so attraction is more common then love.

We see nice clothes nice body, shit load of money

and without this,

people assume you boring.

People judge you

before they get to know you.

Looks fade, clothes get old,

and money will make you feel cheap.

Materialistic things will buy you a personality

and its only temporary.

Materialistic things buys swags

but destroys communications and integrity.

I know people that won’t care

if the whole world goes poor

as long as they eating.

So commonly we fall in love with the selfish

and yet ignore the humble

that will give you everything

We don’t give a fuck when we break hearts

we only care if our hearts get broken.

The black people that are mild

are now smoking

from being called a ‘nigga’ by a racists

This is the equivalent

of the aftermath of being heartbroken.

Sex Is Blind

Sex is blind

wrong place and wrong time

The sun rise and we get wet

until the sun set

and now the heart is dead.

Your life stops.

We stuck in a box

inside a room

and no room for the lock.

An activity have you hypnotized.

We don’t know why

but don’t fight our addiction

digging deeper to affliction

for selling our soul to the demon.

It’s such a weakness and you got to have it.

Neglecting responsibilities is more than a bad habit

Skip over our main duties and hop over them

lie rabbits chasing a carrot.

At first this was not what you was looking for

but now when you receive it, you always want more.

Attitude change in a heartbeat

when the orgasm approaches.

Set on fire like Olympic torches

but the more you get it,

the more you lose focus

on your main responsibilities

blind and eventually you’ll fold.

Even though hell is hot,

the devil is cold

as he plays

capture the flag

with your soul,

manipulating your mind

at any given time

allowing him to be the pilot

and your mind on auto pilot.

A robot in progress

and can’t help the poor choices

from being quiet to becoming boisterous

This is what happens when the sex is perfect.

We tend to ignore the characteristics of a person,

making excuses, excusing their poor behavior

for their excellent performance in the sex department.

Their toxic ways is neglected since we are blinded

because we think their sex is like medicine

but’s its an alcoholic beverage.

One day after being left stranded

in the cold in the middle of the night

for being heartbroken

thinking about all scarfices

you think back to all your decisions.

Once tears dry, you realize you were being stupid.

You ask yourself ” What was I thinking “

well I’m here to tell you that

you wasn’t thinking

because love is always mistaken

for just being good sex all the time.

Just like love, sex as well is blind.

Friendzoned

Trapped in that territory
Helpless in the face of destiny
No escape out the burning building
Heart on fire and it keeps on burning
Accept that lost
Knowing that you was so close
Like a second place loser
Its okay because at least she love you like a brother

Can We Truly Get Rid Of Our Demons?

I sleep in peace

and wake up to the nightmare.

Always nervous and scared

While comparing my life to double dare.

The environment I cannot bare.

In the mirror I just stare

and pretend to be brave.

But I ‘m scared.

My luck is no where

and bad luck is everywhere.

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out.

I no longer shed tears.

My balls is a waste of a pair.

I choose not to share

my deepest fears

since no one is near

to hear my fears.

In a world surrounded with snipers

and I am the deer.

Sometimes I dare

to let God to let me

live another day.

I wake up miserable and ashamed

Doesn’t the lord see the pain in my face?

I’m held back since I am part of the African American race.

I keep quiet so I don’t sound like I’m making excuses to some.

But being poor plus misery together,

just add the sum.

So miserable I become numb.

No matter how many scriptures I read,

I will always feel senseless.

The more I pray, the more

I feel like it’s meaningless.

Trust is pointless.

I was born a sinner

so I choose to be devious

because what’s healthy for us

seems to be tedious.

Life is supposed to be gorgeous

but I find it hideous.

How can I be cautious

when I haven’t slayed my demons?

The nightmare of living

and I wish I was dreaming.

My heart is in prison

serving a life sentence.

My mind is in hell burning

like the soul of Stalin.

Life is lonely when dick ridding

is something your constantly refusing.

Social media is the devils technology

and it’s an addiction

Instead of family,

social media become our guardians

guiding us in the wrong direction

like a broken compass.

Love and social media

have one thing in common.

The blindness of each of them

is contagious, harming generations.

Decision made of off emotions

Instead of logic.

Toxic like drunk driving.

We follow with our hearts,

but leave our brain behind

to get caught up in a bind.

Common problem is communication.

Basic skills like talking and listening

we learn in kindergarten

is forgotten.

Greed and ignorance is recurrent

leading sinners to sin

instead of asking forgiveness.

The more technology advances,

the diminish of communication

becomes more prominent.

Life becomes faster paced

and we struggle to keep up.

We are forced to be robots

In life and the program we follow is unpredictable.

So can we blame hypocrites for being hypocritical?

Technology increase the ignorance

but in reality ignorance always been existent.

This type of living is ancient,

Youtube and WorldStar

just made the ignorance

more prominent.

Life is violent now and it was violent back then.

The devil is our best customer

and demons behind him march

like American soldiers.

We pricing scanning our souls

when the price is right.

Desperate for a better life,

So we close the good book

for a better outside look.

Looks do fade,

and our bodies go out of business

because the devil found somebody else

to implicate in sin

since he already fooled you.

Now have you serving a life sentence,

now your soul burning.

Money causes a fire that can’t be

sprayed with extinguisher.

Money is the root

Jealously and hate is the stem

Bullets and HIV is the

and the dead body is the flower.

Demonstration of being a slave

to the devils power.

Power conquers

by using divide and conqueror.

So many people are modern day

Julius Caesars.

Men and women blame each other,

exposing each other on social media.

“Men are Trash”, “These Hoes Ain’t loyal”.

Children of God are so spoiled

and we are all disloyal.

Blaming each other on Social Media

Instead of helping each other.

The followers don’t care about your problems

they just entertaining your drama

and this is why I fear of having a daughter

because when years pass by it’s gonna get worst.

We as humans are overworked
Tired to the bone.
Stressed out for feeling alone.
Thoughts deep
like the voice of baritones.
Life is long but yet its short.
Time move slow when your bored
and alone.

But move fast when your under pressure
like a single father with 4 daughters.
I ask lord to forgive me for my sins
I’m devastated.
Lonely nights, so me and my hand got acquainted.
Drinking alcohol to subdue the pain until I fainted.
I look in the mirror and I ain’t shave in a minute.
My beard 6 inches long, I look wasted.
Time is precious
but I ain’t been happy in a minute.
Asking for forgiveness is complicated
because I ain’t forgive myself.
Upset like criminal
because parents refuse to post bail.
Anger consumes me and it’s an unconquerable
enemy.
Rage increases while drinking the Hennessy.
Road rage
and hallucinating like my weed was laced.
In a different time zone.
In a different space.
Cutting myself across the face
and watch the blood leak
in the drain.

Situations were too difficult to bare.
Got a mark that stretch from the chin to my hair.
Lost myself in the process
I’m searching for my soul
but I can’t find it.
I give up
I’m exhausted.
I remain soulless.
Full of shit like a toilet.
My life wasted like abortions.
I have a price tag on my body
and for the right price
I give you permission to take
my life.

Life is not a race

but I’m made fun of

for not finding my space.

A select few can relate.

My shoes tied

but still falling flat on my face.

Most problems on our own we create

but for heaven sake

bad luck is what I taste.

I wonder if my life was a mistake.

I tried for years to play it safe.

In dreams we hide from monsters

in real life the monsters are in hiding places

with the best disguises.

World full of surprises and I know this

so I always expect the unexpected

like erections in the wrong places

hoping nobody notice

but somebody is always watching.

Scheming, looking for a weakness

and bullies find this amusing.

So I’m paranoid

My heart is void

like the earth before it was created.

A monster inside me is the creation

To my devious patterns

of sinning.

A thin line between good and evil

and caught up right in the middle.

The good ones are constantly belittled.

For every problem solved,

always a more difficult riddle.

So I give up and cross the over to evil

And it was simple

Like crossing the street at midnight

and now inside of me.

The Pleasure In My Dark Soul

Pay attention
From the heart and soul
I wrote this,
and this poem
by far is the deepest.
Relationship is a test.
A heartbreak is the lesson.
Body needs rest.
Mind has questions.
Heart split into pieces
and each piece
scattered like roaches
in the kitchen
when the lights come one.
Was you prepared for
this lesson on the day
you was born?
I say about 40% of you
reading this are probably
still heartbroken.
Pain we don’t choose
but yet how the fuck
do we accept it?
Ever wonder what was
go through Toni Braxton’s
mind when she wrote
“Breath Again” or
“Another Sad Song”
or Marry J Blige
when she wrote
“I’m going down”.
It’s all a trend.
When you get a chance
give these songs a listen.
What it feels like
to be heartbroken? Broken like egg shells
and going through withdrawals.
Trapped underwater
and it felt like forever.
I couldn’t hold my breath any longer.
Still drowning but occasionally resurface
to be pushed further
into heartache.
A responsibility evaded
will make a dream faded
like a college kid being
told “You ain’t Michael Jordan
so become a janitor”.
It’s like telling your great-grandmother
your too old for romance.
Criticism is constant
and people blame and say
you were being stupid
and get over it.
Those same people are
the biggest hypocrites
when they suffering life problems
because they will call you and
expect you to listen.
It’s a division
between your
mind and heart,
making you bewildered
like figuring out where to
start
when cleaning a messy room.
Pain is intense
like a woman wearing
too much perfume.
Bride and groom
is part of God’s Plan
am I right?
Why is something that is very precious
such a tough fight
like a baby is teething and you trying
to put the baby to sleep at night.
How much is a diamond worth?
What’s more precious,
jewelry or a child’s birth?
Cash corrupts loyalty
and expose greed and jealously.
Misery makes me overwhelmed.
All the shit I been through.
Stress sticking to my mind like glue.
I need relaxation
like a couple on a cruise.
Like soup,
I need something that heals
since stress is like a toxic person
right behind me on my heels.
Life is real and it kills
like cancer.
Stress moves around
like a dancer?
Am I in danger?
I feel like Simba
during the stampede.
My heart breaks
and for years it bleeds
like a girl on her period.
Stress rushes me like
adrenaline.
Ain’t nothing different.
Every day same shit
until death takes me home.
To me pain is historic
like a Maya Angelou poem.
In a world full of thieves
and loyalty made me naive
and oblivious to disloyalty.
Loyalty pushed to the side
like a chick
that’s only purpose to
satisfy’s a niggas dick.
Money and pussy
bullies loyalty
until it no longer has meaning.
An abuse kid with scar and bruises
from beatings
is a mental feeling
when your a slave to loyalty.
So broken
need more flowers
than fried chicken
and place them in the kitchen.
I’m my own hero to the rescue
and I need rest too.
Like A McDonald’s public restroom,
the heart is vacant
and I plan find a way
to keep it occupied.
Reminding myself that my heart scraed
and I should no longer be terrified.
But all I do is tell myself lies.
A heavy load like a man without
ejaculation.
For four weeks,
carrying boulders on my shoulders
for weeks.
Was told complaining was for the weak.
I believe I won’t last long like a man
not having sex in weeks.
Face is wet like pussy
and body is sick and infected
from eating raw meat.
Sleepy,but still writing
because this poem
was calling me.
Words and sentences blending
with a unique style of rhyming.
Lightbulb over my head.
A good feeling like getting some head,
Sparking a light,
so my poem can shine
which excites like a family
welcoming a new-born baby.
But yet, I am here
fighting off habits that are shady.
Gossip and laziness, I’m trying to
detach from my vocabulary.
This poem has mixed feelings
and restore like dental fillings.
Being broken will turn me loose
like a screw or a baby tooth.
“They say heartbreak is short distance
but it feels like long distance
Around the corner
but a week we converse
only a few minutes.
Decrease in the amount of time we spend.
I pretend that I have strength
until the length of me without you extends.
I can’t no longer be more than a friend.”
This is what I think to myself
wishing I was the one that broke your heart
instead of you breaking mine.
Sometimes the thing we humans
hate most is time.
It’s short and never stop
and we struggle to keep up.
So now reaction to my depression
lead me on the roof of a building
Is suicide the objective?
Good question
On a mission like America soldiers
seeking weapons of mass destruction.
I am insatiable for declining
to treasure the rainbow.
Life hard like erections
sometimes I wonder If
Death > > depression?
Phone becomes dry like a desert
and it get worst since you thirst.
Only hear notifications when an email arises,
just waiting for a call or text message
and yet receive nothing.
Do I feel abandoned?
I began to question
Lack of attention is the center
of my attention.
Heartbreak will make you different.
Instead of committing suicide,
I pretend I’m immortal.
I can be untouchable.
Every girl I talk to,
I smile in her face
but my mind says fuck you.
Turn into a player
and break hearts and crumble
them like potato chips.
I don’t give a shit.
Fuck human nature
because it’s too much pressure
wanting to be accepted and liked.
Be making you confused about your identity
like a transvestite.
Fuck a wife and worry about my life
is my motto.
Self-confidence will shoot through the roof
faster than I ever imagined.
I play my strengths to their weakness
like Eve in the Garden
manipulated by the serpent.
A serpent or demon
whatever you wanna call it,
I’m still a savage.
Poison disguised as medicine.
Prince charming
with a soul of a demon.
Fuck forgiveness,
revenge is the mission
through divine intoxication.
Logic or emotion.
Thinking of drinking love potion
while trying to stay focus.
Different choices
determines the outcome of a situation.
An immediate reaction
lead to decisions or using mindful
techniques to determine my destiny.
But still Feeling blue like the child
of Beyoncé.
I’m going “Halfway crazy”
Like Musiq.
Practicing baptism by affusion
Is similar feeling after I got my heartbroken.
I am now born again.

Please read Suicidal Thoughts/In Case Tomorrow Not Promised as well and that is another very deep poem that I may plan to read at an open mic.

1) How relatable is this poem to you?

2) What was your favorite line in this poem?

3) What was the darkest line in this poem?

4) By reading this poem, what was going through your mind?

5) One question that has nothing to do with this poem but summarize in a sentence on how are you different from other bloggers!

Also please listen to “Another Sad Song”, “Breathe Again” by Toni Braxton

Image result for Another sad song toni braxton

Listen to “I’m going down” by Mary J blige

Image result for mary j blige I'm goin down

Listen to “Halfway Crazy” by Musiq.

Image result for musiq half crazy