Category: betrayal

Gossip Is Destructive

Understand5464 Comments

I will be uploading 20 more blogs then I will be moving on from WordPress for good.  Please read What Is My Next Plan After Blogging?

 

 

 

Gossip is a cancer that spreads like chicken pox.

Image result for spread of chicken pox

 

Like a fever it burns, nasty like filthy socks.

Image result for filthy socks

 

Fills the air like a penis inside a woman’s tight vagina
and it spreads wider and wider 
like a forest fire.

Image result for forest fire

 

Without a knock on the door, it comes uninvited.
Not at all shy, disrupts quietness like a riot.

Image result for a riot

 

Boisterous  as the crowd on TimeSquare on New Years Eve.

Image result for New Years Eve in times square 2016

 

It get passed around like the blame and guilt 
towards Eve.

Image result for Adam blames Eve

 

Slither like a serpent searching for a servant

Image result for serpent gif

 

to work like a  slave in ancient Egypt building pyramids.

Image result for Slaves in Egypt building pyramid gif

 

Gossip starts off in hiding places like bushes that protects caterpillars.

 

Image result for caterpillar in a bush gif
But the disguise comes to light and flies around freely like butterflies 

 

Image result for truth come to light gif  Image result for butterflies flying gif
Exposing itself to the public to kill a person’s image slowly like HIV.

 

Image result for HIV is deadly image

It sneaks and form conspiracies 
like Julius Cesar’s advisory.

Image result for Julius caesar died
Brute is(Brutus) the force to conquer the weak and gullible to complete it’s mission. 
Gossip  is a tool that distracts a person from responsibilities and attracts a fool to somebody else’s business.

 

All Water Don’t Taste The Same(#PumpkinsPrompts )

Understand5463 Comments

I am doing the pumpkins prompt challenge and the topic  I posted a poem on is “water” and I want to give a special shout out to  Irene for creating this challenge and I think its a wonderful and creative idea for bloggers to interact with each other. Check out her blog when you get  chance.

#PumpkinsPrompts

Click on the link above if you want to participate

 

My life leaks
like water out of a pipe.
I cry puddles watching you
exit from my life.
Each tear is symbolic
and the pain in my heart
just can’t stop  it.
Tine wasting
water leaking,
Death occurring
and my heart is broken.
What these four have in common,
they are all consistent.
You wasted my time,
I feel like committing suicide
since my heart is broken
and tears is like a broken pipe
constantly leaking.
I defined you as water,
The liquid that kept me hydrated
but you took my heart
and like a  branch,
just snapped it.
Waking up sweating
and  every day
come closer to becoming
dehydrated.
I drink a  new type
of water bottle
to replace you
but problem is
each water bottle
taste different.

 

Explanation

In this poem, the main theme is heartbreak. I use water leaking out of a pipe as an example because this means leaking emotions, loss of power, and somebody walking out of your life. I cry because I couldn’t handle the pain. The person I was in love with, I compared that person to water and her love kept me hydrated and since she left, I can’t function. So I make a comparison stating that I am  dehydrated which means that I am broken, so in order to heal myself, I make another comparison to a water bottle saying everyday I drink a new water stating all water tasted different. This means that, I am searching for a new soulmate but every person I dealt with after my previous lover, didn’t have the same effect because no two people are like. The more girls I date, the more I miss my previous lover because I will never love no girl like I did with my previous lover. Lesson is, rebounds are a bad idea and you should take time to reflect on the relationship that just ended.

This Never Happened

Understand5467 Comments

Being lonely at times
helps me escape reality in my mind.
Imagine happiness to escape the pain.
Wishing I was a man with fame
instead of being a lame.
Swear at times my mind is a game
playing tricks like a prostitute being a side chick to a pimp.
Remembering all the presents for Christmas but in reality never got shit.
Jealous  of the other kids made me sick to the point wishing I was different.
Reminisce the negative but replace it with the positive.
The positive  is false but that’s what I choose to acknowledge.
Blame myself for not having both parents
but yet I see mom and dad hugging and loving me as if I am the one and only.
Beautiful fairy tale  like a Walt Disney movie.
Walking home from school hearing gunshots  on the block
refuse to listen and instead picturing me and my friends with waterguns.
Selling bricks  hittin licks for me is the hustle to subdue my struggles to make college affordable.
But instead picture myself filling out FAFSA forms to make college affordable.
Dreaming  of making my unborn child proud saying to him  ” I did this for you”
Tears come down as my unborn child reached his rest day before his birthday.
I picture my new friend as my best man in my wedding ceremony
When I really walked in on him and my gf in my house having sex and I pull out my 9mm  aiming at them  wishing in my mind this never happened.

Lonely

Understand54614 Comments

Many people think loneliness is a problem but  everybody been through it

When it comes to the life of a human  people who suffer loneliness will do anything to have other people in it.

But what makes a person lonely,
I’ll break it down for you only

Lonely means being without company
Cut off from the outside world which is solitary
Going through life without having nobody
But even more important question, does being single makes a person lonely?
Single means solitary but not necessarily sadness?
Relationship means companionship but not necessarily happiness?

Single is the art of choosing to be alone but I say choose because they say somebody is for everybody

Relationship is the art of choosing someone but does a relationship really overcome the feeling of being lonely?

Lonely makes a person stronger

But they say strength is developed through numbers
But however,
Being lonely makes you live independent.

Independence of lifestyle can lead to productivity and fulfillment. 
Once you have a solid approach to things, there’s nothing in life you won’t be able to do.
Now lets talk about the opposite of being independent 
Which is being dependent in which some relationships demonstrates that is
Relationship to depend on one other, your true significant lover
But however its not always the case that your significant lover will be with you forever
So if you and your mate depend on one another 
And rely on a relationship as your one way ticket of being a survivor,

how will you survive, when you significant other  disappear from your life? 

How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie(Part 3)

Understand5466 Comments

Before you read this, I highly recommend you read How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie and How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie(Part 2)first. I share my very personal thoughts in poetry format cut and dry and I don’t give a fuck. Through out this poem, I will have some sentences in bold in this poem because those are the quotes that are most powerful lessons that I learned.

The way I wrote this, I wrote this as if I was having a private conversation with a very close person in a confidential place, like in a pastors office or at a therapy session. So when reading this, picture this as if you are a pastor or therapist and after reading this or hearing this verbally, how would you respond?

I have a frightened look in my eyes,

so lord I ask you to be by my side.

It’s better to tell the truth than to lie.

I have a good heart

but I think about homicide and suicide.

Scared for my life and I’m weak

like an abused wife.

I don’t get beat, but at times,afraid to speak.

Absent minded is a weakness of mines.

I know improvement comes with time

but being criticized for years destroyed my spirit and pride.

Please show me the way to keep me safe.

When the way is available

I pray that I choose the right path to keep me safe.

Today all I know is that I have to pray

but how do I start?

Another weakness of mines

how do I finish what I start?

My mind is like

a hockey player skating on a hockey ring,

I am all over the place.

Can’t stay focus and I always had problems to concentrate

on anything.

I never had interest in going back to church

but I would reconsider if I can find the right person to relate to,

to show me how to follow you and make the right moves.

To teach me to do not what always feels good

but do what is right.

I don’t know why but all I know is I fear for my life?

I haven’t cried in three years.

Maybe I should release the pain by shedding tears.

Sometimes I hate myself for not speaking up.

So many times I let things slide like a water ride.

Am I worthy to be a man?

What is it that I don’t understand?

I am curious to know what is your plan?

Will I die in happiness tomorrow

or live in misery for the rest of the century?

Will I accomplish more than my parents

Or will I die with nothing and go to hell

when people visit me in the cemetery?

Will I be a legend?

Will I be just a short term memory?

Will I be loved for eternally?

“Will I escape the weather when it rains?

Or will I stand still and accept the rain

and look above my head at the dark cloud?”

I was fortunate to have both parents

and yet so many doubts.

“Is it right to hate someone you love?

Another words, can you love and hate somebody

at the same time?”

It’s better to tell the truth than to lie,

so I am fuming on the inside.

“So stressed since over the years I’ve been criticize,

so I became addicted to free time.

All I wanna do is just being alone with my thoughts

and zone out but this is not healthy right?

Is this the reason why I am lazy?

Is it because I am addicted to free time?

I can write and write

about all the fucked things that happened to me

but what am I accomplishing in life

by complaining all the time?

I have lied at times but it was because I am addicted the free time.

I should be happy and free right?

Telling the truth is the right thing

but telling the truth make you regretful

when the result of it makes you miserable,

so is it better to lie than to tell the truth?

So see how I am addicted to free time?

For being criticized

and always doing things other people’s way

is why I rather isolate into my own space.

I keep my feelings inside

but it takes up space

in my head and when it is time

for me to handle my responsibilities,

I can’t concentrate.

Overthink shit every single day.”

They say be careful what you wish for.

Well for years I wished for peace

but instead I bleed

and the people that stabbed me

are usually the people I don’t see

so I learned that betrayal is beyond my reach.

So I isolate my self to protect myself.

I talk to myself.

Is this bad for my health?

Well you can answer that

but I don’t give a fuck about your opinion

if you think I’m not an ordinary civilian

when you haven’t walked years down the path I took.

“You ever had a bad dream and thought it was real

and you was thankful you woke up and it wasn’t real?

Well imagine it in reverse,

I sleep and dream about heaven and peace

and wake up to brimstone and fire

so another words my reality is a nightmare?”

I can relate to the average inmate on the tier.

Ever wondered how an inmate or homeless person sleep?

Imagine having a good dream

and waking up to living on the street or in prison.

Or imagine dreaming about endless sex

with beautiful women but wake up knowing you are a virgin?

“Now this don’t sound so unpleasant

and this pain sounds lenient

but we all view things different.”

To that virgin, it feels like

his dick is in prison

and he has to wait years to release his semen.

His wrist has limited movement

from being cuffed and his wrist hurts

from constantly jerking off.

“For those of reading this,

do you see how I am relating masturbating to prison?

It’s about guilt and this how I feel.

Guilty like a criminal and my guilt

has my mind and body in a cell.

So jerking off is my exercise and freedom

to release tension and the blood flow is increasing

like I ‘m pumping iron

and my arm is so sore

I could barely lift it.

See how I related masturbating to prison?”

Let me stop bragging and explain my flaws

through erectile dysfunction.

My mind couldn’t function.

It was a little over four years ago,

but felt like yesterday

when I couldn’t play with it my way.

When I say it, I’m talking about

the vagina.

It’s in front me but I didn’t have the tool to use it.

“As a child you ever had video games and toys in front

of you

but wasn’t allowed to play with them

because you was on punishment?

Imagine that is this.

Felt like an unprepared student

always forgetting his pencil.

I had so much potential to be an excellent lover

but the pain was mental

and this is where I learned mental slavery

is worst than physical slavery.”

My mind is worn out

like the big bad wolf

when trying to blow the third little

pigs house down by huffing

and puffing.

Got tired of stressing

so went to the urologist

and got a sample of cialis.

Like nicotine, I got addicted to this

and raw vagina and cream pies felt

good like holding your urine for a hour straight

until you finally get home and then you start

releasing it

like a new video game coming out for Christmas

and because of cialis, the cells in my seamen

was like the crowd rushing on Black Friday in the front doors

of Walmart at midnight.

But constant pregnancy scares had me fearing for my life.

This was another mental fight.

So lesson I learned was, one problem solved

can add on another when you take shortcuts

but I’m hardheaded and I don’t know if I give a fuck

about making the same mistakes.

But anyway I went off topic and let me get back to it.

For a while this was pain for me

for worrying what others think of me

and that’s the weakness in me.

But I had to find a way escape this mental pain

when she choose another guy over me ( read I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1) andI Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

for full story).

So I blamed and hated myself and blamed God for not

getting hard.

But it’s whatever

because I realized there is better

and I’m talking about better vagina.

I pushed my integrity out the window

and paid for professionals.

Fuck passion and romance

getting my dick sucked and rough sex

became my best friends.

and sex with average girls became overrated.

Instead of letting them judge me,

I decided to judge them

and thought women were worthless

and do I still feel this way, hmm I honestly don’t know?

My lack of sex skills had me despising black women

and I am going to be honest,

I was in my emotions

acting sensitive like a little bitch

but I reminded my self

that I was a man

and I’m suppose to think with logic

and this time period for me

was difficult like algebraic expressions

so I found a way to simplify it

by reminding myself sex is overrated

and reminding myself of that

defined my mentality

like I was looking up something

in a Websters dictionary.

I was told

“Love is a serious mental diseases?”

“So hate is my weapon to conquer my enemy

because being hateful is selfish

and selfish people usually have the biggest hearts

and been through the worst type of heart breaks.”

This was something I just learned yesterday.

I will be more selfish

tomorrow for hating my yesterday

and today I received a present

a got a small heart to fit in my body.

So I’m an writing this to present

my soul for you to witness.

I can write for so long

you would think I am immortal.

My thoughts are for free, they are affordable

like united healthcare

but in reality it’s worth more

than any coin or dollar.

Was told plenty of times

my poetry is deep and powerful

so I hope when you read this

I helped you witness a miracle.

Now I can’t turn water into wine

but maybe I can save you from

committing a crime

or exiting out of somebody’s life

over some fucked up shit

because don’t be like I.

I am here to change lives

like a inmate on beyond scare straight

doing life

but I doubt if I would,

before I die.

Fuck wishing to be a billionaire,

I would rather die broke tomorrow

if tonight I can save a life.

As you can see, I can write all day

and all night

like an inmate, have nothing but time.

But what happens after I finish telling my life experiences?

So my question is, will I have another poem left in me

and when my work is complete, should I take my

life story to recite to an open mic?

I still have more to write and I think I will get darker and deeper. I think one day in the distant future, I will recite this to a large crowd to save people from becoming like me.

So when you reading this an imaging that you are a pastor or therapist, how would you respond?(No need to answer this question but its is something think about or even discuss with somebody else you close with)

But I will leave three questions for you to answer in the comment section

  1. After reading this, what are three words to describe this poem?

  2. Can you get your heart broken if you are a selfish person?

  3. While you were reading this, the statements I left in quotes, did you learn anything new or was everything relatable?

  4. I am always willing to learn so is there anything you would like to share about his or if you have a view point about something that I mentioned, feel free to comment below

  5. Also comment below if you have a good deep question for me to think about and I am willing to respond.

Image result for how i feel

And

Image result for how i feel

How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie(Part 2)

Understand5465 Comments

Before you read this, I highly recommend you ready How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie first. I share my very personal thoughts in poetry format cut and dry and I don’t give a fuck. Through out this poem, I will have some sentences in bold in this poem because those are the quotes that are most powerful lessons that I learned

I can write for days

while you observe

the pain on my face.

Plus I’m poor

like a report card

with bad grades.

“Myself, I choose to isolate

and use to do it

to keep my heart safe

but it just increased the rage

and I write poetry to release frustration.

to keep my head straight.”

I can snap at any given time

and space

and I’m sure some of you can relate.

I mean how much can a muthfucka take?

It’s sad when you ain’t

comfortable at your home base.

I zone out and stare off into space

wishing somebody else can take my place.

I use to wonder why I never had so many dates?

As I got older, I was like fuck a date,

paying for sex was the way.

For those of you that follow me,

I mentioned this in so many ways.

So many ways I can express my hate.

I hate a person that always thinks he/she right.

Thinking their opinion only matters in life.

I hate a person that’s tight

with money in their hand.

“I know people that will help a stranger

before a family member

or friend.

Loyal to the wrong person

until they are betrayed

and now back to family

they complaining expressing their hurt

and this is how life works,

the ones that don’t have it like that

will give you their last

and the ones that got it like that

are tight with it.”

It hurts because money rules the world.

I said over and over

“Loyalty push to the side when the price is right

and it been like this

way before Bob Barker’s time.”

Judas betrayed Jesus

for 30 silver pieces

way way before social media existed.

“Performing miracles isn’t impressive

because money is the real magic.”

Mind is playing tricks

falling victim to the devil’s wish

selling him your body and soul

and you just became his trick

and he pimps

you out to be worldly.

“Is worshiping God boring?

If the answer is yes

is this the reason

why more people go to hell then heaven?

How can we make worshiping God more exciting?”

Excitement comes three times,

when the dick is hard,

when the pussy is wet,

and when money involved.

Its an addiction we can’t stop.

If money was promised

to every person

that go to church on Sunday,

more people would be worshiping God.

Wouldn’t you agree?

See how this is fake pretending?

People only around to seek cheese

until you speak up and say no.

Behind your back

they make fun of the way you speak

after they take your money.

A few post back I said

“Same niggas they say

“Money over pussy”

put

“Pussy over family””.

Mothers out there fucking their son’s

right hand man to receive money in their hand.

Some mothers fuck for free.

If one of my friends

fucked my mother he dying for free.

“But I don’t have friends,

I have family.

So another words,

never trust a friend

because they can never be family.”

Friends are temporary like the temp agency.

We chase the wrong ones,

chasing the popularity.

“As a kid in high school,

was told talking to bitches

was what make you popular

because niggas want bitches

and bitches want niggas

that are popular

and being around fine bitches

is what make niggas popular.”

“High school is popularity chasing and chasing

something is a full time job

which is time consuming

and chasing too hard for something

will get you nothing”.

“Chasing too hard for something

will have trying

to pretend to be someone you not”.

It will make you look eve more corny.

Like a comedian trying to hard to be funny?

“Sometimes good things will come naturally

but we hate patience with a passion

and this destroys us spiritually

and we disconnect with God

and feel empty

like being in a relationship with somebody

w/o the chemistry.

But we get comfortable in solitary

so avoiding communicating

leads to cheating

and looking over your shoulder

to make sure you don’t get caught.

But we just students and bad experience

is the teacher but some students

don’t listen

so we try avoiding

getting caught

but being lucky isn’t guaranteed”

I will reiterate that

“Sometimes good things will come naturally

but we hate patience with a passion

and this destroys us spiritually

and we disconnect with God

and feel empty

like being in a relationship with somebody

w/o the chemistry.

But we get comfortable in solitary

so avoiding communicating

leads to cheating

and looking over your shoulder

to make sure you don’t get caught.

But we just students and bad experience

is the teacher but some students

don’t listen

so we try avoiding

getting caught

but being lucky isn’t guaranteed”

What is guaranteed?

Taxes, death

but what else is left?

Never guaranteed life

but we guaranteed

we will die the moment

you planted inside a woman.

Not guarantee to see life

some cells never make out the vagina

Some lives die inside but did God do those lives a favor?

Life is not sweet like candy

you’ll either will learn this now or later.

Either way it don’t matter

because I’m still bitter.

This is more than a long poem

I’m expressing true life emotions

and I’m doing ya a favor. I

tell the cold hard truth

and the amount of people that lie

you’ll see that the crowd is wide

like an angle that’s obtuse.

Lies we get so use to

we don’t believe it

when we actually meet a person

that tells the truth.

My poetry might not be great

but it speaks the truth

even if it embarrasses my personality.

So much to say

I have alot to say

I can write for days

while you observe the pain on my face.

My hidden emotions is my excuse

to how I became a talent poet

and I can tell a life story better than fresh prince

But what happens after I finish telling my life experiences?

So my question is, will I have another poem left in me

after this get uploaded?

I will upload a part 3 and maybe a part 4 .

How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie

Understand54616 Comments

To explain how I feel

don’t know where to start.

Friends and family are fake

but emotions are real.

So much bottle up inside

it’s making me ill.

But its’ time to tip over the bottle

and let it spill

and lay it out on the the table.

To start expressing, I don’t if I’m able

but I will try my best

and this is not a fable.

Well lets just say there is a thin line

between love and hate

and I cross over the line

back fourth like

I’m playing jump rope.

My emotions is not a dirty body

that could get washed away with soap.

I am starting to lose hope

Why I should I fight

When I can jump of the

Throng Neck bridge and Die?

Why should I cry

I since don’t know how to

since I keep everything bottle up inside?

I hide whats inside to protect the outside.

Getting tired of being told what to do.

On my mind,two words on it is “Fuck You“

I rather be isolated.

The nice guy in me is slowly dying

Have to the mind set to commit a homicide.

Fuck it,If I love you,I rather see you die

then ask forgiveness later

Build up with such much anger.

My mind is in danger

and its killing me slow like lung cancer.

I look in the mirror and ask myself

“Am I a murder?”

“Am I a serial Killer?”

“Will I be the black version of Adolf Hitler?”

I had a dream one time

that my soul went to hell.

So might as well give my soul to sell

I can be the devil’s ‘Michael’

one of his arch demons.

Evil should be my focus

and I should spread it

and make it contagious

like farmers going through a famine

because of locusts.

When I try to do good I can’t stay focus.

Maybe evil is my calling.

Every baby aborted

I wish I could trade lives

with.World full of hypocrites

that are only kind for their own benefits

and I can’t stand it.

Relationships is rare like job benefits.

Nobody now hires full time

and this is how I view relationships

because people only want the benefits

but won’t make scarfices to commit full time.

I rather be lonely forever.

I though by the age of 28

I would be alone

but still stuck at home.

This right here is more than a poem

I needed to write this because

I am in the zone.

I can relate to all the sad songs

while writing this poem.

Held on things for so long.

I ready to release like ejaculation.

Fuck my concentration

I am almost starting to give up on praying

I won’t lie and be hypocrite

I do believe there is a God

but I gave up going on church a long time ago

“The one that invite you to church are the ones

that wanna see you in hell.”

The gate is wide

and the fake angels will smile wide

when they say hi

but deep down they despise

looking in your eyes.

I know this so I trust no one

Show love to no one

because love will get you killed

and LLPhate you make you live.

“We eat more than we can shit.”

I ponder because I have two hands

juggling everything you can imagine.

It’s like I drink 10 glasses of water

but still dehydrating.

Does reading this sounds devastating?

Now how the fuck you think I feel?

This pain is real

This poem is selfish.

My feelings I choose to conceal but

I was told that was selfish.

I will say I am a talented poet

but that’s because I have hidden emotions

disguised as love which is really hate.

“I feel like Eve

because I have been deceived

by so many serpents

and yet I get punished

suffering the consequences

of others being persuasive.“

Have you been in debt

or almost went to jail

because of somebody’s actions?

It’s a tragic and another life lesson

I learned at 23.

“There are criminals in society

and innocent ones in the penitentiary.”

Being naive will have serving a sentence

for not using common sense.

I’m gonna reiterate and capitalized this shit

“BE NAIVE WILL HAVE YOU SERVING A SENTENCE

FOR NOT USING COMMON SENSE.” – David Hocakday

‘Proud To Be An American”

Lmao yeah right

This country is fucking racists.

This is not a place for the poor.

Every year we struggle

more and more

since salaries

don’t keep up with the cost of living.

Am I better off in prison?

The meals are for free

The weights are for free

Besides there nothing on TV

thanks to social media.

I am satisfied with my jobs

but problem is I can’t afford a living

with both my jobs.

I tired of asking money from my mom

I am almost 30

yet I still feel like a 3 year old.

Do my parents have to hold my

hand while I cross the street?

What’s funny

is that I’m to the point where I’m almost

ready to give up and live on the street

since I love being lonely.

I only feel peace when I sleep

or when I masturbate when I’m horny.

I said earlier that I am a talented poet

because of hidden emotions.

So my question is

will have another poem left in me

after this get uploaded?

I will upload a part 2 and maybe a part 3 sometime this week

Where Have You Been?

Understand5461 Comment

I normally write thought provoking poems but his is one of my more painful and darker poems. Before you read, if you are curious to know more about me, click on this link Who Am I?

Shit felt like yesterday when I was looking for you.
Alot of painful thoughts, late nights praying to you.
I was going thru scriptures in the bible trying to find answers.
A non-response from you left me drowning in deep water.
Now three years later, I now understand what it feels like
Overthinking during the sleepless nights and you was teaching me to hang tight.
Inexperience had me at a disadvantage, almost felt worthless when got my heart broken.
So instead of praying, I looked at every woman as a enemy.
I hated bitches and thought they wasn’t shit and was only worth dick.
I had the wrong type of thinking, at first I tried praying to you but you wasn’t listening.
Your distance has me wanting to seek revenge
so paying for sex was my healing.
The orgasm was addictive and even to this day I still need healing from masturbating.
The more I kept praying, the more I kept overeating.
My heart was like engine that was overheating.
It stopped beating and operating.
It was broken and dead and I held a grudge against you.

Why did you abandoned me when she destroyed me?
Why did you allow her to?
Everytime I look in the mirror I cried tears of pain?
I was really starting to hate you?
You said to cast our my anxiety since you care for me
but you left me drowning in the pool.

I made plenty of mistakes but my heart was in the right place.
Needed help since I experienced love a little late.
I prayed for the right path, but I fell in love at the wrong time and place.
Before I knew, I wasn’t doing things that I shouldn’t.
My only concern was to obtain a proper ejaculation even if it was premature.
Lack of erections had me feeling like a politician losing the election.
A gentleman but yet felt like a loser.
Got tired of this feeling, so went to the doctor
for Viagra.
Felt good to satisfy her needs, but dependent on a pill and I was only 24?
I blamed myself and hated myself.
I had thoughts wondering if I was corny?
I had thoughts wondering should I be lonely?
I had alot of potential in my personality
but you made me antisocial.
I feared being laughed so till this day
still don’t know how to be sociable.
Every time I think about it, made me sick.
I was ashamed of my dick.
I fought this battle alone
and you didn’t defend me.
The klove songs no longer lifted me
It made me empty.
Strippers were the remedy.
I just wanted easy women and hated women
that were classy.
But this wasn’t the proper thinking.
I looked up to but then I started to hate you like an enemy.
Because of the summer of 2015 was my worst memory.
I think bitches are the enemy.
I became a selfish because I don’t care to satisfy a bitch needs.
Now I’m quick to tell a bitch to cheat
if my dick can’t stay hard
I don’t give a fuck.

Why did you abandoned me when she destroyed me?
Why did you allow her to?
Everytime I look in the mirror I cried tears of pain?
I was really starting to hate you?
You said to cast our my anxiety since you care for me
but you left me drowning in the pool

To get the Full Story please read I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1) and I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

The Fire In My Eye

Understand5463 Comments

The fire in my eye
since they failed to comply
so its them I despise.
A monster in me
was created inside
The rage in me arrives
like a UPS package
at the side door.
Broken heart
and constant disspaointments
made me abhor
the flesh of them created by God.
Revenge is how I respond
Loyalty is pushed to the side
when the price is right.
Life is suicide
because the mind is running
back and fourth
training and pacing
while the heart is rapidly beating.
Thoughts is sprinting
due to overthinking
which lead to headaches
so revenge becomes the apsrin
to prevent overthinking
and now I’m overreacting.
Revenge seeking is my mission.
Fire in my eye burns
if you look close enough
it will make your stomach
twist in knots.
Pain inside me burns
like rubbing alcohol
on a wound
from a pocket knife.
All I know is somebody gotta die
and it’s not me

Friendzoned

Understand5464 Comments

Trapped in that territory
Helpless in the face of destiny
No escape out the burning building
Heart on fire and it keeps on burning
Accept that lost
Knowing that you was so close
Like a second place loser
Its okay because at least she love you like a brother