I Am In Love With My Seductive Next Door Neighbor (Part 1)

I want to thank one of my followers and her name is Rakkelle and she is an extremely talented writer and she talks about topics that are very relatable to most life experiences and she is very passionate about her blog and it looks very professional. So when you get a chance if you don’t know her, you should give her blog a visit. Rakkelle gave me this idea when she commented on one of my post “Watch “Soul Food Season 2 Episode 20 This Must Be Love” on YouTube“. So I am grateful for her comment she provided in the comment section.

A dream or nightmare I can’t distinguish.

Confusing as the semen is leaking.

These erotic images keep appearing.

Practicing intense fuck sessions

but yet what is the lesson?

I’m happily married is what I believe

until I see her and she sees me.

When I say her, I’m talking about my neighbor.

Lust is a motherfucka and I’m a sucka

for lust.

Blind towards true love,

and borderline of breaking trust

like a tinted window.

Cum stains on the pillow

irritates wifey for neglecting her needs.

She see’s right through my excuses.

Me being exhausted, she not having it.

She suggest that we seek counseling

but I know what the problem is.

My wifey is no longer attractive.

The weight gain on her belly

is atrocious.

The stretch mark on the back

of her neck is prominent.

She is physically not the woman

I fell in love with

In which makes me jealous

of my sexy ass neighbors punk ass 5ft5 husband.

Jealously make my cum shots explosive

like a erupting kilauea volcano.

For months straight jerking off

on my polyester sheets and pillows

is the absence of good hardcore fucking

for the past 3 months straight

and plus my wife got rid of the spice channels.

She hates it when I watch porno.

Now, I fell in love with wifey because of the blowjobs.

My cum she swallows more than

a new employee at a correctional facility

retaining information from the warden.

My kids were more than the average women

can chew, but wifey just swallows every drop

like a restroom hand dryer.

But years ago when I first met wifey

she was so much sexier.

The curves, the softness, ivory skin, eyes metallic,

the bond between us, shit the average person

could see how cohesive it was between us.

She made me come outta my shell

like a valence electron

since my thinking was negative like

the charge of electrons.

That was a few years back

and now the sex is wack.

The mood is mundane in the bedroom.

Our sex life is doomed

but I take full responsibility

because till this day my wifey try her hardest to please me

but swallowing my cum bucket of kids

don’t mean shit after she swallows it

because her stomach fat is still visible.

And last night she got the nerve to ask me

to take her shirt off since she was hot.

I immediately lost the hardness on my cock.

I lied and I told her I was getting nauseous.

She asked me

What the issue,

you don’t fuck me like you use to

you don’t kiss me like you use to

you don’t caress me in public like you use too

you be ignoring my naughty text messages,

you refuse when I offer you back massages,

you stop asking ask for blowjobs,

I have to beg you just to finger pop,

I have to beg you to lick the cherry,

and you haven’t wrote me poems lately.

I am your lady and even though

I love you for you and sex is not the most important thing,

in marriage sex is still a priority.

I miss how you use to stroke me roughly,

I miss how you use to pull my hair,

I miss you how you use fuck me into tears,

I remember at least 2 or 3 times you fucked me

and you wouldn’t stop until the neighbors would hear

to make them jealous.

But ever since the old neighbors moved out

and the new neighbors moved in,

I noticed a difference.

You look at Brittany(The sexy next door neighbor)

the same way you use to look at me,

You smile at Brittany

the same way you use to smile at me.

I know she just moved in but

how do you act way more friendly

with her

than with your own wifey?

I want you to explain that shit to me

I know that I gained weight

but I’m trying babe to lose it

but I travel a lot during the week

and it’s for me

to find something healthy to eat.

You know I had to cancel my gym membership

to pay for my parents funeral.

Do you know what it’s like knowing

you parents died in a car accident,

the agony is beyond real.

The thoughts in my head are so unreal.

I have a lot going on and your all that I

have left and I miss how things

between us use to be.

Sexual tension and energy between us

no longer exist and each of the memories

vanish in thin air like marijuana smoke.

I miss how the tip

use to bang against my tonsils.

I miss the choke

but now I feel like my life is suffocating

and the pressure is getting stronger.

Why do you insist on treating your wife like

a stranger?

Tell me why you don’t find me attractive

no more

and I’ll try my best to fix it?

I tried to hold back my laughter but I couldn’t.

I had to cover up my honesty and told her

that “Honey it’s not you,

I’m just not feeling you…….

wait shit lol, I meant well, well.”

Lol she saw right through the bullshit.

She sucked her teeth then just hopped in the bed

and fell fast asleep.

The fucked up part was that I didn’t feel bad.

to be honest, I didn’t give fuck.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1) Do you think wifey should seek counseling to save her marriage, or should she get a divorce?

2) If you had one word to describe wifey, what would say about her?

3) After reading this, do you think sex is a priority in a relationship?

4) In part 2, do you think the main character will have an affair with Brittany?

5) Is weight gain a good reason to stop having sex with your spouse?

6) Is being exhausted a good excuse for not wanting to have sex or is that a weak ass excuse and people need to learn to overcome their sleepiness since sex is a priority?

7) Give me an example of a double entendre I provided in this story?

8) How important is physical attraction in a marriage?

9) After you answer number 8, let’s say after being married for some time and you start losing the interest and physical attraction towards you spouse, will you make excuses to avoid having sex?

10) Now vice versa, let’s say your spouse lost interest in you physically, how would that make you feel, do you think that your spouse no longer being attracted to you is a good reason to not want to have sex with you, how long is going too long with out sex in marriage, and if you and your spouse both acknowledge that the marriage is a sexless one do you think professional help is necessary?

11) To maintain a good healthy sexual relationship, is oral sex necessary ?

If you have the time, I encourage all bloggers to leave a comment answering the most difficult question out of the 11 questions . If you are a blogger that’s running out of content to blog about, I encourage you to make a post answering all of the 11 questions I provided and and link it back to this post and I will reblog that post on my blog giving you a shout out and in addition I will reblog a post on your blog explaining my interest for your post and blog. I might make a whole series out of this and write all the way up to part 28. Instead of writing random poetry, I think I might just focus on this story and complete this by August. It is going to be a lot of thinking and late nights but if you really enjoyed reading this, than I might consider doing that.

Part 2 will be coming shorty

I am going to try and take blogging to the next level. I wrote so many poems and I think I deserve my recognition so I am definitely looking to connect with more people on social media so I am going to provide a few links to check out. Hell maybe one day after Avengers End Game comes out in May, I use a profile pic of my real identity lol but who knows.

Wattpad

Instagram

For bloggers that are looking to make connections meet people, you can start with me lol

Here is my About Me page and leave a comment and I will follow you back.

For bloggers that been following me, supporting me and leaving comments, from time to time I am going to through your posts and pick a favorite one of mine and reblog it explaining why I like it so much. Give me time though because I have such other things going on in life. Please forgive me for the spelling mistakes because I wrote this quick because I had to get my car fixed lol.

Valentine’s Day Poem

Watch this video first before reading the rest of this post! This is a good video to watch on Valentine’s Day!

This one is for all the bloggers on wordpress. I dedicate this poem to every blogger because it takes hardwork ,dedication, passion to blog. Blogging by any means is not easy. Staying up late night, thinking of ways to improve your blog, figuring out how to relate to bloggers, trying to be creative. Some of you may relate, but blogging can be an addiction when trying so hard relating to others. Comparing to other blogs and feeling like your blog isn’t good enough. Sometimes you want to give up blogging. Or you could be in the position where blogging is the only time you feel at peace because you are depressed in life. I read a lot of depressing, heartbroken blogs. To those of you that are miserable in life but still continue to blog, keep writing because I am here to support and provide feedback and I love your work. Never be afraid to express yourself because I always love to hear what’s in a person mind and heart. For those of you that know me, Ya know I don’t give a fuck, I wrote some of the darkest shit such as rape, murder, suicide, heartbreaks, perverted shit, sex poems, poverty, rage, and hate. I won’t lie to you, my dark poems is reality. This is the stuff that goes on in my head but you know what though, I’m not afraid to talk about it because no matter how hard my life gets, I love God and when I think of Valentine’s Day, I think of God. God is more powerful than anything.

The lord is love

Power from above

Is enough

And more powerful

than 1000 hugs.

I almost shed tears

When seeking 2 love birds

Appear

On my WordPress

Madly in love.

Marriage and relationships

Is always tough.

Times get rough.

Arguments are always guaranteed.

Sometimes we don’t always think

Before we speak.

We hurt feelings

We cause problems

But only a few create solutions

Solutions rise above

And problems fall at the bottom.

Prior to 2018,

I never gave a fuck about Valentine’s Day

But I am more mature today.

Valentine’s Day is not about money and materialistic things.

It’s about celebrating friends and family.

I am not affectionate

but I have a girlfriend and I love her dearly.

After viewing some of the lovely Valentine’s day posts

About spouses and significant others

I just want to tell Tiffanee

That I love her dearly.

I will do whatever I got to do

To protect her from everything.

I know that sounds impossible

I will damn sure make the impossible, possible.

I love you and I always will.

For my long term bloggers that been following me

Since day 1,

You know that I write some very dark shit.
I admit my mind can travel in dark places

And I can get very personal

But I have a big heart

And I love each and every one of you

For supporting me.

Ya give me the strength to write.

Ya give me the strength to fight.

Ya give me the strength to be a better poet.

Ya give me the strength to expose dark places.

In my mind.

I’m one of a kind

And one day when I shine

I will never forget my followers.

Each and every one of you deserves flowers.

For my male followers that have wives/girlfriends,

Treat your lady like

The way you want your daughter to be treated.

Protect her and be a leader and provider.

Tell her why you fell in love with her.

Tell her that you will always love her.

For my female followers that have husbands/boyfriends

Treat your man like

How you want your son to be treated.

Support him and appreciate him for being a provider.

Being a man that’s a provider and protector

Is a big responsibility

so be his helper and help him lead.

To all the single people,

Love don’t come from a relationship.

Love is provided to from Jesus

A significant other is not needed

For happiness.

I want single women to love themselves

And impress and spoil themselves.

Stop settling for situationships

From men that use devious tactics

And false disguises

Pretending to have feelings

when in reality treat your vagina

like an inmate that’s state property.

I want single men

To not let women with extreme high standards

Make you feel less like a man.

You are a man

And focus on your plan.

Don’t let pussy be a distraction

And stop letting women trick you into tricking

If you and her are not committed.

Because money attracts

But true love slowly contracts

The love that gives roots towards evil

True love is plentiful.

To everybody reading this

God bless you

And I love you!

My next post will be poem called “My Seductive Next Door Neighbor” and I looking to upload this by Sunday or Monday

If Couples Were Honest?

 

I am actually going to take a break from posting poetry. My next few post, will be videos either funny videos or relatable videos that many of us face. This video is about couples being too honest with each other.

So comment below on your opinions on this video and for those of you that are in a relationship or married, do you think it’s necessary to lie in order to save your relationship/marriage?

Poetry Saved My Life

Haven’t wrote a deep poem in a minute.
Got me in the zone while listening to music.
I have these emotions and gotta express it.
More than a poem, I’m lonely and desperate.
This like a movie, based on a true life story.

I’m in search of the perfect poem and words form
This was written before I wrote it, daydreaming in the zone.
Racing with time and this poem fell in my lap.
Losing the race ,the dust particles landing on my face.
Eager to hustle, but forced to struggle.
Regrets, I have everyday of my life.
Poetry is my life when I lose the fight
of my real life battles.
War zone in my mind and this poem is a bloody towel
that wipes the flood of the fluid that keeps the heart pumping.
War zone in my mind and this poem is a band aide that cover the scar and keep the skin healing.
This poem saved my life, damn near close to suicide.
The fear of hell kept my soul from being sent to the ground
I was saved like money in a savings account
Life is bitter like hard liquor, but this poem is a chaser and it chased my liquor
Now life sweet like tropical juice and it respected me and influenced me
to write this poem since everything in my heart
now feels right.
Negative thoughts now get left and I move
toward the right
Towards my life goals and the demons trip
while trying to catch the soccer ball.

This Never Happened

Being lonely at times
helps me escape reality in my mind.
Imagine happiness to escape the pain.
Wishing I was a man with fame
instead of being a lame.
Swear at times my mind is a game
playing tricks like a prostitute being a side chick to a pimp.
Remembering all the presents for Christmas but in reality never got shit.
Jealous  of the other kids made me sick to the point wishing I was different.
Reminisce the negative but replace it with the positive.
The positive  is false but that’s what I choose to acknowledge.
Blame myself for not having both parents
but yet I see mom and dad hugging and loving me as if I am the one and only.
Beautiful fairy tale  like a Walt Disney movie.
Walking home from school hearing gunshots  on the block
refuse to listen and instead picturing me and my friends with waterguns.
Selling bricks  hittin licks for me is the hustle to subdue my struggles to make college affordable.
But instead picture myself filling out FAFSA forms to make college affordable.
Dreaming  of making my unborn child proud saying to him  ” I did this for you”
Tears come down as my unborn child reached his rest day before his birthday.
I picture my new friend as my best man in my wedding ceremony
When I really walked in on him and my gf in my house having sex and I pull out my 9mm  aiming at them  wishing in my mind this never happened.

Lonely

Many people think loneliness is a problem but  everybody been through it

When it comes to the life of a human  people who suffer loneliness will do anything to have other people in it.

But what makes a person lonely,
I’ll break it down for you only

Lonely means being without company
Cut off from the outside world which is solitary
Going through life without having nobody
But even more important question, does being single makes a person lonely?
Single means solitary but not necessarily sadness?
Relationship means companionship but not necessarily happiness?

Single is the art of choosing to be alone but I say choose because they say somebody is for everybody

Relationship is the art of choosing someone but does a relationship really overcome the feeling of being lonely?

Lonely makes a person stronger

But they say strength is developed through numbers
But however,
Being lonely makes you live independent.

Independence of lifestyle can lead to productivity and fulfillment. 
Once you have a solid approach to things, there’s nothing in life you won’t be able to do.
Now lets talk about the opposite of being independent 
Which is being dependent in which some relationships demonstrates that is
Relationship to depend on one other, your true significant lover
But however its not always the case that your significant lover will be with you forever
So if you and your mate depend on one another 
And rely on a relationship as your one way ticket of being a survivor,

how will you survive, when you significant other  disappear from your life? 

How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie(Part 3)

Before you read this, I highly recommend you read How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie and How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie(Part 2)first. I share my very personal thoughts in poetry format cut and dry and I don’t give a fuck. Through out this poem, I will have some sentences in bold in this poem because those are the quotes that are most powerful lessons that I learned.

The way I wrote this, I wrote this as if I was having a private conversation with a very close person in a confidential place, like in a pastors office or at a therapy session. So when reading this, picture this as if you are a pastor or therapist and after reading this or hearing this verbally, how would you respond?

I have a frightened look in my eyes,

so lord I ask you to be by my side.

It’s better to tell the truth than to lie.

I have a good heart

but I think about homicide and suicide.

Scared for my life and I’m weak

like an abused wife.

I don’t get beat, but at times,afraid to speak.

Absent minded is a weakness of mines.

I know improvement comes with time

but being criticized for years destroyed my spirit and pride.

Please show me the way to keep me safe.

When the way is available

I pray that I choose the right path to keep me safe.

Today all I know is that I have to pray

but how do I start?

Another weakness of mines

how do I finish what I start?

My mind is like

a hockey player skating on a hockey ring,

I am all over the place.

Can’t stay focus and I always had problems to concentrate

on anything.

I never had interest in going back to church

but I would reconsider if I can find the right person to relate to,

to show me how to follow you and make the right moves.

To teach me to do not what always feels good

but do what is right.

I don’t know why but all I know is I fear for my life?

I haven’t cried in three years.

Maybe I should release the pain by shedding tears.

Sometimes I hate myself for not speaking up.

So many times I let things slide like a water ride.

Am I worthy to be a man?

What is it that I don’t understand?

I am curious to know what is your plan?

Will I die in happiness tomorrow

or live in misery for the rest of the century?

Will I accomplish more than my parents

Or will I die with nothing and go to hell

when people visit me in the cemetery?

Will I be a legend?

Will I be just a short term memory?

Will I be loved for eternally?

“Will I escape the weather when it rains?

Or will I stand still and accept the rain

and look above my head at the dark cloud?”

I was fortunate to have both parents

and yet so many doubts.

“Is it right to hate someone you love?

Another words, can you love and hate somebody

at the same time?”

It’s better to tell the truth than to lie,

so I am fuming on the inside.

“So stressed since over the years I’ve been criticize,

so I became addicted to free time.

All I wanna do is just being alone with my thoughts

and zone out but this is not healthy right?

Is this the reason why I am lazy?

Is it because I am addicted to free time?

I can write and write

about all the fucked things that happened to me

but what am I accomplishing in life

by complaining all the time?

I have lied at times but it was because I am addicted the free time.

I should be happy and free right?

Telling the truth is the right thing

but telling the truth make you regretful

when the result of it makes you miserable,

so is it better to lie than to tell the truth?

So see how I am addicted to free time?

For being criticized

and always doing things other people’s way

is why I rather isolate into my own space.

I keep my feelings inside

but it takes up space

in my head and when it is time

for me to handle my responsibilities,

I can’t concentrate.

Overthink shit every single day.”

They say be careful what you wish for.

Well for years I wished for peace

but instead I bleed

and the people that stabbed me

are usually the people I don’t see

so I learned that betrayal is beyond my reach.

So I isolate my self to protect myself.

I talk to myself.

Is this bad for my health?

Well you can answer that

but I don’t give a fuck about your opinion

if you think I’m not an ordinary civilian

when you haven’t walked years down the path I took.

“You ever had a bad dream and thought it was real

and you was thankful you woke up and it wasn’t real?

Well imagine it in reverse,

I sleep and dream about heaven and peace

and wake up to brimstone and fire

so another words my reality is a nightmare?”

I can relate to the average inmate on the tier.

Ever wondered how an inmate or homeless person sleep?

Imagine having a good dream

and waking up to living on the street or in prison.

Or imagine dreaming about endless sex

with beautiful women but wake up knowing you are a virgin?

“Now this don’t sound so unpleasant

and this pain sounds lenient

but we all view things different.”

To that virgin, it feels like

his dick is in prison

and he has to wait years to release his semen.

His wrist has limited movement

from being cuffed and his wrist hurts

from constantly jerking off.

“For those of reading this,

do you see how I am relating masturbating to prison?

It’s about guilt and this how I feel.

Guilty like a criminal and my guilt

has my mind and body in a cell.

So jerking off is my exercise and freedom

to release tension and the blood flow is increasing

like I ‘m pumping iron

and my arm is so sore

I could barely lift it.

See how I related masturbating to prison?”

Let me stop bragging and explain my flaws

through erectile dysfunction.

My mind couldn’t function.

It was a little over four years ago,

but felt like yesterday

when I couldn’t play with it my way.

When I say it, I’m talking about

the vagina.

It’s in front me but I didn’t have the tool to use it.

“As a child you ever had video games and toys in front

of you

but wasn’t allowed to play with them

because you was on punishment?

Imagine that is this.

Felt like an unprepared student

always forgetting his pencil.

I had so much potential to be an excellent lover

but the pain was mental

and this is where I learned mental slavery

is worst than physical slavery.”

My mind is worn out

like the big bad wolf

when trying to blow the third little

pigs house down by huffing

and puffing.

Got tired of stressing

so went to the urologist

and got a sample of cialis.

Like nicotine, I got addicted to this

and raw vagina and cream pies felt

good like holding your urine for a hour straight

until you finally get home and then you start

releasing it

like a new video game coming out for Christmas

and because of cialis, the cells in my seamen

was like the crowd rushing on Black Friday in the front doors

of Walmart at midnight.

But constant pregnancy scares had me fearing for my life.

This was another mental fight.

So lesson I learned was, one problem solved

can add on another when you take shortcuts

but I’m hardheaded and I don’t know if I give a fuck

about making the same mistakes.

But anyway I went off topic and let me get back to it.

For a while this was pain for me

for worrying what others think of me

and that’s the weakness in me.

But I had to find a way escape this mental pain

when she choose another guy over me ( read I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1) andI Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

for full story).

So I blamed and hated myself and blamed God for not

getting hard.

But it’s whatever

because I realized there is better

and I’m talking about better vagina.

I pushed my integrity out the window

and paid for professionals.

Fuck passion and romance

getting my dick sucked and rough sex

became my best friends.

and sex with average girls became overrated.

Instead of letting them judge me,

I decided to judge them

and thought women were worthless

and do I still feel this way, hmm I honestly don’t know?

My lack of sex skills had me despising black women

and I am going to be honest,

I was in my emotions

acting sensitive like a little bitch

but I reminded my self

that I was a man

and I’m suppose to think with logic

and this time period for me

was difficult like algebraic expressions

so I found a way to simplify it

by reminding myself sex is overrated

and reminding myself of that

defined my mentality

like I was looking up something

in a Websters dictionary.

I was told

“Love is a serious mental diseases?”

“So hate is my weapon to conquer my enemy

because being hateful is selfish

and selfish people usually have the biggest hearts

and been through the worst type of heart breaks.”

This was something I just learned yesterday.

I will be more selfish

tomorrow for hating my yesterday

and today I received a present

a got a small heart to fit in my body.

So I’m an writing this to present

my soul for you to witness.

I can write for so long

you would think I am immortal.

My thoughts are for free, they are affordable

like united healthcare

but in reality it’s worth more

than any coin or dollar.

Was told plenty of times

my poetry is deep and powerful

so I hope when you read this

I helped you witness a miracle.

Now I can’t turn water into wine

but maybe I can save you from

committing a crime

or exiting out of somebody’s life

over some fucked up shit

because don’t be like I.

I am here to change lives

like a inmate on beyond scare straight

doing life

but I doubt if I would,

before I die.

Fuck wishing to be a billionaire,

I would rather die broke tomorrow

if tonight I can save a life.

As you can see, I can write all day

and all night

like an inmate, have nothing but time.

But what happens after I finish telling my life experiences?

So my question is, will I have another poem left in me

and when my work is complete, should I take my

life story to recite to an open mic?

I still have more to write and I think I will get darker and deeper. I think one day in the distant future, I will recite this to a large crowd to save people from becoming like me.

So when you reading this an imaging that you are a pastor or therapist, how would you respond?(No need to answer this question but its is something think about or even discuss with somebody else you close with)

But I will leave three questions for you to answer in the comment section

  1. After reading this, what are three words to describe this poem?

  2. Can you get your heart broken if you are a selfish person?

  3. While you were reading this, the statements I left in quotes, did you learn anything new or was everything relatable?

  4. I am always willing to learn so is there anything you would like to share about his or if you have a view point about something that I mentioned, feel free to comment below

  5. Also comment below if you have a good deep question for me to think about and I am willing to respond.

Image result for how i feel

And

Image result for how i feel

How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie(Part 2)

Before you read this, I highly recommend you ready How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie first. I share my very personal thoughts in poetry format cut and dry and I don’t give a fuck. Through out this poem, I will have some sentences in bold in this poem because those are the quotes that are most powerful lessons that I learned

I can write for days

while you observe

the pain on my face.

Plus I’m poor

like a report card

with bad grades.

“Myself, I choose to isolate

and use to do it

to keep my heart safe

but it just increased the rage

and I write poetry to release frustration.

to keep my head straight.”

I can snap at any given time

and space

and I’m sure some of you can relate.

I mean how much can a muthfucka take?

It’s sad when you ain’t

comfortable at your home base.

I zone out and stare off into space

wishing somebody else can take my place.

I use to wonder why I never had so many dates?

As I got older, I was like fuck a date,

paying for sex was the way.

For those of you that follow me,

I mentioned this in so many ways.

So many ways I can express my hate.

I hate a person that always thinks he/she right.

Thinking their opinion only matters in life.

I hate a person that’s tight

with money in their hand.

“I know people that will help a stranger

before a family member

or friend.

Loyal to the wrong person

until they are betrayed

and now back to family

they complaining expressing their hurt

and this is how life works,

the ones that don’t have it like that

will give you their last

and the ones that got it like that

are tight with it.”

It hurts because money rules the world.

I said over and over

“Loyalty push to the side when the price is right

and it been like this

way before Bob Barker’s time.”

Judas betrayed Jesus

for 30 silver pieces

way way before social media existed.

“Performing miracles isn’t impressive

because money is the real magic.”

Mind is playing tricks

falling victim to the devil’s wish

selling him your body and soul

and you just became his trick

and he pimps

you out to be worldly.

“Is worshiping God boring?

If the answer is yes

is this the reason

why more people go to hell then heaven?

How can we make worshiping God more exciting?”

Excitement comes three times,

when the dick is hard,

when the pussy is wet,

and when money involved.

Its an addiction we can’t stop.

If money was promised

to every person

that go to church on Sunday,

more people would be worshiping God.

Wouldn’t you agree?

See how this is fake pretending?

People only around to seek cheese

until you speak up and say no.

Behind your back

they make fun of the way you speak

after they take your money.

A few post back I said

“Same niggas they say

“Money over pussy”

put

“Pussy over family””.

Mothers out there fucking their son’s

right hand man to receive money in their hand.

Some mothers fuck for free.

If one of my friends

fucked my mother he dying for free.

“But I don’t have friends,

I have family.

So another words,

never trust a friend

because they can never be family.”

Friends are temporary like the temp agency.

We chase the wrong ones,

chasing the popularity.

“As a kid in high school,

was told talking to bitches

was what make you popular

because niggas want bitches

and bitches want niggas

that are popular

and being around fine bitches

is what make niggas popular.”

“High school is popularity chasing and chasing

something is a full time job

which is time consuming

and chasing too hard for something

will get you nothing”.

“Chasing too hard for something

will have trying

to pretend to be someone you not”.

It will make you look eve more corny.

Like a comedian trying to hard to be funny?

“Sometimes good things will come naturally

but we hate patience with a passion

and this destroys us spiritually

and we disconnect with God

and feel empty

like being in a relationship with somebody

w/o the chemistry.

But we get comfortable in solitary

so avoiding communicating

leads to cheating

and looking over your shoulder

to make sure you don’t get caught.

But we just students and bad experience

is the teacher but some students

don’t listen

so we try avoiding

getting caught

but being lucky isn’t guaranteed”

I will reiterate that

“Sometimes good things will come naturally

but we hate patience with a passion

and this destroys us spiritually

and we disconnect with God

and feel empty

like being in a relationship with somebody

w/o the chemistry.

But we get comfortable in solitary

so avoiding communicating

leads to cheating

and looking over your shoulder

to make sure you don’t get caught.

But we just students and bad experience

is the teacher but some students

don’t listen

so we try avoiding

getting caught

but being lucky isn’t guaranteed”

What is guaranteed?

Taxes, death

but what else is left?

Never guaranteed life

but we guaranteed

we will die the moment

you planted inside a woman.

Not guarantee to see life

some cells never make out the vagina

Some lives die inside but did God do those lives a favor?

Life is not sweet like candy

you’ll either will learn this now or later.

Either way it don’t matter

because I’m still bitter.

This is more than a long poem

I’m expressing true life emotions

and I’m doing ya a favor. I

tell the cold hard truth

and the amount of people that lie

you’ll see that the crowd is wide

like an angle that’s obtuse.

Lies we get so use to

we don’t believe it

when we actually meet a person

that tells the truth.

My poetry might not be great

but it speaks the truth

even if it embarrasses my personality.

So much to say

I have alot to say

I can write for days

while you observe the pain on my face.

My hidden emotions is my excuse

to how I became a talent poet

and I can tell a life story better than fresh prince

But what happens after I finish telling my life experiences?

So my question is, will I have another poem left in me

after this get uploaded?

I will upload a part 3 and maybe a part 4 .

How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie

To explain how I feel

don’t know where to start.

Friends and family are fake

but emotions are real.

So much bottle up inside

it’s making me ill.

But its’ time to tip over the bottle

and let it spill

and lay it out on the the table.

To start expressing, I don’t if I’m able

but I will try my best

and this is not a fable.

Well lets just say there is a thin line

between love and hate

and I cross over the line

back fourth like

I’m playing jump rope.

My emotions is not a dirty body

that could get washed away with soap.

I am starting to lose hope

Why I should I fight

When I can jump of the

Throng Neck bridge and Die?

Why should I cry

I since don’t know how to

since I keep everything bottle up inside?

I hide whats inside to protect the outside.

Getting tired of being told what to do.

On my mind,two words on it is “Fuck You

I rather be isolated.

The nice guy in me is slowly dying

Have to the mind set to commit a homicide.

Fuck it,If I love you,I rather see you die

then ask forgiveness later

Build up with such much anger.

My mind is in danger

and its killing me slow like lung cancer.

I look in the mirror and ask myself

“Am I a murder?”

“Am I a serial Killer?”

“Will I be the black version of Adolf Hitler?”

I had a dream one time

that my soul went to hell.

So might as well give my soul to sell

I can be the devil’s ‘Michael’

one of his arch demons.

Evil should be my focus

and I should spread it

and make it contagious

like farmers going through a famine

because of locusts.

When I try to do good I can’t stay focus.

Maybe evil is my calling.

Every baby aborted

I wish I could trade lives

with.World full of hypocrites

that are only kind for their own benefits

and I can’t stand it.

Relationships is rare like job benefits.

Nobody now hires full time

and this is how I view relationships

because people only want the benefits

but won’t make scarfices to commit full time.

I rather be lonely forever.

I though by the age of 28

I would be alone

but still stuck at home.

This right here is more than a poem

I needed to write this because

I am in the zone.

I can relate to all the sad songs

while writing this poem.

Held on things for so long.

I ready to release like ejaculation.

Fuck my concentration

I am almost starting to give up on praying

I won’t lie and be hypocrite

I do believe there is a God

but I gave up going on church a long time ago

“The one that invite you to church are the ones

that wanna see you in hell.”

The gate is wide

and the fake angels will smile wide

when they say hi

but deep down they despise

looking in your eyes.

I know this so I trust no one

Show love to no one

because love will get you killed

and LLPhate you make you live.

“We eat more than we can shit.”

I ponder because I have two hands

juggling everything you can imagine.

It’s like I drink 10 glasses of water

but still dehydrating.

Does reading this sounds devastating?

Now how the fuck you think I feel?

This pain is real

This poem is selfish.

My feelings I choose to conceal but

I was told that was selfish.

I will say I am a talented poet

but that’s because I have hidden emotions

disguised as love which is really hate.

“I feel like Eve

because I have been deceived

by so many serpents

and yet I get punished

suffering the consequences

of others being persuasive.

Have you been in debt

or almost went to jail

because of somebody’s actions?

It’s a tragic and another life lesson

I learned at 23.

“There are criminals in society

and innocent ones in the penitentiary.”

Being naive will have serving a sentence

for not using common sense.

I’m gonna reiterate and capitalized this shit

“BE NAIVE WILL HAVE YOU SERVING A SENTENCE

FOR NOT USING COMMON SENSE.” – David Hocakday

‘Proud To Be An American”

Lmao yeah right

This country is fucking racists.

This is not a place for the poor.

Every year we struggle

more and more

since salaries

don’t keep up with the cost of living.

Am I better off in prison?

The meals are for free

The weights are for free

Besides there nothing on TV

thanks to social media.

I am satisfied with my jobs

but problem is I can’t afford a living

with both my jobs.

I tired of asking money from my mom

I am almost 30

yet I still feel like a 3 year old.

Do my parents have to hold my

hand while I cross the street?

What’s funny

is that I’m to the point where I’m almost

ready to give up and live on the street

since I love being lonely.

I only feel peace when I sleep

or when I masturbate when I’m horny.

I said earlier that I am a talented poet

because of hidden emotions.

So my question is

will have another poem left in me

after this get uploaded?

I will upload a part 2 and maybe a part 3 sometime this week