My Life


Alot on my mind

Alot to say

Alot of time

to think all day.

I woke up today

felt nervous.

1000 thoughts

on my mind

every single time.

Head is more crowded

than a prison.

My head is a cellblock

and each thought

is a cell.

So narrow, no room

to breathe.

Annoys me like

a kid with a stick

poking me.

Is it misery

As I think suddenly

about the pain

that causes me

an affliction so deep

My faith drowns in

a pool of hate.

Imagine waking up

thinking your car can break

down any moment.

Imagine waking up 5am

on purpose to leave the house

to avoid seeing your parent

Imagine waking up loving

your girlfriend

but regret a relationship

for not having money

in your pocket.

Imagine working 2 jobs

with no days off

and still barely making it.

Imagine waking up

almost damn near 30

and still not independent

compared to your siblings.

Imagine waking up

and addicted to masterbating

because you fear

that you might be lacking

in the sex department

Imagine waking up feeling

disappointed

because you tired of seeing

the same faces.

Imagine waking up

realizing that it’s going

to be a long night of studying

Imagine waking up tired

but can’t take off because

of being broke

and have to make

room in your head to make

plans for your girlfriend.

Imagine waking up

upset with yourself

because you can’t

afford therapy sessions

because insurance

doesn’t cover it.

My body is a rope

and my thoughts

are playing tug of war

with my body.

Peace I get hardily any.

Unforribidden remedies

I seek close distance

but can’t touch.

I realized this in my sleep

when last night I dreamed

I met the former president

“Barack Obama”.

I was at buffalo wild wings

with my sister,

eating wings.

I just happen to look next

to me.

I saw him sitting right next

to me in a booth

with a blue tie matching

his dark blue suit

and black alligator shoes.

He was eating with his

wife “Michelle”.

Barack had a cheeseburger

on his plate.

Then I looked at his face.

I was astonished because

like why would the most famous

black man be a local

buffalo wild wings.

So I’m staring at him

then he stares back at me.

He extends his hands

and says

“I’m Barack and you are?”

When he said that I was beyond

shocked.

I almost fainted.

I got on my knees

and met eye level with his legs

and hugged it.

Now I don’t exactly remember what happened

next but

Barack did tell me

he was preparing for a speech.

I had a million questions to ask him

but my main question to him was

“In 2008 when you won the election,

Was you nervous, did you have doubts

that you wasn’t going to be a good president?”

I never got an answer because I woke up

from my dream.

The example of my dream is my real life.

When I feel like I get closer to accomplishing something,

my doubts consumes me realizing life is harder

than I imagine

and rejection is more common than accomplishments

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