I just want to let you know that tomorrow at 6AM, I will be uploading a Christmas poem so make sure to check that out. On Monday December 3, I will upload the answers to the riddle I posted yesterday Who Can Solve This Riddle? and it’s an interesting riddle. For those you that watched Nickelodeon as kid, you might be able to solve my riddle. I just want to thank all of my followers and God bless you all. Before reading my story, I will advise for the ones that don’t know me to read Who Am I? to understand what type of person that I am and I think that will help you make sense of this story. If you have any questions about the story below please comment below
I will never forget my 25th birthday. 2014 – 2015 I was going through depression. In October 2014, was the first time I got my feelings hurt and went through serve depression and it was over a girl I use to date. But I might as well start from the beginning and this is a long blog just to give you a warning.
Now in October 2014, that was the year that I had lost my great grandmother and also the year that I have lost the love of my love. Now I will admit, it was mostly my fault in which why things ended between us but I had good reasons into which why I broke up with her. 1) because I didn’t want to get her pregnant and 2) I felt like like she wasn’t really into to me like she said she was. So anyway to continue, we broke up but remained friends. While we remained friends, I still had strong feelings for and deep down wanted to be with her but still was satisfied with being friends with her. Throughout the friendship from December 2014 until July 2015, I received nothing but mixed signals from this girl. At first I feel like she wanted to be with me, but then on other days I felt like she wanted nothing to do with me. I am going to talk about all the bullshit I went through for 7 months.
In December 2014 me and my ex was texting. Now my dad told me that he was going away for 3 weeks. So I told my ex, I am happy because I will have the house to myself for 3 weeks. Her exact words were “Nice and you better invite me over to your house”.
I responded “lol nah you can’t”. She responded “Why not lol?” Now at the time I was naive and I thought alright maybe she does wanna come over. So fast forward 2 weeks later on New Years Eve I texted her ” Since you off tomorrow do wanna come over?
She said ” What time?”
I said “At 2, but it don’t matter what time.”
She said “She said well if it don’t matter the time, then I will let you know.” Now in the back off my mind I felt like she didn’t wanna come over because if she really did then she just would of said yes. Next day comes by and I didn’t hear from her. I wished her Happy New Year and she wished me Happy New Year and she never even mentioned come over to my place or anything. So I assumed she was hoping that I didn’t bring it up or hoping I forgot about inviting her over. Even though in the back of my mind I knew she was avoiding coming over to my house, I didn’t make it a big deal though,I let it slide becuase I figured maybe it wasn’t best that we have sex anyway since we just friends.
Fast forward to February 2015, so me and my ex were still friends texting on a regular basis. I wanted to hang out with her before school started in March. So we were on the phone talking and it was a Sunday. Over the phone, I asked her “Since I’m going back to school soon and I’m gonna be really busy do you wanna hang out this Friday ?” She was hesitant and said “I’ll let you know” So now in my head I’m like wtf like it’s either yes or no you know if you free on Friday or not. So we texted throughout out the week. Now Friday comes and for second I thought about asking her again if she was free for Friday, but then I’m like nah, she said she would let me know so the ball is in her court. So we texted throughout Friday and she never mentioned or got back to me about hanging out for Friday. So now I got a little irritated. So what I did was I purposely waited until two days to bring up the issue. You see, what she was doing was she she says”I’ll let you know” because she really don’t have interest in hanging out with me but she don’t wanna be straight forward she rather string me along. So I decided wait two days because I knew she was hoping I would forget. So two days later which is a Sunday I texted her “You never got back to me about hanging out on Friday” She says ” I was waiting for you to mentioned it” So I said “When I asked you to hang out and you said you let me know” She said”Oh I did, oh I’m so sorry it’s just that I’ve been stressed out this” basically she was giving me bullshit excuses.
Now let’s fast forward to April 2015. I was texting her and I was a little tipsy. She knew I was tipsy so she ask me do I still have feelings for her. Now I honestly don’t remember what my response to that question was because this happened like three years ago, but one thing that did cross my mind was the fact that as soon as I told her that I was tipsy then she wanna know if I had still had feelings for her. It’s funny because when you tipsy or drunk that’s when the truth comes out. She thought she was slick lol. But anyway this was when the fast and the furious 7 movie came out and I told to her that I plan on seeing fast and the furious movie and your invited if you want to see it. So basically I was leaving it up to her because I was going to see the movie regardless. So she said that she wanted to see it. So I said to her well alright just remind me on Saturday so I won’t forget. I purposely said that to leave the ball in her court because I’m not really trying to chase after nobody too hard. On Saturday surprisingly she texted me ” So we still going to see this movie right?” and I said “yeah “I will pick you up at work.” So I picked her up at work and we go see this movie. The mood was alright for the most part. So after the movie we walking towards my car and I tried to kiss her but she wasn’t feeling the mood. I kissed her for about 5 seconds. I tried to get closer but she stop me, went in the car and closed the door on me. You have no idea how that felt. Like we texted everyday, I was going to church with her family on a regular basis, I would pick her up from work, and a week prior she asked me if I still had feelings for her and this is what I get in return. I got pretty pissed off. So on the ride back home it was quiet in the car. I dropped her off home and I was tight. I came to the realization that maybe I should just move on because at this point I felt like there was another guy she was messing with.
I will stop it right here because this is a long story. I know this is confusing and hard to follow and this may seem unorganized but this happened a while ago and I’m trying to remember everything that happened. In case you guys are wondering why I was angry and confused is because throughout the months when my ex and I broke up, did try to get back with her back in November 2014, but she told me that she needed a break and time to heal because she been heart broken before and I understood that but we agreed that we will remain friends. But as the months went by, I started to think to myself like if she needed time to heal then why are we friends? Either we should just be together or just go our separate ways. I now know that when you need time to heal from a broken heart you should not remain contact with your ex. For those of you reading this, if you think this is bad, it gets much worst but I will upload the rest of the story next Friday. If any of you are annoyed or pissed off with what was said in this story, I highly recommend you not to read part 2 because it get worst. That’s all I’m gonna say. Part 2 will take place from April 2015 until July 2015 which will lead to my 25th birthday.