A Deep Conversation With Myself

You told me write a love poem?

My self expression of love in a poem

I don’t love myself, loving myself is wrong.

I hate myself, and I been good at it for so long.

How can living in fear be so wrong

when it happens and appears so easily?

Misery is greedy and it hogs me

and don’t want to share my 200 pound body

with anybody that appears lovely and spiritually.

How can you tell me to write about something

that I can’t define my myself?

How can you tell me to write about something

that I can’t find myself?

I never heard of Jesus, but the devil strikes me below the belt.

That’s the pain that surronds my brain.

They say no pain no gain, well I feel the pain without the gain.

Why love myself if I have you to do it for me?

Why do you need to understand why I hate myself? I love to be lonely so I don’t need your company.

Fuck being love and spiritual, Fuck being romantic and hopeful, I only write poems

that are dark and painful.

Fuck being loved, I rather be feared.

Fear overrides love anytime anywhere.

The fear in me rises and the demons in me are hiding.

I am tired of disguising

Kindess is overrated, kindess made me desperate.

But I thank those that took adavtange of me,

becuase anger is my greastest weapon.

Well tell me this, if Jesus is the way

Why do more people go to hell than heaven?

What are the best types of poems to read?

1)dark/painful

2)hopeful/inspiring

3)Spiritual/Religious

4)Love/Romantic

My favorite poems to read and write are dark/painful,hopeful/inspiring,Spiritual/religious, then love/romance in that order

For those of you that like poetry, comment below and tell me what is your favorite type of poetry you enjoy reading and who is your favorite poet and why?

Should men always pay for the first date? What is the appropriate budget for the first date?

Please go to my Podcast and listen to my episode on “Should men always pay for the first date, and what’s the appropriate budget for the first date. The episode is about 20 minutes long.

After you listen to my podcast, leave a comment and give your thoughts on if you believe a man always pay for the first regardless of who initiated the date, what’s the appropriate budget, and are coffee dates good first dates or is coffee dates lame!

Do women prefer nice guys or assholes?

Image result for picture of nice guys vs assholes

As a man, have you wondered what goes through a women’s mind when she get approached in public by men?

As a man have you ever wondered if women prefer to have a nice boyfriend or a boyfriend that’s an asshole?

As a man, have you wondered why you constantly get curved or put in the friend zone?

As a man, do you feel like being nice is overrated and women are only attracted to assholes?

What women really want?

Now I can’t give you a straight forward answer regarding if women prefer nice guys or assholes because not all women are the exactly same even though most women have similar wants and needs when it comes to dating. But there are pros and cons to being a nice guy and asshole and I will list a few.

Pros of being a nice guy

  1. Nice guys are always available.
  2. Nice guys are good communicators.
  3. Nice guys are always there to listen when you are depressed and need to get something off your shoulders.
  4. Nice guys will make scarifies and won’t make excuses and will always put his lady first.
  5. Nice guys are always on time.
  6. Nice guys don’t expect anything from a woman except for her to be herself around him

Cons of being a nice guy

  1. Nice guys lack confidence
  2. Nice guys are afraid to speak up when they don’t agree with something so they may lack the ability to protect a woman from harm
  3. Nice guys are sometimes boring because they may always allow the girl to take the lead instead of taking charge.
  4. Nice guys are too available
  5. Nice guys are probably too straight forward and don’t know how to flirt.
  6. Nice guys take too long to make a move or express their feelings.
  7. Since a nice guy lack the characteristic of being in charge, most women will think the ice guy is boring in the bedroom.
  8. Nice guys sometimes are sneaky and aren’t faithful.

Pros of being an asshole

  1. Assholes are more confident compared to the nice guy and women love confidence
  2. Assholes are men that can be fixed and women feel like they can change this type of man because assholes are more challenging and women love challenges.
  3. Assholes are not always available and tend to be available on his own time in which makes him unpredictable and woman love men that are unpredictable.
  4. Assholes are an addiction and this is why women want to be around them more
  5. Assholes are annoying in a good way and know how to make women laugh
  6. Assholes sometimes are nice guys on the inside behind close doors when a woman takes the time to get to know him.
  7. Assholes are dominant and decisive and have a lot leader qualities in which make women more attractive to the asshole.

Cons of being asshole

  1. Assholes can be too arrogant in which could turn most women off
  2. Assholes are good for canceling plans with their significant other last minute to hang out with their boys.
  3. Assholes are very insecure because their past has taught them that being too passive and letting other people take advantage of their kindness and letting people steal the spotlight from them, makes them jealous so they always have to be center of the attention.
  4. Asshole have too much pride and don’t know how to apologize or admit when their wrong.
  5. Assholes are only a phase in the beginning. Overall women do get tired with them overtime and learn to appreciate the nice guy.
  6. Assholes do not take their significant other feelings in consideration whatsoever.

What’s my input

Now I can’t give you a straight forward answer because every women thinks and behave differently, but I can only tell you my point of view from my experience. To be honest, I don’t really like hearing the question “Why women prefer assholes over nice guys” because nice guys are not perfect. Nice guys think that being nice is enough to get a girl to catch feelings for him. I meet nice people all the the time and just because someone is nice to me doesn’t automatically assume that I want to invite that person over my house, or hang out with that person. Nice guys have a hard time accepting rejection. Rejection is promised to everybody and rejection is how we learn from our mistakes in order to move forward in life. The main problem with nice guys is that they are trying too hard to make an impression by being extra nice. This leads to unsuccessful results for two reason. When your too nice, most women will take advantage of you and will only be around your presence for financial support and emotional support, or some women will just keep it moving and move on and not waste her time with a nice guy at all so she won’t lead him on. Nice guys are always confused because the nicer they are, the harder it is for someone to tell them the truth because we believe nice people are too sensitive and can’t handle the truth. This is partly the reason why nice guys get a lot of mixed signals.

The assholes are a bit more complicated. Assholes confuse women since they tend to be unpredictable. Women want men that are dominant, decisive, confident, and know how to take charge. Assholes don’t seek validation on rather or not if the girl they are pursuing is interested in them because they know they can get any girl at any given time. Assholes know how to make a good time out of anything. Assholes know how to keep the conversation interesting. Assholes tend to be more experienced with women. Assholes actually tend to be goodhearted and sensitive people behind close doors when you take the time to get know them. But at the same time, assholes are only a phase because assholes are very insecure people when you get to know them. Assholes can be very impolite. Assholes are not capable of making the sacrifices and effort to be committed to a relationship. Overall an asshole make his girlfriend feel lonely because he tend to neglect her needs and not care about what’s on her mind. So overall an asshole can actually make a woman appreciate a nice man so much more since assholes tend to be toxic men.

So overall there are pros and cons to being a nice guy and a asshole. Nice men need to understand that being nice is not enough for a woman to catch for feelings. Nice guy need to know that when they are pursuing women, they need to focus on what they like, don’t like and speak up when they don’t agree with something. Don’t worry about making mistakes and if you want it impress any woman, just be yourself by focusing and demonstrating your positive characteristics towards the woman you are pursuing. Stop worrying about why women prefer assholes. If a woman is not interested in who you are as a person and rather be with somebody else, than that’s her problem. For assholes, remember that your personality can make some women interested being around, but it takes effort and scarifies to keep her around and don’t forget that. It’s okay to be dominant and in control because I get it, you don’t want to seem like a pushover, but remember to be respectful always and respect come first always. Stop letting your pride get in the way because a lot you assholes are so concerned about impressing your friends by being a asshole to your girl because you care more about what your friends think than what you or your girlfriend thinks. If you keep treating your girl like a second option, she will eventually leave you for somebody else that will treat her like a priority and you’ll never see it coming. Once she leaves, it will be too late to get her back(in most cases) and your friends will not give you the support that you need.

Image result for Nice guys over assholes art

Discussion Questions

  1. The meme I posted above, do you agree with this?
  2. Is there anything in this post that you disagree with?
  3. I talked about nice men and asshole men, would you like me to do a follow up and take about nice women and asshole women?
  4. Do you believe that women wanting an asshole is only a phase or do you think that women will always prefer the asshole over the nice guy?
  5. Do you think there is any situations where nice guy finish first?

Is it healthy to have a close friend as a Ex?

This post is a very short post.

 

Now before I get into today’s topic, I saw  good question on twitter. The question was “Ladies, if a dude had flowers sitting in the car for you on the first date. Would y’all say he’s doing too much?” Me personally as a man, I think flowers is not a terrible thing but I would wait until the third or fourth date. But for the women reading this question, comment below and tell what you think about this!

 

Now please read my last post What will My future Blogs Will Be About?. 

Now is it healthy to have a Ex as a close friend? 

 

Unless you have a child with your ex, I don’t see an good reason why a person would communicate with their Ex. I believe if somebody is still in contact with their ex, then they probably stilling fucking.

The top three reasons why I believe people still keep in contact : 

  1. They still love you
  2. You still love them
  3. You’re lonely

 

Just a few questions for you to think about!

  1. If you just got in a new relationship and your new partner is close friends with their ex, how would you feel?
  2. If your current partner was invited to dinner by their ex, and your current partner was willing to go to dinner with their ex, how would you respond?
  3. Have you ever kept in contact with your ex, while dating somebody new and did the current partner know that you was still in contact with your ex?
  4.  Is it possible to have a successful relationship with your new partner, if you just broke up with your ex?
  5. Besides the three reasons I listed above, why do you think people still keep in contact with their ex?
  6. What if you was friends with your ex first before ya got together, now after ya realized a relationship between ya isn’t the best option and ya just rather remain friends, would you expect your new partner to accept the fact that you are friends with your ex?

 

Pick at least 2 out of the six questions and comment below and if you have any questions, feel free to comment!

 

Also come and listen to my podcast “Spoken Word“.

 

What will My future Blogs Will Be About?

Questions On Dating/Relationships/Marriages

 

I was on Youtube and I recently discovered this channel in which a group of young people express their opinions on questions about relationships, dating, marriage, sex and among other things. Some of these questions definitely caught my attention and I believe these type of questions are things that should be discussed with your peers.   The name of the channel I’m talking about is “Krew Season. So if you are curious about this Youtube channel , just go to Youtube now and type in Krew Season.

So for my next five topics, I will be blogging about these five topics listed below:

 

 

  1. Is it healthy to have your Ex as a close friend?
  2. Do women prefer nice guys or assholes?
  3. Are men obligated to pay on the first date?
  4. Top 5 lies Women tell?
  5. Top 5 lies Men tell?

 

If if you get a chance, you should check out their youtube channel because they have a lot of interesting discussions that I believe most of us would be  interested in .

Are We Meant To Be Happy?

Why does a heart so warm
can have such a guilty conscience?
Why does the negative
have to outweigh the positive?
Why does the potential
have to become wasted talent?
Why do good people
choose to be dishonest?
Why is it so hard to use logic?
Why can’t we control our emotions?
Why do we achieve accomplishment
after accomplishment
but still feel worthless?
Why do hearts get broken
when we are the ones
that made sacrifices?
Why do we learn the real lesson
after rejection?
Why do a honest mistake need
lots of criticizing?
Why is the demons existing
when we are on our knees
praying?
Why is it when we die,
we take our secrets
instead of exposing it?
Why do employees
provide rude customer service?
Why does a spouse have to go
through a sexless marriage?
Why does masturbation
have to be so addictive?
Why is motivation and subscription
a 1 week vacation and misery is a
lifetime subscription?
Why can’t relatives
we barely hear from
mind their business?
Why is it when we post a blog,
we can’t get comments?
Why nice men don’t get appreciated
by women?
Why do men fail to protect women by becoming abusive?
Why do we still have sex unprotected
when there are so many diseases?
Why is it when we become teenagers, we
argue with our parents?
Why is it so hard to get the book
that we spent sleepless nights writing
about so hard to get published?
Why do people that quit everything get criticized when quitting is simplistic?
Why is it so hard to take your own advice
but we expect others to listen?
Why is it so hard to follow our passion?
Why is it so hard to be dedicated?
Why are we still having children, when earth is becoming more overpopulated?
Why are so many entry level jobs require years of experience?
Biggest question of all,
Why did Adam and Eve choose to disobey God and listen to the serpeant?
Why are we meant to be happy after reading all of these questions?

If heaven was guaranteed this minute, would you still think life is worth living?

How To Save Your Marriage(Part 8)

If you think your marriage is unsolvable, think again.

Don’t let your marriage be destroyed. If your marriage is in danger of separation or divorce, email me at “dhockaday51@gmail.com” to set up an appointment. I’m a specialist in marriage rescue and I’m here to help you learn how to save your marriage.

My motivation is to help you determine if this workshop is right for your particular situation. I also offer solutions for couples who can’t attend the workshop.

Before reading this, please read How To Save Your Marriage (Part 7) and How To Have A Good Sex Life In Your Marriage first.

10 Ways To Save Your Marriage

1) Dates Not required. As a man, once you marry your wife, tell her that dates are not necessary. Dates cost too much money, dates can cause asthma attacks, and can cause weight gain.

2) Being Affectionate is not required. Being affectionate can increase the chances of neglecting your children, increases the chance of being hurt emotionally, and you will imagined as a weak person.

3) Have limits on sexual intercourse. Sex on a regularly basis is impossible. If your spouse want to have sex on a regular basis, politely ask for a divorce. Sex will increase the chances of catching a stroke. Sex is like a roller coaster, you enjoy it more when you are a teenager. If you are over 25, and you want sex on a regular basis, then you may to seek help immediately because your energy is abnormal.

4) Parents should be involved more. As a woman, once you marry your husband, either allow your mother or your husbands mother to live with you for five years so you can be taught on how to be a good wife. As a man, for the first five years of marriage, you and your wife must sleep in separate beds because separation will destroy the lust in your bodies. The hunger for lust leads to trap with serpents.

5). The wife should never cook. As a man, never allow your wife to cook. As a man, we need to appreciate and respect women more. We need more women leaders and more women presidents. Women cooking is so traditional. Women should come home to a home cooked and allow the man to make all the meals and do the laundry.

6) The wife should pay 95% of the bills. Women are now more independent compared to women 50 years ago. As men, we need to learn from our women. So as men, lets all stick together and push for more stronger independent women by encouraging them to find careers with 6 figure salaries so they can pay all the bills.

7) Allow Freedom. Your spouse does not need to know your work schedule. It is not necessary for your spouse to know what time you will be coming home every night. When you tell your spouse everything, the marriage becomes predictable in which makes the marriage boring.

8). Your children comes first always. This is a big one because some people believe that their spouse comes first. Real shit, if you believe this

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9) Don’t be afraid to try an open marriage. Make sure to talk about protection, remain flexible, and don’t treat your secondary partner like a second class partner. Sex with the same person get boring

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Most people don’t want to admit it because they are judgmental, refuse to accept the truth, and allow what others think about them affect them in a bad way. Be honest with yourself, you know traditional sex is tedious. Porn is a very helpful factor for marriages. Now I get it, porn is not something that most be should be proud of, I get that, but here me out. The divorce rate in this generation is over 50%. People now are more liberal compare to the people 50 years. Liberals get bored a lot faster than a conservative. A secondary sex partner is better because you don’t have to worry about lying and being sneaky to your partner and your secondary partner will make you appreciate your spouse 10 times more. How many celebrities you know that cheated on their spouse, got caught, but still worked out their problems. If Hillary Clinton still stayed with her husband, then you can too.

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10) Eating requirements. Once dinner is made, you and your spouse should eat at separate times. The wife should eat first, wash her plate in the sink, than the husband eats and wash his plate in the sink. Also make sure that in the summer time you have a powerful AC in the house because both the husband and wife should be clothed as much as possible. Shorts should not be allowed in the house because the more skin that’s visible, the easier it is for the demon of lust will enter your household and destroy your marriage.

Comment below and tell me what it is that your spouse is doing that is putting your marriage at jeopardy so I can provide you with the best solution to avoid a divorce.

Lessons Learned in my 20’s

I will be turning 30 on June 22nd and I must says my 20’s was my most stressful times. I pray that my 30’s will be a lot better than my 20’s. In this post, I will be making a list of all the tings that I have learned over the past 10 years.

 

Lessons Learned

The top three things, people will judge you by is how much money you make, where you live, and who you having sex with.

  1. What I learned about money is making a lot of money is the goal but saving your money is more impressive because a lot of celebrities that were in their prime in the 80’s and 90’s are broke now.
  2.  Being from the hood don’t make you tough, and being from the suburbs don’t mean your safety is guaranteed at all times. Some neighborhoods are worst than others but crime is everywhere.
  3.  Sex is your personal business, so never volunteer to tell people how many people you have sex with, who you having sex with, and how many one night stands you had. Don’t let other people make you feel guilty about your sex life because most of the time, people that judge you and criticize you are usually jealous of you.

 

Parents and a lot of your elders will tell you that you are too young to be stressed or you don’t know how good you got it.

  1. Nobody loves you like the way your parents do. Your parents are older and wiser than you so you should always respect their advice but you have to do what makes you happy.
  2.  In this generation, it’s harder to find love, the cost of living is more expensive, and the requirements/standards to find entry level jobs are much higher which makes it harder to find good career jobs.
  3. Parents can be the biggest bullies and hypocrites. Parents will try to live through their dreams through their children but all this does is make your children resent you more. Parents should be good parents and treat their kids with respect because your kids might be all you have when you get old.

 

I have always been taught that black people are the most divided race and black people never stick together

  1.  Black people are only noticed for their violence and ignorance, but there are hardworking black people, that find true love, get married, have children and live happily ever after.
  2. Big difference between black people and niggas but every race have the people that demonstrate class and people that demonstrate ignorance. Ignorance is not based on a person’s skin, but on a person’s character.
  3.  Interracial relationships and marriages is a beautiful thing  because I love to see people being happy by following their hearts. So always follow your heart, listen to your mind, and use common sense and you will find the right person.  Never judge a person that dates outside their race and never make a person feel bad for only wanting to date within their race. Love is an emotion without color.

 

Things that I learned in my 20’s that I didn’t understand as a child

  1. I learned that reading can stimulate your mind but you won’t truly master your craft until you can apply what you read to experience.
  2. Fast food is addictive but it does harm to your mind and body because it can decrease your sex drive, make you body tired, and possibly lower your confidence.
  3.  Popularity is a phase and is only overrated if you only became popular by trying to be somebody your not. Once people get use to your presence, as time ages, people forget your presence existed in the first place. Being popular by being yourself, working hard, and helping people for the right reason will make your popularity last a lifetime. It is possible as well to be popular just by being yourself.
  4.  Boring and lonely is the new trend in this generation. Even the most popular people feel lonely and goes through depression.
  5.  Being a celebrity feels like the life from a distance, but up close and in person, being a celebrity is one of the biggest pressures you can go through because not living up to the expectations of your fans can end your career.
  6.  When you watch porn all the time, sex in real life feels so overrated.
  7.  Believe it or not, women are freakier than men, and in this generation women are more straight forward and honest and not afraid to express their opinions regarding sex, but still women hate perverts lol.  I use to be surprised whenever I met a girl that was so straight forward expressing her feelings on her sexual needs because as a child, I was always thought that women didn’t like sex.
  8. You don’t need to go to college become successful. Some of the most successful people were high school or college dropouts.
  9.  Being a teen parent is not a goal to achieve as a child growing up, but never judge a teen parent because some of them still work their asses of to make something out of themselves. You have people in this world that have no kids and still make all the excuses in the world do not do anything with their lives.
  10.  No matter how old you get, you will always make mistakes. You will always have a weakness, and ten years goes by fast.

 

 

 

 

 

Please God

The side where light is absent.
The first demon of lust is present.
The second is hidden
like materialistic items inside
a box.
This demon is hidden like secrets
and clever like a fox.
A poison that can dismantle a focus
that’s meant for greatness.
Precious like Eve’s nakedness,
lose its value
like Adam’s place in the Garden of Eden.
Lust will place me in conflict
like R kelly in 96.
I’m on the downlow and no I’m
not homosexual.
I have a secret, that one day I will
open up to the world and expose it.
My mind is an overloaded circuit.
My choices is why my life
is like a circus.
My circuit breaker is tripping
like a clumsy kid with untied shoelaces.
My world is darkness with no emotions.
A heart of stone, like corrupted politicians
that abuse power and criticize those in poverty.
Lost like odyessus in the Odyssey.
Finding my way home damn near
almost an imaginary
This is year 2 of a 20 year journey.
A punishment that has my world blindness.
Fires, cannibal giants, seductive women, hinder
my path to reach heaven.
Why is life defined like learning lessons
in physics?
All I ask for is to reach home in peacefulness.
I just want skip life like an intelligent child
skipping 1st grade,
and make it to heaven.
God, if you can hear me, can you please, I’m not asking to be rich, or for a big house.
Can you please destroy the two demons
because they block the path of me
from achieving greatness.
I do not want to burn in hell with Satan.